Posts Tagged ‘nonverbal toddler’
Our Dream Home
We moved this past spring. My husband and I found the perfect place. Five acres, off the road, down a long winding lane lined with trees, no neighbors, surrounded by nothing but farm fields. The property boasts a three car garage with a spare room on top. A barn that’s been gutted and restored, as well as a fish pond that is spring fed. The previous owners planted fruit trees- apples, pears, peaches, and cherries. Grapes hang from the vine, begging to be picked. It only gets better. The inside…
Read MoreMore Changes for Cooper
I was chatting with a friend today and she said to me….“I have never met a more resilient family. It’s like change doesn’t scare you.” I just smiled and nodded. It must appear that way to the outside world. Oddly enough I usually feel like I am standing in a room screaming and people are rushing by me. But, apparently from the outside, I appear to have my shit together. Score one for me and bring on more changes. Cooper is starting an autism preschool at the local elementary school on…
Read MoreI Would Always Choose Cooper
Coopers birthday is on Saturday. He will be 4. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop. Even sneaking little peeks at Cooper. Watching closer than usual. Wondering how we got here and marveling in how far we’ve come. And thinking how far we have to go. And most importantly melting at just how wonderful this kid is and secretly wondering if maybe his way of thinking isn’t all that off. For example I am trying to teach Cooper to sign ‘thank you’. The sign is touching your hand to your chin and would be pretty…
Read MoreThe Inability To 'Just Be'
I think a lot about the hardest parts of autism…or Cooper’s autism I guess. There are days when I think the whining is the worst. Or his eating habits. Or the throwing. It can vary and probably has a lot to do with how tired I am or worn down at that moment. Some days I can take on anything. I am a rock. And some days I feel like I can’t take it anymore. There are days where I feel like I won’t survive fighting over another dinner. Cooper will…
Read MoreWe Don't Need Action Super Heroes Anymore
I can relate to this so much. Greatest fears: I am scared that I am going to die before Cooper can live an independent life. And, that he’s never going to talk.
Read MoreFalse Hope is Brutal
I had a close friend over this weekend to help us with our house remodel. 17 times, yes I counted, he said, “I think Cooper is going to talk someday.” He was so hopeful. “I just know it Kate, he is going to talk. Don’t give up hope. He’s so close.” And it went on. “It’s going to happen. We just need to break through.” How dare he? He has no facts. No medical knowledge of the situation. I don’t think he’s ever heard of Apraxia or read a sentence…
Read MoreThe Frantic Sweat
It happened again this weekend. The frantic sweating. And I know every single mom out there with a kiddo like Cooper can relate. Cooper and I spent a lot of time at the beach this past weekend. When we first got there I noticed another mom who looked a lot like me. My age, blonde, 3 young boys, camping. She was me. If I had to guess I would say her boys were probably ages 7, 4 and 2. I am a super observant person and I watched this mom a lot. First,…
Read MoreI am Jealous of My Own Son
Life has been crazy lately. And again, in a way, I love it because I don’t dwell on the little things. I ran a half marathon yesterday and I’ll tell you that one thought crossed my mind a dozen times. ‘One more step and maybe Cooper will talk.’ So silly, right? I can’t help it though. It’s the way my mom brain works. I am his voice. I am strong for him. When the running gets tough I always think of him. Like maybe in God’s spare time he is…
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