How Mothers of Handicapped Children are Chosen

I often wonder why my son has autism. Why him? Why me? Why our family? There are nights where I’ll agonize over everything I did when I was pregnant. There are days when I’ll agonize over whether I should be doing more. Some days I’ll dwell. Some days I won’t. I call this the roller coaster of special needs parenting. And some days, I just want to read a beautiful poem like this one by Erma Bombeck. Enjoy. The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck Most women become mothers by accident,…

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When your Search for Answers Brings Sadness

Hey friends. First, a huge thank you to everyone that emailed, commented and messaged me after my sad post a few nights ago. I read every word. Second, here is the video I know many of you have been waiting for. A few days ago we took our son Cooper for an appointment at the Mayo Clinic. This was the first of eight appointments over the next couple of months. It’s a big deal in our world. I finally found a doctor that will look at Cooper’s whole case….not just…

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The Quest for Balance in the Midst of Chronic Chaos

Isolation. Special needs parenting is isolating for me. I know it’s my deal. I choose to give my daughter all I have. But I am also just doing what I know to do. I am admittedly exhausted. Burnt out even. People always ask, ‘How is Lexie doing?’ Sometimes, I really just wish they would ask how I am doing. With all of her multiple diagnoses and challenges in many ways she is doing better then her Mama. What do I do everyday? I cook because providing nutritious, delicious food is…

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I am my Autistic Son’s Person

I am my seven year old autistic son’s person. I have been since the day he was born. He looks for me in a crowd. He seeks me out in our home. He demands me. He is always touching me. If he is wandering he demands that I am the person that follows behind. If I take a break to relax than he is clinging to me until I get up. And until recently he never developed relationships with other people. He didn’t see the value. People in our lives…

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This is My Life

Sometimes I still can’t believe that this is my life.  My son is the one in whatever the number is now.  I am that mom.  That is our family.  I still honestly believe he will surprise us all.  He’ll be the one you hear about. The one where when they’re older you’d never know.  I am not ashamed of my son, nor his disability. It is a part of him and makes him who he is.  But what I wouldn’t give to just make things a little easier for him. …

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To My Son with Autism: I’m Sorry Kid

Dear Son, I’m writing you this letter, a letter that I know you will most likely never read, mainly because I will probably hide it from you. I have so much that I want to tell you, but with you being only 7 years-old, I feel like this may be too much for you, so instead, I will share it with other parents, who, hopefully, will understand. There are things that, if I had the power, I would change to make your life better. But my job isn’t to change…

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9 Big Mistakes Parents of Autistic Children Can Avoid

I often think of my son’s autism as a journey. A journey that not only he is on, but our family as well. A journey with many, many challenges. And holes and cliffs. And of course it’s slippery.  The hills have jagged rocks and most of the time I feel like I am hanging on for dear life. There is no safety harness or map. I typically don’t know if I am even going in the right direction. And perhaps at times I fear that I might be going backwards.…

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A Letter To My Son Noah

To my Noah-bug, “Sometimes I just stop and thank God, for having different plans for me than I had for myself. I have been blessed with a miracle.” Ten years ago, a sandy blonde hair, slate grey eyed six pound thirteen ounce bundle of all boy was born. Little did I know I was going to be thrown into a ride on a roller coaster I would have never expected. I thought having a child at 16 was one for the books through those moments and growing up way too…

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Does Parenting A Child With Special Needs Get Easier As They Age?

Have you ever wondered that? I used to all the time. I would be at a particularly low point in our Autism journey and I would ask that question to my mom or a friend or a doctor. And no one would tell me the truth. I just needed to hear if it was going to get easier or get harder. I needed an honest answer. The problem was I was asking the wrong people. I’m not surprised I get asked this question every day by parents of newly diagnosed…

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The Conversations Missed

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my son talking. Or not talking. I want you to know that on the surface I’m okay with having a nonverbal son. And by okay I mean I can picture a future where my adult son does not speak to me. I don’t cry about it anymore. I haven’t for years. It wasn’t fair to him or me. I had to move on. I rarely dwell. I am even excited about his Speech Device and am hopeful that one day he will use…

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