Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
Is My Son Happy?
‘Everyone has a different idea of what happiness looks like.’ Is my son happy? I think about that a lot. As do many parents of children who struggle to communicate. Who can’t show us. For a lot of years I honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. At age five my son didn’t laugh or smile much. He didn’t enjoy leaving our house. At home, he isolated himself a lot. He didn’t play or interact really. He was full of anxiety, only we didn’t know because anytime we asked…
Read MoreSocial Distancing With Autism
I’m getting a tiny chuckle (with love of course) at the people panicking about social distancing. We have been social distancing for nine years. Not by choice of course. No one told us we had to do it. It more happened out of necessity. Because of autism. When someone in your family doesn’t understand the world we live in and the world doesn’t understand him or her in return…well, you stay home more often than not. Because home is safe. You learn to social isolate real fast. See, my sweet…
Read MoreFrom Non-Verbal to Verbal
I decided to take a much needed nap yesterday while my baby slept. You know that old saying…sleep when the baby sleeps? I was practicing that. For the first time in ages. Because my baby, well, he is giving me a run for my money in the sleep department. I thought my older son was a bad sleeper? Ha. The newest Swenson says, ‘watch this.’ Anyhow, I slept for two glorious hours. And I woke up to the most beautiful sound. One I had never heard before. One I had only…
Read MoreNever Give Up
It’s funny how life seems to happen. And sometimes in the most bizarre ways. For nine years you social isolate, so much in fact, you almost forget how to socialize. You know you can’t go to Walmart, or candy stores or parks or even walk down the street safely. If there are crowds or lines or loud sounds it ain’t happening. So, you adjust. You figure it out. You learn to live and keep going. Then, suddenly, it seems to get easier. Not overnight. Far from it really. Instead after…
Read MoreWe’re On An Adventure
I can’t tell you the last spontaneous thing we have done as a family. I reckon it’s been eight years. Trips and outings are planned meticulously to help our kiddo be successful. But, well, when you realize you forgot his favorite paper to stim on, and you need to get out of the house so you don’t all lose your minds…you take a trip to town. (That’s what you say when you live in the country…you go to town!) You risk it. We are doing it. We couldn’t have even dared…
Read MoreAge is Just a Number
Yesterday I was scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, as I usually do, when I saw a picture that stopped my finger mid-motion. It was a little girl I knew well. Her mom, a friend of mine. We were pregnant at the same time. We have slipped apart over the years, as we so often do. The photo was precious. The caption read, the last day of third grade. Third grade. Wow. For a second I thought, that can’t be right. I did the math. It was right. If my son was…
Read MoreFamily Safety In The Car
We used to not be able to safely ride in the car as a family. Let that sink in for a moment. We had to take two cars, Jamie and I separating the boys, or one of us had to ride in the back with the kids and even then it wasn’t all that safe. At one point we had to have a safety plan. We couldn’t turn left. Or stop at stoplights. Road construction was the worst. Slowing down wasn’t allowed. I’d tell friends that we couldn’t go through…
Read MoreYears Of Practice Will Bring Success
We practice. I remember in the beginning feeling overwhelmed about all of the things my son needed to learn. Things that came seemingly easy for most children. Walking safely, using silverware, speaking, playing, self-care, I could go on and on. When I thought about all of it I almost couldn’t breathe at times. I didn’t know how to do it all. So, I did what any logical person would do…I made a list. I ranked them. I picked what was most important and what could wait. For our family, it…
Read MoreThe Beauty Of A Complicated Path
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the paths that each of my boys will take as they grow up. Three sons. 9, 7 and 1. Cooper, my oldest, well, it’s been complicated. So many daycares until we finally couldn’t find one to take him anymore. Then starting in the school district at age three, multiple day programs, IEP meetings, transportation to and from, trusting the world with my tiny, yet mighty, nonverbal, unaware child who could hardly hold up his backpack. I waved goodbye to a child who didn’t know…
Read MoreTeaching Kids Kindness
Before I had babies, and even when they were younger, I had preconceived notions of what I would teach them throughout their lives. I assumed how to walk. And talk. Throw a ball. Read and write. I assumed we’d practice riding a bike and hitting a baseball. Later on I’d teach them to drive a car and how to dress for an interview and tip at a restaurant. Tangible things. It’s funny now because yes, those things matter. A’s on tests matter. Making the team matters. But kindness matters too.…
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