Posts Tagged ‘nonverbal autism’
I Will Carry Cooper Mama
When Sawyer was three he asked me if we could go to a fair. I of course said…’yes, but we have to wait until summer.’ Per the usual he said to me…’can my brother go?’ I told him no. His face immediately fell. ‘Cooper can’t go with us buddy.’ I went onto explain how the fair will be too scary for him. ‘Too many sounds and people for Cooper.’ He thought about that for a minute and then looked up at me and said….’is that because he has autism?’ And…
Read MoreGood People Don’t Bully Other Parents
Parenting a child with a disability is not a competition to see who has the highest functioning kid or the most severe kid. It’s not about bullying a fellow parent for admitting they are having a hard day. It’s not about alienating them because they see something different than you do. It’s not about arguing over labels or word choice. And it’s especially not about belittling a fellow parent who is newer to the journey. A parent who is asking questions. And asking for help and support. Acceptance takes time. It…
Read MoreI Need You Too
Since the day you were born, I knew that being a Mom was my purpose in life. I loved every single moment. The late nights, the cuddling, even the poopy diapers. That feeling, knowing that someone needs you… is amazing. Although, I thought it would only last for a little while. The needing. The constant. Now, you are four. And you still need me just as much now, as you did when you were a newborn…and I can’t help but wonder if that’s how it will be forever? Will you…
Read MoreMy Promise to my Son
My son, I have never met a person who works as hard as you just to live in this world. I think so often we forget that this place simply doesn’t make sense to you. Or kids like you. You like and need things different than the norm. It’s too loud, too bright, too smelly. It’s crowded and overwhelming. And people just don’t understand you. They don’t take the time to listen or see you or understand. But every single day, you persist. You try. You practice. You adapt. You…
Read MoreMy Special Needs Truths
To the people that live outside of the special needs world. Here are my truths: Parenting is hard. So is special needs parenting. I’m allowed to say that both are hard at times. Talking about the realities of severe autism is not negative. It’s not pretty and wrapped up in a bow. It’s very real and raw. And until you live it, please be kind to those who do. I will be raising a child who needs lifelong care until the day I die. While other children leave the nest…
Read MoreThank You to the People Who See My Son
I want to thank the people who see my son. The people who ask how he is doing. Who on a Facetime say, ‘Let me see the boys. And Cooper too.’ Because while Sawyer and Harbor are demanding to talk and be seen, Cooper is not. Thank you to the people who wave to him on the street and say hi without needing a response. Who talk to him, even though they know he won’t answer back. Who aren’t afraid of his protesting at the park and instead ask him…
Read MoreThe Only Moments That Matter
This morning I saw a commercial. It was for some insurance company. Perfect family, house and kids. The oldest graduating from high school. The tag line something like…these are the moments we prepare for. The only moments that matter. I’ve been thinking about it all day. My mind keeps going back to it. The only moments that matter… First day of school. Graduation. A college acceptance letter. First job. A promotion, Marriage. Babies. Retirement. But what if a person doesn’t achieve those moments? Does their life not matter? My son…
Read MoreI Wish We Didn’t Have to Fight
Sometimes I wish we didn’t have to fight; fight for services, for inclusion, for equality. But I know that is not the case. We will always have to fight because my 4 year old, nonverbal son diagnosed with autism will never be fully accepted by everyone, and that makes me so incredibly sad. I am reminded of this from time to time and every time it stings. This week I was reminded again how the neurotypical world doesn’t quite understand and accept my son. Franklin has been in an Early…
Read MoreI Was So Scared of Different
I used to be so scared of different. Of standing out. I preferred to blend in. Not rock the boat. But you kid. You changed all that. You were born to stand out. To be different. When you were little I’d get so scared. The fear would paralyze me. We’d be in a waiting room or at a park. Everyone else would be sitting. Or playing quietly. You’d be flapping. Or making happy noises. Moving chairs. Eating sand. Twirling. Never sitting. Screeching. Grunting. Laughing at sounds or colors. You’d drop…
Read MoreWe Have Perfected Splitting Up
We were standing in a group of friends. Sawyer and I. Waiting in line with five other families. Dozens of kids. I watched him subconsciously glance around. Taking it all in. I wonder if he ever realizes that most of these kids, his friends, are his brother’s age. 8. They are talking about scary movies, Pokémon cards and mini doughnuts. As kids do. Part of me thinks he doesn’t even realize Cooper’s age. Probably because his favorites are Barney and First Word Books. I get it. He tugged on my…
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