Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Sometimes I Wish It Wasn’t So Hard
My autism “ah-ha” moment came when my youngest son was six years old. He was diagnosed at age four with moderate to severe autism and a global delay. I was recently a single mom of the three boys, with two of them on the autism spectrum. My one son however was high functioning and steadily progressing. That was not the case with my middle son though and it was a very hard pill to swallow. We had many medical professional tells us that we needed to focus on quality of…
Read MoreTo My Son’s First Friend…
To my sons first friend, I’m not sure that you know what you mean to me. I have watched you and my boy, for months now. I have seen the way you tend to him. Not in a, here I’ll help you because you’re special needs…kind of way. But a, you’re my friend and I want to be with you…kind of way. I have seen the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you. I have watched you get him to do things, that others can’t.…
Read MoreMy Partner, I’m Sorry Autism Changed Me
Jamie, I’ve been thinking about when we first got married. How young we were. We were so unbelievably happy. We had a little house. We had jobs we liked. We had so many friends. We had two puppies. We referred to each other as mom and dad when referencing the dogs. We were that couple. But most importantly, we knew exactly who we were. We had identities and hobbies. We weren’t defined by anything that we didn’t want to be defined by. Some days, I swear you would just stare…
Read MoreObservations From an Autism Mom
Off he went in a flash in the big open gym. He darted away not to play with other kids at the birthday party, but instead to play with a curtain on the far right side of the room that separates the small space from the big gym. He happily pulled the curtain open and closed it again. Over and over. He then darted off to throw a basketball in the hoop. He laughed as he picked up the ball and threw it in. Within a few seconds, he was…
Read MoreI Don’t Mind Being Your Mom
As a mom of a child with autism, I often feel burnt out, disconnected and stressed. I often feel like a shell of who I used to be. I feel like someone who’s just struggling to make everyday a good day, even when the dark cloud looming over me is incredibly heavy. I’m not fun anymore. I’m rarely spontaneous or enjoyable to be around. I’m not as positive as I used to be and I don’t always see the good in the things that should bring me joy. I feel…
Read MoreBuilding Your Special Needs Mom Tribe
How do you build your mom tribe? What a question right? Making friends after 30 feels impossible. And then add in a child with special needs and it feels even more impossible. You can’t leave your house. You are perceptually exhausted. No one you know has a child with special needs. It feels like you can’t relate to anyone anymore. I get it. Take a listen as I discuss why it is hard to find friendships and maintain them when you have a child with special needs and how I…
Read MoreIs Letting Go the Key to Enjoying this Journey?
With the flip of a page our Speech therapist asked our son Jojo simple questions as part of an assessment update. The first ones he nailed, naming objects like girl, ball and horse. Then it was, point to the spotty dog IN the box, the teddy UNDER the bed, the dolly with PINK pants. With each line of questions the answers were less correct. These simple questions, that a three year old would know, yet my boy who is turning five next birthday can’t answer. The therapist closed the book…
Read MoreYou Got A Friend In Me
Exactly one year after we received our oldest son’s diagnosis of autism, the four of us are on our way to celebrate a cousin’s birthday. It’s a children’s birthday party, and I’m terrified. Weeks before I had tried to insist to the mother that the dates that were picked wouldn’t work for us, but I was just trying to shield my child. Now here we are, parked in front of their house. I’m always anxious when we stray from our routine, or should I say from Zachary’s routine. As a…
Read MoreWhen a Doctor Told Me I Wasn’t a Terrible Mother
So, here’s a thing that happened the other day. I took my son Ivan to the dermatologist to have a look at his moles. We have a history of melanoma in the family and it seemed like the responsible thing to do. Are moles Ivan’s biggest challenge or at the top of our medical list? Heck no! Ivan is totally blind, nonverbal, in a wheelchair and he has uncontrolled epilepsy resulting in multiple seizures a day. We see about a dozen different specialists and dermatology is definitely at the very…
Read MoreThe Secret World of Autism
I am often asked to write about autism. Especially in preparation for Autism Awareness Month. Prior to my son’s diagnosis, I never knew this month even existed. That’s how it typically goes I guess. People don’t pay attention until it’s their life. I get it. That was me pre-autism. Now, my whole world is an Autism Awareness Month. When I am asked to write about autism I struggle with finding the right words. Autism makes up a million different stories of hope, love, adversity, struggles and beauty. How do I…
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