Posts Tagged ‘special needs siblings’
A Friday Smile
All three of my boys have fallen in love with random objects throughout their life. And also, slept with them. Cooper used to sleep with 8×10 photos of our family. And puzzles. And 12 blankets. Sawyer used to sleep with you swords and nerf guns. He also wore a swimsuit every day for over a year. His reasoning, he wanted to be ready to go swimming if someone asked. And Harbor? Well, he has been known to sleep with monster trucks, Nerf Guns, a hockey stick, shovels, bey blades, and…
Read More‘I’m Here Buddy’
Cooper has always reached for a hand to hold when we are in the community. But not just any hand. Typically mom or dad. He likes the comfort of us walking alongside him. Sometimes we lead. Sometimes he does. But he’s always an arms length away. We often refer to him as a little old man. Cautious. Careful. He points out ice and mud and dangerous terrain with a point and a gasp. He likes to lean in for hugs too. Which I soak up. On our walk tonight, my…
Read MoreOnly in My Dreams
Sometimes it hits me when I least expect it. I was sitting in front of my computer reading my son’s high school athletic Facebook group post. “Any parent of a boy or girl in grades 3-6 interested in volunteering as a water boy/girl for the varsity football team, please respond.” So I went to that imaginary place in my mind. I pictured my daughter on the sidelines holding the rack of water bottles proudly watching her brother and his teammates play football. She smiled excitedly as the whistle blew and…
Read MorePlease Teach Your Children About Diversity
Dear Mums, Dads and Caregivers, I want to ask you to do something. Can you look back and think if you’ve ever taught your children about diversity? About people’s differences…that not everyone’s the same? It can be race, disabilities, the homeless, religion and so much more. Have you had a conversation about how not everyone’s the same and how important it is to be accepting of that? When Lace was little, I worked in an accommodation house with adults with disabilities. I used to bring Lacey in and let her…
Read MoreWe Wanted More
Did you know that someone once told me that our third son, the one in the middle, was a replacement child for Cooper? I assume they wrote that comment to hurt me. Or to remind me what a crappy mom I am. Or maybe they were just angry and miserable. Who knows I guess. What a ridiculous statement though. A replacement child. I’m not sure why we would ever replace Cooper. He’s very much here. He’s 10 and is currently waiting on two movies from Amazon. This morning he asked…
Read MoreDear Boardman Board of Education, Which Kid Would Have Mattered to You?
Dear Boardman Board of Education, Which kid would have mattered to you? Which kid in your eyes would have made the staple to their head be classified as abuse? My fear is the incident in Boardman, Ohio is setting an example that abuse is only abuse when it happens to a certain kid. So, as a sibling to a brother with a disability, a parent of two boys, and a former special education teacher – I ask, which kid needs to have a note stapled to their head for it…
Read MoreHe Needs More Time
People always ask me how much my son Coops understands. I think they ask because he’s nonverbal and often it may appear to the untrained eye that he isn’t paying attention or comprehending. My answer is a lot. He understands so much. He is always listening. And when I don’t know the answer…I presume competence and encourage others around us to do the same. There is one thing though that I know he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand that his younger brother is growing up and will soon want his…
Read MoreMy Son Has Taught Me to Live in the Now
I do not have autism. I am not autistic. But my son is. And watching and learning from him has been one of the greatest gifts life has given me. He has taught me to slow down. He has taught me to prioritize. He has taught me what is important and what truly matters. He has even shown me the good in this world. And the bad that is out there. This is how he greets every member of our family after school. He doesn’t have words. Just actions and…
Read MoreI am Your Advocate
My Beautiful boys, You are worth the fight. I am sorry life is hard for you. That I have to fight so hard for you. It is not the fight I am sorry for, because I would fight for you everyday of my life willingly and proudly. I am sorry because if I do not fight for you, you would have much less then you have now. If I do not speak up and be your voice, then you would not be heard. If I sit silent you will be…
Read MoreThe Little Brother and the Big Brother
There is 8 years between these two. 10 and 2. The little brother and the big brother. I know the facts. The little ones spoken language passed up Cooper’s months ago. He has a hundred words. He uses full sentences. When the younger one leaves home, Cooper will be 26 years old. A grown man. The baby doesn’t know what autism is. Or even that on paper his older brother is nonverbal. They have never, not once, played a game together. Not in a traditional way. And their Dad and…
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