Posts Tagged ‘letter’
My Son, Please Choose a Partner who will Love your Brother
Sawyer, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being mine. For being here. For growing up. For keeping me firmly grounded in reality. For being easy. And simple. And letting autism be in control when it needs to be. Thank you for asking me questions. And telling me stories. For playing sports. And having playdates and birthday parties. Thank you for giving me all the milestones and memories that a mother dreams of. But mostly, thank you for being you. I want to tell you a few things.…
Read MoreSawyer, My Brother and your Brother are Both Autistic
A few weeks ago, Sawyer received a handwritten letter in the mail from a boy named Dylan. He is 13. He has a brother with autism too. I sobbed when I read it. This little boy’s letter started a conversation I have been so desperately wanting to have with my son. Thank you Dylan and his mom. Take a read. Dear Sawyer, My name is Dylan and I am 13 years old and live in Texas. My mom watches your mom on the computer. She told me about you and…
Read MoreA Letter to my Son, High School Graduate of the Class of 2019
Dear Sean, Congratulations! You did it! My heart is filled with pride and happiness over all you have achieved and the amazing young man that you have become. Reflecting back as I look through old pictures and letters I have saved for you, brings back so many amazing memories I remember how you knew the names of all the Thomas trains and played with them for hours on end. You even took your favorite train to sleep every night! I remember the elaborate hot wheels tracks that you and your…
Read MoreA Letter to my Firstborn
I guess you don’t remember when it was just you and me. A time before having a sibling to share the attention that you so desperately craved. We had two years alone together, you and I. We would read endless books together because it was your favorite thing to do. We would go for walks, to playgrounds, to play places, to restaurants. We were out in the world and we loved exploring it. I would marvel at each new thing that you learned. I would watch with a heart full…
Read MoreFalling in Love with Reality
To the boy that grew only in my heart, I still think about you sometimes. Not as often as I did in the beginning. But sometimes when things get lonely and dark you wander into my mind. You stand there smiling at me. Sometimes you talk to me and tell me all the things you love. Sometimes you show me your favorite toys. Sometimes you teach your little brother things and I watch him look up to you in awe as you take care of him. Sometimes you play with…
Read MoreA Letter to My Boy on His Birthday
Dear son, On the eve of your 4th Birthday, I want you to know that you are loved beyond measure plus infinity forever. Autism has nothing to do with the fact that I am blessed to be your Mama. The love and joy that you have brought to my life is beyond anything I could ever have imagined. You make me smile EVERY single day. When I saw you for the first time, I couldn’t believe how beautiful and perfect you were, and I feel the same way today. You…
Read MoreWill I be Sad Forever?
Dear Kate, I’m writing you because I don’t know who else to say this too. It’s late. 2 am actually. Everyone is sleeping. Although I know my son will be up in a hour. I should be sleeping. But I can’t. My son was diagnosed today with autism. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I mean, I knew. We all knew. He has no words. He doesn’t even try to communicate. I overhead one of the aides in his preschool say she has never met a boy quite so autistic.…
Read MoreThe Day I Became your Mama
My oldest child, my twin, and the one I’ve sometimes wanted to bust in the chin. Sarcasm, or na? See what I did there. A rhyme for you. I bet you don’t have the slightest clue, but it’s true, God gave me you! You were the one who made me a Mama, more than 25 years ago. I was a mere 20 something years old, when you came. You were a gift from God, ain’t he good! You my daughter, bring joy to my day, come what may. Many times…
Read MoreWill the Grieving Ever End?
Dear God, it’s me again. I’m tired today. I can hardly take a breath. I’m so tired of fighting for every single thing my son needs. My head is spinning and I still have so much to do. I’ve been fighting back tears lately and tonight Cody took me by the hand and led me to his room. He took his yearbook down from a shelf and motioned me to sit down with him. As I sat with him on the edge of his bed I waited as he opened…
Read MoreSon, My Promise to You
Hey there, kiddo. It’s me, your mom. Today you turn nine. Nine. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday I was sitting at our family’s summer camp with a positive pregnancy test in my hand. So excited, waiting to call your Dad to tell him the good news. Wondering, when I could tell your Grandma and Grandpa they were going to become first-time Grandparents. And, to be honest, worrying and hoping that that vacation margarita wasn’t going to be a problem. In other ways, it feels like these past…
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