Posts Tagged ‘Siblings’
Can a Baby Heal?
One of the unique parts of autism that I try to share on this page is the relationship Cooper has with his brothers. I’m often asked, ‘Do they play together?’ ‘Do they acknowledge each other?’ ‘What is their relationship like?’ The answer was no, no and non existent. For a lot of years it was so puzzling. If I was to describe it I would say that Cooper quite literally thought he was an only child for the first five years of his life. He was two years old when…
Read MoreI’m not Sorry
Many times I have heard and read about how parents of children on the autism spectrum absolutely hate it when someone who has just learned his/her child has autism says, “I´m sorry”. I don´t feel the same way. I´m actually grateful when someone has a polite or sympathetic comment to make when they learn my 5 year old daughter has autism. Some people don´t know what to say and instead of being quiet they say things like, “I saw Rain man”, “she can talk, she´s not autistic”, “she looks so…
Read MoreIn the Blink of an Eye
When I pictured my life 10 years ago kids were not in the picture. I just could not picture myself as a mom, then one almost breast augmentation later, I was pregnant with my first. Finding that out on the operating table was one of the most comical experience I’ve been through – let’s just say plastic surgeons are not used to telling people they are pregnant! Nonetheless, now I am a mom to two beautiful boys. Our road to getting here has not been easy, my husband is an…
Read MoreI’m Not Lonely Anymore Mama
The decision to have a third baby was huge for us…as it is for any family. A third baby is a lot. Plus, our boys were 7 and 5. Did we really want to start over? Midnight feedings, lugging a car seat around, and nursing. Our living room wasn’t filled with baby gear. We had no bottles or diaper bags. And, to address the elephant in the room…one of our boys has autism. He needs so much more all the time. More patience. More therapy. More one-on-one time. More everything.…
Read MoreA Boy and his Baby Brother
Oh how far he’s come. 14 weeks ago he refused to acknowledge our new addition. He had never touched a baby. Never held one. Honestly, never acknowledged one. We’ve worked in it every single day. We started slow. Eased into it. A wave. A smile. A quick touch. A hug. A kiss. And we built up to this. Today, he’s holding him, hugging him and kissing him. With a 20 second count of course. This kid is amazing. I have so much hope for their relationship. https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/344747129459436/ Interested in writing…
Read MoreA Letter to My “Typical” Son
Dear Eli, You are such a blessing to our family. You came into this world as a teeny tiny miracle. You arrived 6 weeks early. Those first few weeks were so hard. I ached to have you home. The house felt so incomplete without you there. Since the day you came home, you became mommy’s baby boy. You were a miracle in so many ways. Not only were you our little preemie but you also were our first child that was typical. You made us so happy with every word…
Read MoreSeeing their Future
These two. Brothers. Cooper was barely two when Sawyer was born. I had so many ideas of what their relationship would be like. So close in age. I thought they’d be best friends. I thought they’d play nonstop. Like so many parts of life…what I imagined didn’t happen. Their relationship has always been unique. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of confusion for Sawyer. Cooper is mostly oblivious to him. They rarely interact. They seem to lead separate lives but do acknowledge that the other one seems to live here…
Read MoreOur Holiday Break in Photos
Taking photos of my beautiful boys and crazy, wild life is one of my favorite things to do. Part of me wishes I would have became a photographer. Photos show our life in a way that my written words never could. When Cooper was 3, I was asked on a questionnaire if he had any behaviors. Does he stim or flap? Does he line objects up? Does he hum? At that time, he didn’t do any of those things besides flap his arms. I remember thinking, we must be really…
Read MoreWhat it Stole From Us
I stand in the shower and let the scalding hot water burn my skin. The first quiet moments of day. I take a deep breath. And let it out slowly. I give myself the grace to feel and think about what it stole from us. The grace every parent should give themselves every now and then. Of course we shouldn’t dwell there. But it’s okay to visit now and then when it is warranted. Especially on days like Christmas. And birthdays. And other milestones. As the water burns my back,…
Read MoreTelling My Daughter her Brother has Autism
My daughter was six when my son was born. We spoke about what it would be like when the baby was born We talked about how things might change for a short time and that it doesn’t change how much I love her and that my time may be a little bit unfairly split for a while as babies need a lot of attention. He came along and she was in love with him. From the moment she got in the car from school she always asked how he’d been…
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