Seeing Autism Through Your Eyes

I don’t think about autism really. Not anymore. Or about my son being different than his peers. He doesn’t have a label at home. Or even a diagnosis. We don’t speak in clinical talk or point out how he is different from other 10 year old boys. He is Cooper. He is not autistic Cooper. He is not nonverbal Cooper. He is himself. Perfectly made and one of my three boys. I think that’s the beautiful part that comes with settling into a lifelong diagnosis. In the beginning, the differences…

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The Gift of Sight

When I used to think about autism, back when the word meant nothing to us, and eventually when our son was first diagnosed, I used to think about the differences. Autism meant he would be different. And that made me so scared for him. Because I knew the world could be unkind. I would hyper focus at 3 am or while in the shower on all the ‘nevers.’ The differences. The worries that would drop me to my knees. He may never talk. He may never ride a bike. He…

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Keep Working on Independence

See that little one there? The one with chocolate on his face and holding two nerf guns? He is 2 years old and came out of the womb independent. His favorite thing to say is…‘I do it mama. I do it.’ He needs help from no one. My now 8 year old was the same way. Cooper, who was diagnosed with autism at age 3, was always the opposite. He’s never, to this day, had any desire to ‘do it himself.’ He’s very happy and content having mom and dad…

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Sweet Signs

A few minutes ago, Sawyer handed Cooper something and Cooper immediately signed ‘thank you’ to him. Sawyer responded with…’you’re welcome buddy.’ It was such a sweet exchange. When Cooper was a toddler, and we realized his speech was not developing, we focused on sign language. He picked up on some. ‘No, more, help, all done, please, and thank you.’ But he plateaued after those. He had no interest in learning any other ones. I think it’s because us hands wouldn’t cooperate. Sign language takes fine motor skills that he didn’t…

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Why I Am Afraid

I had a terrible dream the other night. My son Jack was walking up our driveway. He was crying—sobbing, actually—but he couldn’t tell me what was wrong.  I ran to him and asked him over and over again what happened. He just stood there, towering over me, taking deep gulps of air as tears streamed down his face. He was so distraught. And in my dream, I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t reach him. When I woke up, my heart was racing. I was sweating, and yet I felt a…

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When You Count Your Blessings Do You Count Autism?

We are all too familiar with many of the struggles and negative aspects of Autism. Not only do we live these challenges every day, but we share them. Because they are the hard, the nitty gritty that we need to talk about..to educate, to make people aware and to foster understanding. My son, Stalen was diagnosed on the spectrum when he was 21 months old. He is almost 6 and non-verbal. Autism is not only a part of my son’s identity, it contributes to making him the amazing little boy…

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Our Sibling Journey Looks Different Than Theirs

My oldest daughter had a close friend growing up who’s mom was pregnant at the same time as me. The girls were around 11 at the time and both were excited to be getting baby sisters. After we each gave birth, about a month apart, we would compare how the babies were growing whenever we saw each other. I remember my daughter was much smaller than her daughter. As the months passed, her daughter crawled and then walked and formed words while mine didn’t. Mine drooled. A lot. Mine gained…

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Why Autism Awareness Matters to Me

Why is Autism awareness important? There are many reasons, but to me there is one that is most important. I am the mom to a seven-year-old little boy who happens to be autistic. Before my son, I had no idea what autism was. Sure… I had heard of it, here and there, but I couldn’t tell you what it meant. I wouldn’t have seen the signs in a stranger. When my son’s autism was discovered, everything suddenly changed. I began researching and learning everything I could. The truth is you…

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A Love Note to My Wife

Autism is hard! Hard for the diagnosed individual, the siblings, the family and on a marriage. When we said “I do” we never expected to embark on an autism journey and we definitely didn’t envision the vows “in sickness and in health” would apply to our unborn child. Autism has challenged our marriage in ways we could never imagine and it has enriched our marriage in ways nothing else could.  I could share some of the many autism moments, experiences, pitfalls, disappointments, lessons, achievements, challenges, and wins that got us…

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The Playground can be Isolating for a Special Needs Parent

If you live in a city apartment and don’t have your own backyard, the playground is THE place for kids to burn some energy and let off steam. Every other day we pack cookies, water, and a soccer ball and head to my most feared opponent. The park is packed with laughing children. Parents stand in groups and exchange the latest neighborhood gossip. Some have made themselves comfortable on carefully arranged picnic blankets, setting up a snack buffet that could feed half of the city. Others sit in the sand…

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