Archive for March 2019
The Moment Autism Changed Me
To My Dear Husband, I vividly remember our first date. I was 16 years old and you picked me up in a parking lot across the street from my friend’s house so my parents wouldn’t know. Let’s be honest, it was a disaster. We went to the movie theater and I paid for our tickets, you awkwardly put your arm around my shoulder for 5 minutes near the end of the movie and we did not speak to each other for years. You went on to have a beautiful daughter,…
Read MoreI’m Learning how to be his Mom
On Saturday morning, at 5:45 am, I casually mentioned to Cooper that I was going to Target at some point. I was chatting away to him when I worked it into the conversation. The words ‘Target’ and ‘birthday party.’ I talk to him all the time like this when we are alone. In the car. Or awake before anyone else gets up. I go on and on. Mostly nonsense really. I talk about the news. And how much I love coffee. I talk about Sawyer’s schedule. And our plans for the…
Read More6 Wonderful Things I Get to Enjoy Because of Autism
In the wake of Autism Awareness month, I wanted to highlight some of my favorite qualities about my son Zachary, who has severe non-verbal autism. Sometimes it is easier to get wrapped up in the hard parts of autism, because, yes autism is hard. However, there is happiness and joy like no other as well. We live in New Jersey, which has the highest rate of autism in the nation. The CDC reports it as 1 in 32 in New Jersey. Chances are you know someone with autism if you…
Read MoreYou Need to Discipline that Child
I shared a photo the other day of my sweet son with his photos. His treasures. In the picture Cooper was using a photo of his brothers to stim on his Kindle. Pretty cut and dry. The caption read “Cooper and his babies.” Gathered around him were more of his treasures. Mail. More photos. A bookmark. Books. A train magazine. You can’t tell from the photo but Cooper was in his glory. I was making dinner. The baby was in his high chair. Sawyer was playing hockey in the front…
Read MoreTake my Hand
“Take my hand, we’re gonna go, where, we, can, shine!” Music has always been a way for me to heal. I don’t play, I don’t sing…I listen. There have been times in my life I feel as though I am being punished. Being punished…but for what? I am not quite sure? A dark cloud forms and rains down…. but why? I have racked my brain. I have asked tough questions. I have dug deep, deeper then I know others are even capable of going. I have blamed others. I have…
Read MoreAmy Schumer on Husband’s Autism Diagnosis
Comedy star Amy Schumer is opening up about why she revealed her husband’s autism on her new Netflix special, saying the couple hopes this encourages people concerned about stigma to seek diagnosis. She said, “There are a lot of people with autism who go undiagnosed when I think their life could be better if they got those tools.” First, I think it’s amazing when autism makes the national news. And I don’t mean just CNN. I mean mainstream media. This story is all over the news and social media. I’ve…
Read MoreThis is Not What I Expected Either
“He’s 6 years old, he should be able to walk the block without complaining or flopping.” “Trick-or-treating should be fun, not stressful.” “We should be able to walk through Target together and not have to put him in a too-small cart so he doesn’t get away from us” “Field trips should be such a fun day away from school….” These thoughts either go through my mind or they cross my lips far too often. Combine our lack of child rearing experience (prior to E), our expectations, our own childhood experiences,…
Read MoreYou’re Destroying Him…
You’re destroying him. You need to look at it from an outsider prospective!” Two weeks ago, Hudson’s entire therapy team was out for a collective group session. This included his TSS, his behavioral consultant, and their supervisor. We often enjoy these meetings because although it seems like extra people in our home, it is great for brainstorming and collaboration. Our therapy team is fantastic! They go above and beyond to meet our schedule and to meet Hudson exactly where he is at for the day. Even though they are primarily…
Read MoreTrust the Process
I’ve never claimed to be an expert in child development. Or autism. Or anything related to it actually. But I do know my son. I know his quirks. His triggers. His joys and his fears. I know just where to tickle him to get the best laugh. And that if he sees exposed flesh, on a stranger or not, he will blow a raspberry on it. I know that he likes to sleep with five blankets, photos, mail, books and magazines. And that he won’t go to bed without his…
Read MoreYou Boys have made my Heart Whole
Caleb and Ben, my sweet little boys, you both mean the world to me. You’ll never even know. You wake up each day with big smiley grins. Those smiles melt my heart, and I live for them. You both have fragile x syndrome; there’s no denying it runs our household. And although it’s been quite far our biggest challenge, it’s shown me the most amazing abilities you both hold within. When some say they’ve worked hard for everything in their life, they have no idea. You two have and will…
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