Posts Tagged ‘special needs siblings’
How to Treat a Child With Autism: Look to the Siblings
Happy Autism Awareness Month! I know the calendar has become saturated with bizarre days of observation, from National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, to International No Diet Day, to National Margarita Day (not mad about that one). But I happen to think a month to promote acceptance of people with autism and inspire a kinder world is worthwhile occasion. You probably know someone who’s autistic. Lucky you! I’ll always celebrate Autism Awareness Month because my littlest man, Rhys (pronounced “Reece,” like Reece Witherspoon), is autistic and very much deserves a month dedicated to…
Read MoreOur Family Has Come so Far
One of the things I am practicing lately is reflection. Specifically, reflecting on how much has changed over the years. And how far our family has come. See that boy on the right with the amazing smile and giant yellow egg? His name is Sawyer and he was 4 years old. He is 8 years old now. And this is one of my most favorite pictures of him. It was Easter morning. I remember that Easter vividly. I remember handpicking every item for my boy’s baskets. I remember hiding every…
Read MoreThe Questions They Ask Me
The Questions They Ask Me…See these two boys? They are almost exactly 2 years apart. Cooper is 10 and Sawyer is 8. They are like night and day when it comes to most things. My 8 year old asks me the most amazing questions. We have to be alone though. Sometimes he will ask me if his dad is around, but he will say, ‘Mom, can I tell you a whisper?’ But usually he prefers to ask when we are alone in the car or snuggling in bed. How is…
Read MoreThe Beauty of Learning About Differences
As a mother to an autistic boy, I find myself trying to educate often. Kids. Teens. Unknowing adults. People who stare. People with kind eyes and people who are afraid of differences. I encourage questions even. Why does he flap his arms? Why does he roll on the ground? Why doesn’t he talk? Will he live with you forever? Some of the questions are easy to answer. Some are harder. And honestly, some I do not know the answers too. I may never. The visible differences used to make me…
Read MoreThe Biggest Gift
At the park last night, one of these boys played with boys his own age. He went up the slide and scaled the jungle gym like an acrobat. One of these boys chased after the older boys. They tickled him and he loved the attention. He went down the slide a hundred times and said…’mommy watch this!’ The other boy felt the mulch with his fingers, went down the slide twice because his mom asked him too, and spent the majority of his time tapping the metal garbage can and…
Read MoreOur Sibling Journey Looks Different Than Theirs
My oldest daughter had a close friend growing up who’s mom was pregnant at the same time as me. The girls were around 11 at the time and both were excited to be getting baby sisters. After we each gave birth, about a month apart, we would compare how the babies were growing whenever we saw each other. I remember my daughter was much smaller than her daughter. As the months passed, her daughter crawled and then walked and formed words while mine didn’t. Mine drooled. A lot. Mine gained…
Read MoreSpring Break in Minnesota
People who follow me make a lot of assumptions about our family and these boys. It’s interesting, funny, even upsetting to read them. People assume that Cooper, and ultimately autism, is a hardship. People assume the younger two are neglected because they see Cooper get attention in a 4 minute video. I could go on and on. We are on a spring break two night vacation. Because flying isn’t an option for us we went to northern Minnesota. The day before we left it was 65 degrees. The day we…
Read MoreErase The Word
There are many things that you start to realize when becoming a mother to special needs children. You learn all in the ins and outs of your child. You learn how to survive from day to day. You learn all the official terms and acronyms…..IEP, BCBA, PCA, TSS, OT, PT, self-contained, inclusion, etc. You start to realize some things that were not even thought twice about, earlier in life. I started to see really quick how the world views people in the special needs community. I see how the world…
Read MoreIf Only My Parents Knew This
My mom and dad raised three children. My sister, Lauren, was the first-born, and then came my brother, Aaron, and lastly, me. My sister has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is a high functioning form of autism, diagnosed at the age of four. Like any daughter, there are things I wished my parents did differently. I wished they never got a divorce, I wished they worked together instead of spent their days fighting, and I wished they were able to take a step back from autism so that they could evaluate our…
Read MoreThere is so Much Beauty
I think about the beginning sometimes. When I first heard the word autism. It was in a lunch-and-learn at the nonprofit I worked at. I was eating a sandwich, minimally paying attention, when the woman started describing signs of autism in toddlers. As she ticked off a list of traits, I did everything I could to keep my cool. The only sign of my internal panic being the flush that turned my cheeks and neck a deep red. I could feel the heat radiating from my face. She was describing…
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