Posts Tagged ‘nonverbal autism’
It Could Be…
Yesterday I picked up my son from therapy and I knew instantly that something was off. He was with his favorite therapist. The one he absolutely adores. As I sat in my car watching her come out of the building with him, I immediately noticed how he was darting a bit. He was pulling away from her. Waving his arms. And my stomach dropped. I knew right then. Something was wrong. I jumped out and greeted him the way I always do. Like I haven’t seen him in years. I…
Read MoreMy Son has Never Been a Burden
I received an email last night. It was from a disabled adult. She self identified that way. She told me that she feels like a burden to her family. She feels guilty. She feels sad. She feels awful for the stress her disability has caused her parents. She worries that her siblings resent her. She said she lies awake at night wishing she could make her parent’s lives easier. She feels like a burden. I read the email over and over again. And I felt like I’d been punched in…
Read MoreThe Never Ending Vaccination Question
Am I going to vaccinate my baby? Do I think vaccines cause autism? Did I vaccinate my first two children? I get these questions daily. Typically always from a sweet, curious mother. They wonder what I plan to do. Little do they know that I will never, under any circumstance, answer that question. Some parents hide deep, dark secrets. I hide my opinion on vaccines. Why? Because my answers affect the safety of my children. After my video went viral, people sent me pictures of dead babies. Actual photos of…
Read MoreDoes He Understand That You Are Pregnant?
‘Does Cooper understand that you are pregnant?’ I get that question all the time. Even more as my pregnancy progresses. My honest answer is I don’t know. I truly don’t. Maybe? Maybe not? In our house we assume competency. Cooper is a very smart kid. He is always listening. But, this is a tricky topic for him too. We talk about it every day. We include him in conversation the best we can. We point to my tummy. We are even going to buy a baby doll and start practicing.…
Read MoreMy Son, In the Moments You are Still
This morning I watched you sleeping. On a mattress. On the floor. Next to my bed. You were still. There was no sound. No silly songs blaring. No grunts or squeals coming from you. Just breathing. You were not moving. Your arms were not flapping. You were not running or rolling. You looked like an angel. Your body and mind were content. Seeing you still and peaceful Cooper is the most beautiful thing ever. The fact that you are near us at night is very new in our world too.…
Read MoreMama, I Don’t Want my Baby Brother to Have Autism
On Sundays we eat dinner at Jamie’s parents. Often, this is our only trip outside of our house as a family. We treasure it. We look forward to it. They only live 10 minutes or so away but sometimes the trips can feel like an eternity. I of course was sitting in the backseat with both boys. On trips longer than a few minutes, I often sit between them. One of Cooper’s biggest struggles is still vehicle safety. When he gets anxious, or his Kindle stops working to his liking,…
Read MoreIt’s About So Much More Than Fireworks
It’s not about watching the fireworks. Or seeing children run around with sparklers. It’s not about the parades. Or eating the hotdogs and potato salad. It’s not about going camping. Because let’s be honest about how much work that really is for parents. It’s not about sitting at the beach. Or riding your bike around the neighborhood. It’s about so much more than those activities. It’s not about parents that are complaining about missing an event. Because I’ve heard that. I’ve read the comments from people outside the world of…
Read MoreI Will Give You The World Kid
For the first five years of my son’s life, he never asked me for anything. No birthday presents. No trips to Lego Land. No demanding things in the Target checkout line. Some of you with children may think I am lucky. I don’t look at it that way. Until you live it, you can never truly understand either. For the first few years of Cooper’s life, he really never asked for anything. He never told us when he was hungry. He never asked for a drink. He never told us…
Read MoreLiving With a Child Who Has Anxiety
New Video! I know, it’s been a while. I want to talk about living with a child who has anxiety, rigidity and unsafe behaviors. What that feels like for the parents. And how it controls everything. Imagine having a person in your home who’s hyper focused on unsafe behaviors. Who doesn’t understand social norms. Who can’t hit reset when you tell them to stop. Their behaviors are relentless. They don’t take a break. They are hyper-focused. They want to escape from your home. If you turn your back for a…
Read MoreThe Silence Can Be Deafening
There are times when the silence is deafening. When the lack of speech and two-way conversation fills up a car so loudly you feel like screaming. Seven years. Almost eight. Think of all the conversations we should have had. All the questions he should have asked me. I should know his favorite color. And animal. He should be talking my ear off. And asking me nonstop questions. It should be one more drink of water before bed. Or one more story. I should be praying for quiet. For just one…
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