Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
It Happened This Year…I Got a Miracle
It happened this year… I got a Christmas miracle! When you have a kiddo with autism, or delays of any kind, there’s this period of grace. It’s the season of life where adults (for the most part) have or gain some knowledge. It’s the season of life where older kiddos are curious and learn something new. It’s the season of life where kiddos of the same age and younger don’t have a clue. At family gatherings, kiddos just play. Side by side, sometimes joining in, most often not. Fun is…
Read MoreMy Daughter, I See You
Kylie, My Daughter, In a few weeks, you’re turning 10. Oh, baby girl, if I could only somehow let you see yourself through my eyes, you would understand how the years pass so quickly. Just yesterday, I was snuggling you up to my chest, breathing in your new baby smell. Then I blinked and before me stood YOU: an opinionated, passionate, kind, witty girl. When you were a toddler, I remember you walking confidently into Sunday School. You never cried. You simply trusted us to always be there for you,…
Read MoreRealizing How it Should Be…
I had one of those ‘this is how it should be’ parenting moments this morning. I was able to bring my four-year-old to preschool today. We weren’t in a hurry and chatted as we drove. When we arrived, we walked in together. He took off his boots, hung up his bag and jacket and went and sat down and played. I spoke with his teacher, looked at his artwork and so on. And then I left. Sounds so simple, right? I’ve never had an experience like that with my autistic…
Read MoreThe Scary Reality of Forever as a Special Needs Parent
The idea of forever is very different when you have a child with special needs. Will my child ever living on their own? Will they have self care? There are times when I will look at my son and think, ‘this might be okay.’ He might learn to understand safety. He might learn to communicate his wants and needs. He might, maybe someday, be able to stay home alone. But in all honesty, the future is unknown. I don’t know if these things will ever happen. And as parents we…
Read MoreSometimes, Numbers Do Lie
Dear Holden, Your mama is a numbers person. As are you! I have “data” in my work title and I thrive on knowing things through their relationship to others. So when I heard that you were “on the spectrum” I did not find that explanation to be terribly satisfactory. Where, exactly, on the spectrum were you? I had this new information about you and yet it seemed to tell me absolutely nothing. So, I went looking for numbers and, honey, what I found was not good. An estimated 75-85 percent…
Read MoreOn Realizing Your Child Doesn’t Enjoy What Other Kids Enjoy
“Did you pack the toothbrushes?” When we met each other’s eyes we realized neither of us had. This sentence means something different for our in family. Our toothbrushes were in fact tucked away neatly into a side pocket of my bag. But we have a separate grouping of toothbrushes. A special one, just for our son Cormac. It started small. When Cormac was first diagnosed at 18 months he exhibited many sensory seeking behaviors and had not yet delved in the graces of therapy or Early Intervention. He was chewing…
Read MoreAdopting Autism: The Ups and Downs
I have two kids; a two-year-old little girl and a 14-year-old stepson. My Stepson has autism. His name is Corey. Corey is on the moderate side of the spectrum. Corey’s mother passed away two years ago; I’m the closest thing to a mother he’ll ever have. Adopting Autism I guess I’m kind of jealous of his mom. From everything I know, she was an amazing, one-of-a-kind woman. I could never fill her size-11 shoes. But I try every day. I try to memorize the acronyms for all his different doctors…
Read More13 Steps to Better Self Care
Self Care. Those two dreaded words. As a special needs mama, self care is the first thing to go when I feel sad. My son doesn’t talk. He doesn’t go to school. He doesn’t play. He doesn’t interact with children. He doesn’t play a sport or ride a bike. He doesn’t read. He doesn’t write. We rarely leave our house. We more so just live in his autistic world. And with that life comes a cycle of grief. The not knowing is hard. The knowing is hard. The accepting is…
Read MoreA Time Before Autism
I had a rare hour of silence from autism today and I let myself get lost in old photographs. Oh, the cuteness of Cooper. He’s always been beautiful. Right from day one. So beautiful in fact that many people struggled to believe something was wrong. As I scrolled back through the years I felt so many emotions. Before Sawyer. Before the therapies. Before the diagnosis. Before we knew. Cooper’s beautiful smile in every picture. As the photos got older I started to recognize myself. There I was. Smiling holding Cooper.…
Read MoreToday, Self Care is…
Today, self care is leaving work early to pick up Sawyer from preschool and waiting with him for five minutes while he examined a crack in the sidewalk. Which he was sure was a secret path to the middle of the earth. As I tried to rush him along he told me, ‘NO MAMA. I am doing science.’ So of course, I squatted down beside him, in the cold and drizzle, and looked for the center of the earth. Self care is getting home in the daylight and walking my…
Read More