Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
I Sorry I Did That
We had a few years as a family that were extremely difficult. It used to make me cry any time I talked about it, so I usually didn’t. Leland’s toddler years were rough. I don’t mean in the terrible twos kind of way. It was more like non-stop screaming, kicking, growling, hitting, with no words kind of way. My husband and I spent countless hours researching and trying different supplements, therapies, and such. We were desperate for anything that would help. We basically stopped going places or doing things. We…
Read MoreFive Years…Thank You Village
When my son was born I kept hearing the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child”. I never understood it until my son was diagnosed with autism. When we finally heard the words, “Your son has autism spectrum disorder” from the doctor, I had to text my family because I knew I couldn’t get through a conversation without bursting into tears. Even though we knew he had it, it isn’t real until you hear it from the doctor. The next day my parents came over and the first…
Read MoreA Disorderly Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stimming, still this mom pouts;Her stockings were flung to the floor without care,In hopes this year’s Christmas Day stress she can bear; The child was nestled all snug in mom’s bed (sigh),While visions of numerous wine glasses danced in her head;She wonders who invented toy packaging and thinks he needs a slap,Here comes the cursing, and her cleanest word is “Crap!” As the sound of her tearing through plastic makes a huge clatter,She prays no child wakes…
Read MoreA Letter to my Son on his 9th Birthday…
My sweet boy, today is your birthday. 9 years old. I know it sounds silly, but I almost can’t believe it. All moms say that I suppose. But with you, it’s true. Time in our world is different. Fast. Then slow. Then backwards. Even upside down. It has even stopped. Man those were some tough years. But you and I both know that age is just a number. And milestones are just another checklist we don’t pay any attention too. Because you my son, are different. Perfectly, amazingly different. You…
Read MoreMom, Dad, You have not Failed
I had the honor of meeting with a doctor today. A very important doctor. I was telling him all about my Cooper. What we’ve been through. I started at the beginning. He didn’t sleep. Not ever. Everyone told me it would get better. They said I was exaggerating. Only I knew I wasn’t. I told him it took Cooper six years to sleep through the night. And even today, it’s still a struggle. I told him about the burst ear drums. One after another. How no doctor would get close…
Read MoreYou will Never Understand
To the mom in the grocery store, who stares while my child is screaming, and your child is calmly walking alongside of you…you will never understand. What you don’t see, is that he has sensory processing issues, and he is overstimulated. To the doctor, that says “He will be fine, it’s just a speech delay.” You will never understand. I knew at my child’s one year checkup that something was different. But, you shrugged it off. To the acquaintance that says “Oh, so he is high functioning…he will probably grow…
Read MoreIt Was Against the Health Policy
Today, we went to the library. It’s the same library I used to visit as a child. I’ve taken the boys several times in the hope of instilling a love of reading. Milo, my eight-year-old son with autism, was having a difficult time — nothing new — but I was taking care of things. I sat with him at a table in a corner of the children’s section while my six-year-old son, Linus, selected books nearby. Just seconds after I snapped this picture, a librarian approached us. I looked up…
Read MoreFriend, Take the Picture
I posted these family pictures on my personal page recently. On the caption, I impulsively made the statement, “I’m not sure why we waited seven years to make these happen”. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I said that. Because after reflecting, I know exactly why it took so long. I didn’t take the pictures because things started out hard and I forgot how to breathe. Jackson’s stroke. Then carefully weaning the anti-seizure meds for months. The waiting on the next round of blood work to know if…
Read MoreA Bittersweet Sixteenth Birthday
My son Brian’s birthday is next week. 16 years. 16 love-filled anxiety ridden years. 16 years that I could never have predicted in my most worrisome of scenarios, but the 16 years I’ve grown the most in my life. Some times you need knocked around to know what you are made of and knocked around is exactly how I feel as we turn the calendar to Brian’s birthday month. Brian’s birthday, 12-12, is the most bittersweet day of the year for me. It is more meaningful than any holiday, anniversary, or…
Read MoreHe Must Be Outgrowing It and Other Things Not To Say
One of the challenging parts of high functioning autism is the way its seen and understood by the outside world. Most of the time the child’s diagnosis is not immediately apparent to the people they encounter. You may notice a speech delay, some difficulty with communication and social situations, lack of social comfort, sensory issues, short attention spans, narrow interests, and being prone to tantrums or meltdowns, just to name a few. Every child on the spectrum is different from the next and should not be compared just because you…
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