Posts Tagged ‘special needs family’
A Lesson We All Need to Learn
I’m at this point in my life, silly as it may sound, where I try to figure out the lesson when things happen. What did I learn from this? How can I do better next time? Can I help in anyway? And so on. This morning I woke up to an adult woman making fun of my son’s haircut. Which is strange. I mean, she’s an adult. A mother. She can type and speak. My son is ten. The comment didn’t need to be shared. It was not necessary. What…
Read MoreComplicated Beauty
One of the things I’ve learned as I’ve aged is that there is more than one way to look at something. Most things are complicated. Intricate I guess. They aren’t simple. I’ve even learned that my heart and mind can feel differently too. As if at odds with each other. I just took my oldest and youngest sons to the park. Our park. The one place where we can move comfortably without fear of judgement of the boy who moves and communicates and thinks differently. It’s our favorite place. On…
Read MoreThe Special Mother
Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. “This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia” “This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew” “This one gets a son. The Patron saint…..give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity” Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her…
Read MoreAn Amazing Gift
See that man on the left there? He stopped by our home today to do business with Cooper’s dad. When he walked in…Cooper gasped. And pointed. And waved. Now knowing my sweet boy, I know that he will continue to wave until said person waves back. Sometimes, people don’t notice him because he is unable to speak. Or they are busy. Or they get uncomfortable by the bigger ten year old boy waving so intently. I’ve seen it all. So, I often gently say…‘this is Cooper and he is autistic.…
Read MoreI See You Mama, But Do You See Me?
Dear mama with normal children, “Normal? What is normal?” you might be asking. “Is that even politically correct?” Honestly, I’m not sure because I’m tired. And I don’t spend my free time on political jargon. And I definitely don’t sleep well. And most of my waking hours, I’m caring for someone else or finding resources that will hopefully make our life a little bit easier someday. Someday…a day that feels more and more like a unicorn lately. You see, I’m a special needs mama to a 16-year-old son. And no,…
Read MoreUnlocking Your Voice
My Dearest Daughter Sloane, Last night I had a dream about you. I had a dream that I went to your room to wake you up, and you sat up in your bed, and you said to me in the sweetest voice, “Mom, I have so much to tell you, and I don’t know how this is happening.” I woke up out of breath, and I don’t remember anything else. You’ve had a hard few days. Your struggles have been heavy. I’ve needed to know so many things only you…
Read MoreThe Person
I never wanted to be The Person. You know, The Person—the one in a marriage who handles all the kid stuff, like changing the diapers and checking the homework folder and buying shoes. (The Person is also known as the Default Parent, The Micromanager, or the Helicopter Mom.) I did pretty well for the first year I was a mother. Our oldest son Joey was born and, for the most part, my husband Joe and I handled the responsibility of taking care of a new baby fairly equally. I didn’t care how he swaddled him,…
Read MoreA Story That Changed My Life
A few weeks ago I had the honor of chatting with Peri of Not Raingirl. Peri is one of my most favorite humans on this earth. She is also an autism self advocate. She was diagnosed as a young girl and now shares her memories, learnings, and feelings with the world. Essentially, she is a guidepost for parents who want to listen and learn. When we spoke last, she told me a story that changed my life as a mother to an autistic child. In the story, she was referencing…
Read MoreOur Family was Complete
My son was born on July 31st, 2015 along with his twin sister Aria. They were perfect and they were mine! It was one of the happiest days of my life. I waited so long to become a mother. Me and my husband had many losses until this pregnancy. I had never felt such joy and happiness. The feeling was incredible. I never realized I could love a person this much until this day. I couldn’t help but think of our future and how bright it would be with these…
Read MoreThe Best Birthday Gift
This morning I walked downstairs to my sweet boy sitting on the couch, surrounded by his treasures. He waved. It was quick though. He was very busy watching his shows. He takes his show watching very serious. Especially on weekend mornings. ‘Cooper, it’s mom’s birthday today!’ I said. Now I don’t know what I expected. Not words of course. But a cheer. A smile. A gasp. But nothing. He looked back down. It stung. Like a tiny bee sting or a poke in the side. But the pain is duller…
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