Posts Tagged ‘special needs siblings’
Brother, I don’t Understand Autism
I don’t understand you Cooper. And I really don’t understand autism. Do you know that I used to think autism was an actual thing. Like an object. Mom would say you have autism. And you’d get a cookie. Or get to have your Kindle at dinner. And I’d want autism too. Only, I didn’t have it. I was the different one. Mom and dad always say that they don’t have to worry about me. I guess because I don’t have autism. And I guess because I talked. And potty trained…
Read MoreAutism and Siblings…Now What?
Autism Awareness month has ended and we now have an official diagnosis…for the second time. Let me clarify. My son received a very early diagnosis thanks to my daughter. You see our girl had her difficulties in language development leading to early intervention services. Yet no autism diagnosis. We did the developmental doctor visit and left with a language developmental delay and sensory processing disorder as I was hugely pregnant with our son. Do I dare say relief? As our daughter’s language developed it was a breath of fresh air. …
Read MoreSiblings, But Really Two Only Children
I’m an only child. It’s a state of life that I know well, but have always wanted a sibling. Don’t get me wrong, there are many, many benefits of being an only child. And when speaking to those that aren’t, they’ll often “wish” they were one or talk about how frustrating their siblings are. The benefits are the obvious ones: you get all of the focus of your parents, you often get more material things, you don’t have to share, there is very little fighting as there’s no one to…
Read MoreA Letter to the Sisters of my Special Needs Sons
My darling girls, Please forgive me. Valentine’s Day came and went without a special something from me. Yes, I sent you a text with my favorite bitmojis (you know my obsession with them), but that was not my plan when the month started and it is far less than either of you deserve. As a society, we devote each month to some type of awareness. In April I put my game face on and try to cheerlead autism but usually by the second week that enthusiasm has fizzled and the…
Read MoreAre you Done?
I had three babies in three years. Shortly after I had my last baby people began to ask, “Are you done?” Sometimes kidding and sometimes serious, but it always felt like a punch in the gut. My dream was four or five children, but after Jackson’s diagnosis and three babies, four or five was just not in the cards for us. I’m finally accepting that we are done, and I’m ok with that. Now when I think about my family I think of our Jackson boy. Our four year old…
Read MoreWe’re Having Fun and We’re Doing It Together
Hear me out… This phrase is our family’s unofficial motto. When you live with severe autism you work so hard every day to make even incremental progress. When you’re at the end of your short rope and sweating from the preparation and execution of the simplest task to enjoy a teensy slice of normal, you can hardly believe it all came together for one shining moment. An autism diagnosis is like having the wind knocked out of you. You know you’re likely to take a deep breath again, but when?…
Read MoreYou are so Lucky
So often we forget the power of our words. We will say something and not realize that what we said could have a lasting impression on someone. Positive or negative. I received notification earlier this week that Sawyer’s class enjoyed a lesson from the school’s autism program. Each student had the opportunity to experience what it is like for some students to learn when there are constant distractions affecting their five senses. As soon as I read the message I was curious. Sawyer lives autism. It is his everyday life.…
Read MoreWhat About After Forever Mom?
Last night I took Sawyer to pick out gift bag goodies for his birthday party. He had so much to say. Riding in the car produces some of my favorite memories with Sawyer. ‘Which is more mom? 16 or 14?’ 16 bud. ‘What is 6 plus 4? It’s 10 mom. How did you not know that?’ I did know that Sawyer. You didn’t let me answer. ‘What friends are coming to my birthday party on Saturday? Wait, let me say their names.’ ‘Lucas, Derek, Braden, Kellen….pause. Mom, did you know…
Read MoreThe Dark Place
I wanted to share something that any Autism parent will understand. It is a place that we all have been. It’s called the dark place. I go there at night when everyone is asleep. It’s when the reality and fears set in of being a parent to a special needs child. The what will happen when I’m gone place. The how will they be able to have a life of their own and build a meaningful and reciprocal relationship place. The who will care for them when I’m not here…
Read MoreSleep in my Room Brother
A month or so before Harbor was born, Cooper and Sawyer both slept in our room. We had just moved to a new house a few months before. Both boys could sense the baby was coming. And they seemed to be trying to soak up as much mama snuggle time as they could. Of course I would like to say they both started out the night in their own rooms and beds. At least that was the intention every day as Jamie and I chugged coffee after a crowded night…
Read More