Is This Our Forever?

Is this our forever? A good friend recently asked me what kinds of things my son Leo was interested in these days?  “Toy Story, like always,” I responded, chuckling at the thought of how often I’d responded similarly over the years. For as long as I can remember, Leo has been transfixed by the popular series of films; his love for Sheriff Woody, Buzz, Andy, and the rest of the Pixar gang, have stood the test of time, resulting in a most impressive collection of Toy Story merchandise; from figurines,…

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Only in My Dreams

Sometimes it hits me when I least expect it.  I was sitting in front of my computer reading my son’s high school athletic Facebook group post.  “Any parent of a boy or girl in grades 3-6 interested in volunteering as a water boy/girl for the varsity football team, please respond.”  So I went to that imaginary place in my mind. I pictured my daughter on the sidelines holding the rack of water bottles proudly watching her brother and his teammates play football.  She smiled excitedly as the whistle blew and…

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Do You See Us?

Do you see us? We are the parents who have always parented in an altered universe, and now we are  being asked to live in yet another altered universe with no end in sight.  Do you see us? We are the parents whose children highly depend on structure and routine to feel  secure and safe and less anxious.  We are the ones who need a multitude of people to support our child’s ability to  learn, to play, to speak, to toilet, to eat, to walk, and to participate in the…

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My Husband, We are Perfectly Imperfect

My Husband. I love him with all my heart. Every fiber of my being.  I have loved him since I was 16 years old.  I don’t really know anything else.  And to be honest, sometimes I don’t even like him.  We don’t see eye to eye on many things. We fight a lot. He doesn’t think the the things I think are important matter. At all.  And frankly, it irritates me.  Can’t he pretend to go along?  He will humor me, but still, not happily.  We have never had a…

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Please Teach Your Children About Diversity

Dear Mums, Dads and Caregivers, I want to ask you to do something. Can you look back and think if you’ve ever taught your children about diversity? About people’s differences…that not everyone’s the same? It can be race, disabilities, the homeless, religion and so much more. Have you had a conversation about how not everyone’s the same and how important it is to be accepting of that? When Lace was little, I worked in an accommodation house with adults with disabilities. I used to bring Lacey in and let her…

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Waiting For Sister

Our fourth baby is due in 93 days. Not that I’m counting or anything. Although pregnancy in your late 30’s during a pandemic and a Minnesota winter with three wild boys is no joke. I’m trying to enjoy it. And I am. But tick tock over here. Yesterday, as I was attempting to sneak a few minutes of alone time midday, my two older boys made their way into my room. They always find me. Sawyer pulled up a pillow and a blanket next to me and began watching a…

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Our Silent Journey

My sweet boy, We just got back from a car ride. We do that sometimes. You and me. We used to ride around to help you calm down. A much needed break for both of us to reset. Now we drive around and hunt for trains. Not a lot has changed over the years except now you are ten. And you can buckle your own seatbelt. A skill we worked on for years. A skill that you are incredibly proud of. We still ride mostly in silence. When you were…

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We Wanted More

Did you know that someone once told me that our third son, the one in the middle, was a replacement child for Cooper? I assume they wrote that comment to hurt me. Or to remind me what a crappy mom I am. Or maybe they were just angry and miserable. Who knows I guess. What a ridiculous statement though. A replacement child. I’m not sure why we would ever replace Cooper. He’s very much here. He’s 10 and is currently waiting on two movies from Amazon. This morning he asked…

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The World Needs Your Story

Here are 12 of the now nearly 100 members of Finding Cooper’s Voice Blog Squad. Daily they inspire, advocate, educate, and give hope to others going through the special needs life. Each of them has started either a blog and/or social media channels to help advocate. It has been amazing watching each of them grow and help others simply by sharing their story. Have a blog or social channels that’s focused on advocacy? Come join us! Here’s how: 1. Join Coop’s Troops: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/772295979579532/ 2. Join Coop’s Troop Blog Squad Remember,…

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Dear Anxiety

Dear anxiety, You and me need to have a talk. Because this co-existing crap isn’t working anymore. We need to set up some rules. You have been with my son since birth, although, like his autism, we didn’t know until much later. You are a thief. A thief of joy, of calm, of growth. His and ours. I used to think of you as a monster. A loud, huge, lumbering monster coming right at us. Once I learned more about you, I could see you plain as day. You didn’t…

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