You’re Destroying Him…

You’re destroying him. You need to look at it from an outsider prospective!”

Two weeks ago, Hudson’s entire therapy team was out for a collective group session. This included his TSS, his behavioral consultant, and their supervisor.

We often enjoy these meetings because although it seems like extra people in our home, it is great for brainstorming and collaboration.

Our therapy team is fantastic! They go above and beyond to meet our schedule and to meet Hudson exactly where he is at for the day.

Even though they are primarily at our house during dinner time, they integrate well into our family.

Although we were initially worried about having a “stranger” in our home during dinner time, we have found that they are a huge help as Hudson off and has some of his most challenging behaviors during that time.

Last Thursday was no different, except that we were dealing with the extra stress of having our foster child recently leave our home. We were heartbroken and trying to cope with the loss of one child, while still being supportive and enthusiastic parents for our two biological children.

The funny thing about autism, is that behaviors do not stop when you are feeling sad, or sick, or tired. Matter-of-fact, parenting in general doesn’t stop for any of those things.

One of my family members graciously offered to make dinner for us. Sure! Who wouldn’t pass up on a hot dinner when you get home from work.

I was thankful for the kind gesture and willingly accepted her offer. 5 o’clock route around and this family member shut up at our home carrying a delicious hot meal.

We all started to file into the dining room for our usual busy family night dinners.

Me, Wesley, Hudson, Harper and three therapy team members who were excited to see the progress that Hudson made since our last team session.

“Boy! It looks like the children are being forced to eat in a fish bowl tonight!”

I ignored the comment and continued on as normal with our dinner, conversing with the team about our wins and continued challenges.

The next morning, I got this text:

“ I left your house in tears last night and cried all the way home. I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about what I observed at your house. They are destroying him. You have to see it from an outsider perspective! I would like the opportunity to talk to you about this. “

Destroying him???????

Immediately I was filled with rage, hurt, defensive.

How dare you judge me for helping my child. For having a therapy team using ABA therapy to overcome some challenges- after all- it’s the gold standard for autism!

How dare you be rude to them. How are you make me feel guilty for advocating for my son.

I never responded. I just couldn’t.

This family member has a positive relationship with my kids, and I didn’t want to ruin that for them, but boy was I mad!

Two weeks have passed.

We still have the same therapy team, and I hold my head up high when I talk about them. I don’t go out of my way to rub it in, but when it comes up in conversation, I talk about our accomplishments with pride.

Llama mama gang, don’t ever lose sight of the big picture.

Regardless of the situation, just remember that the opinion of one does not define who you are, your child, or your family are! Ignorance can often be an ugly monster!

Pictured below is my “destroyed” child, having the time of his life at the park today!

Written by, Lyndsay Gardner

Mama to an amazing son named Hudson with autism. Our life is a happy place of controlled chaos! Bio kids, foster kids, special needs kids, a husband, and a high maintenance pug. I wouldn’t change it for the world! Follow along with our crazy parenthood journey at the Llama Mama Gang on Facebook at The Llama Mama Gang!

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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