My Son, You are Home to Me

I know you are home Cooper. Because you are always home. If you aren’t at school, you are here. You like being here. Home is your whole entire world. You don’t have play dates. You don’t have sports. There is no one picking you up to take you somewhere special. It doesn’t work like that in our world. Although I can name quite a few people that would literally drop everything to take you somewhere if you ever asked. You are comfortable here. You are safe here. There are no…

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Suddenly, We Hoped for a Diagnosis of Down Syndrome

Life can throw you curveballs. Things can change in an instant and take your life in a direction that you never expected. My second pregnancy was riddled with endless nausea. Life was hectic, and there wasn’t time to stop – I worked full time (I managed to drive to work while vomiting in a plastic bag), and had an energetic one-year old. My belly was much larger this time around also. At my 34th week OB visit, the doc mentioned I was measuring as if I were two weeks overdue,…

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Maybe I Just Want You to Understand Autism

It is 5 am at my house. I am up to get a head start on my day, catch an early yoga class. OK not really. It is not that evolved, progressive or interesting. I am up because my son woke up at 3 am. He woke up giggling and has been playing his keyboard on repeat. He has been running up and down the halls, flicking lights on and off, laughing, giggling and playing like it is the middle of the day. He is happy; this makes it feel…

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Releasing MY Own Doubts and Fears

I stood there sobbing as Ethan stared at me, wondering what was wrong. “Mom why are you crying?” I couldn’t answer. The tears just rolled down my face as the illumination of another glimmer of possibility, of hope, burst through the room like a ray of sunshine bursting through the clouds. “Mom what’s wrong? You’re making me uncomfortable,” Ethan said in his funny quirky, humorous way. I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. He always knows just what to say to make me laugh and smile. I’m not only…

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My Girl Found in the Creek

It could have ended with me on the news as the grieving mother. It didn’t…but it could have. And sometimes the “could have” is painful too. Whoo-hoo! I was out of town on a girls’ weekend where I could finally relax and not think about autism. The second night, I called my husband, Greg, to see how things were going. He sounded a little down, but that was to be expected since he was in charge of chasing our three young kids around for a few days. “Ha!” I selfishly…

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I Can’t Turn Off The Worry

In my recent viral video, backlash came over several topics. One that surprised me the most was the anger over me describing how having an autistic child has affected my mental health. How the worry over his safety and his future has changed everything. I had no idea that would anger people. It’s a normal conversation topic whenever I get together with other moms who have children with special needs. We talk about the stress, anxiety, migraines, ulcers. We complain about how our sleep is affected. Our sanity. We joke…

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What Will Autism Look Like For My Son As He Gets Older

When my son Cody was diagnosed at the early age of 17 months, he was a quirky little guy with high energy but somewhat aloof and not really “autistic” looking, I guess.  As Cody grew older his disability was much more evident and it’s been hard. I remember thinking I felt like I had to explain why Cody was acting in a certain way or almost apologizing for him being too loud or disruptive. When Cody was little and having a meltdown he just looked like he was a young…

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Our First Steps on a Journey that Continues Today

People often ask me if I knew my son had autism when he was an infant. The answer is no. There were, however, all these little clues that he was different from his brother. Little to no eye contact, not responding to his name, and not smiling when myself or someone else would smile at him. But, they were all just out of my awareness and the complete picture of what we would face in the coming months was not yet clear. I started to question things near Finn’s first…

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The Start of the Long Road to Acceptance

Today, I watched my four year old Florence at one of her school performances. As I stood watching her dance and sing – coyly beaming at me every now and then – I felt that old familiar feeling rise. It’s bittersweet. See as I watch my girl perform I cannot help think of my son. Connor is three. He was diagnosed just before his third birthday with ASC. Connor has the type of autism that you cannot miss. You know the loud, in your face and challenging type. Introverted he…

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A Super Cooper Update (Video)

Hi friends! Here is a good ole fashioned Super Cooper and Kate update. We haven’t done one in a while! Cooper is healthy, happy, sleeping and working on many different skills in ABA. He’s specifically working on pairing two sounds together! I want people to know that yes, I get caught up in the struggles that go hand-in-hand with parenting. And especially parenting a child with special needs. But, what matters most, is my son’s happiness. And this kid treats every day like it’s the best day of his life.…

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