It's the Middle that Counts the Most

I spent the weekend with my kids and husband and our puppies. Jamie and I even snuck  in a date for margaritas. We were walking on air until we came home to dog pee on the carpet. **SIGH**  All in all though, it was a perfect weekend. Maybe it has to do with spring coming. Maybe it’s because Cooper is getting easier every day or maybe it’s a whole lot of self growth. I guess I really don’t know. But I’ll take it. I cleaned my house 17 times and then cleaned it…

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Wishing Your Life Away

As I was getting dressed for work this morning I tried on 6 or 7 shirts, two pairs of pants and multiple sweaters. And no, it’s not that I LOVE my fashionable clothes. It’s the opposite. I am still working on losing this last 10 pounds of baby weight that feels the need to stick around and NOTHING fits me right. And there is nothing I hate more than being uncomfortable at work. I keep telling myself that I will buy new clothes once I get to my ‘goal’ weight.…

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How to Tell the Difference Between a Tantrum and a Meltdown.

I just saw this on Pinterest and it really struck me. It was an ah-ha moment I guess. Cooper is obsessed with getting a reaction. Pretty much everyone that has met him will admit this. He is driven by reactions from others. If Cooper gets mad for whatever reason he goes into full blown tantrum mode. Since he can’t speak he tends to knock over chairs. Or maybe knock stuff off a table. (It’s exasperating!) But the odd part about it is he waits until you are looking. He will…

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This Isn't The Life I Pictured

I called my mom and cried today. I haven’t cried in quite some time over all of this. I was able to get out of the house alone and run some errands and as I was driving I finally broke down crying. I have been holding it in for a few days and it just got to be too much. The day-to-day with Cooper is so hard. Let me rephrase that. If we let Cooper do whatever he wants life is easy. If we challenge him all hell ‘can’ break loose.…

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My Sensory Seeking Toddler

I am well aware that this is a creepy ass picture. So please disregard that part and pay attention to the information. I knew nothing of Sensory Issues before I had Cooper. Let me rephrase that, I never knew that it was an actual disorder. I can think of so many kids that can’t stand tags on their clothes or struggle with different types of socks or shoes. Or kids that don’t like to finger-paint or get their hands dirty. Heck, I even know some adults like this! I guess I didn’t…

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Cooper's just Cooper

Tuesday was a really tough day and it took me by surprise how hard it hit me. Just when I think things are getting better WAM. Like a freight train.  I am so mad and so sad all the time that it just wears me down to nothing. And I’m tired of being mad and sad and tired of being tired. But most of all I’m tired of expecting things to be different. Maybe I need a big dose of acceptance? Maybe that’s the missing piece. I spent most of…

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Fine Motor Skills in Toddlers

There are so many different pieces of Cooper’s delays that I often just lump them together because I get so overwhelmed when I think about each part individually. But now that Sawyer is here and developing on a typical path I can’t believe how many things I should have noticed. Cooper met all of his beginning milestones right on time and because he met all of these milestones on time I really didn’t pay attention to the rest.  Holding his head up, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, standing, walking and then…

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Instead of Answers We Have More Questions

Yesterday was really tough. And for more than one reason. I actually thought about sugar-coating it because I feel like lately I have been posting such bad/sad stuff. But if we can’t be honest in our blog what hope do we have! A guy that I went to college with committed suicide last week and the funeral was yesterday. Tuesday night the whole gang from college got together. It was one of those moments where you haven’t seen each other for 10 years and all of a sudden you are best…

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I Am A Fixer

I am a fixer. I always have been. Problem solving is my thing. I work as a Project Manager and my job is to tackle multiple projects at once. Someone will come to me and say, figure out a way to make this work better. And I dig in. I love it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realize that I can’t fix Cooper. I can’t change him. No matter how much I pray or hope or wish…he is who he is. And that scares the…

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Enjoy Today Mama

Cooper’s speech appointment was canceled this morning so I thought I would share a little humor. I sometimes feel like I am in a movie like The Truman Show. Last Friday I brought Cooper to speech therapy at our local hospital. We usually get there a few minutes early so Cooper can play with the train table in the waiting room. As usual, I had drunk 4 gallons of coffee so the first thing I did when we arrived was take Cooper to the bathroom. The waiting room has 2 private bathrooms…

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