Posts Tagged ‘Developmental Delay’
The Inability to Just Try
There is such a huge difference between ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t.’ Basically trying and failing or refusing to try at all. Cooper refuses to try and it makes me freaking insane. As a parent it is heartbreaking to see your child try and fail. And trust me, I know this firsthand. It seems like every week we are doing one or two evaluations and I watch as cooper fails it all. And then add in the fact that his 15 month old brother is toddling along side him doing it all.…
Read MoreI Don't Want To Be Super Mom Today
I was told at the beginning of this process (or maybe it was the middle) that I wasn’t taking the help that was available to me for Cooper. This was said to me by someone pretty close in our lives. She went onto tell me that I was living in denial and I wasn’t get Cooper the help that he needed. When she said this to me it was like one of those slow motion moments where time stops. I could practically see the words hanging in the air. I remember looking at her…
Read MoreBack to Reality
Jamie and I are back from our quick vacation in Washington DC. It was so amazing to feel like a grown up. I think I started to forget what it was like. We ate and drank and slept. And we only had one deep, ‘what does the future hold’, conversation about Cooper. And wow was the break refreshing. Everyone deserves a break from the worry. If you let it the worry will suffocate you. And as parent’s of kiddos with needs we know all too well what that is like. Don’t get…
Read MoreLet's just get through this 4 weeks of disappointment and move on with our lives.
How did it come to this? Coordinating calendars and therapy appointments. Managing meltdowns and lack of understanding. Hating myself. And my life. I guess I just don’t understand when it happened. I am sitting here trying to remember when it got hard. Cooper was a difficult sleeper from birth but besides that he was a great baby. Loved to eat. Loved to snuggle. Loved to be moving. Then we had the pooping issues. Then the hearing aid debacle. And I will say that whole shit show toughened me up. I learned how…
Read MoreJust A Little Ole 'H' Sound
I have some exciting news from yesterday. This is so subtle that I truly don’t believe anyone would have ever noticed it but me. And I made Cooper repeat the action so I could make sure it was real. We were reading book number 4 before bed last night. It was this big book about Sesame Street. Lots of colors and pictures and actions. Per the usual, I ask Cooper to point to different things. ‘Cooper, where is the red balloon? Where is the blue car? And so on.’ I…
Read MoreIt's The Anger That Kills Me The Most.
I have been obsessed with autism/apraxia/SPD research lately. I don’t know why it just hit me so hard but lately it’s all I can think about. Cooper is such a mystery and doesn’t seem to fall into any one category. So, I have been scouring blogs looking for Cooper’s twin and I can’t seem to find one. I keep looking for a social 3 year old with no words who has delays. No go on that end but I keep finding all of these amazing moms that are so much farther than…
Read MoreI See an IEP Fight In My Future
Cooper’s pediatrician called me yesterday. I about pooped my pants when I saw the number on caller ID. I always think the worst for some reason. But it was a good call. She was following through with us about the Developmental Pediatrician. Apparently, in the whole entire state of Minnesota, there is one clinic that is currently taking new patients. Um…WOW. And since there is a 9 month wait she recommends that we make the appointment and hopefully things improve and we can cancel it. I like her positive attitude. She…
Read MoreThis Isn't The Life I Pictured
I called my mom and cried today. I haven’t cried in quite some time over all of this. I was able to get out of the house alone and run some errands and as I was driving I finally broke down crying. I have been holding it in for a few days and it just got to be too much. The day-to-day with Cooper is so hard. Let me rephrase that. If we let Cooper do whatever he wants life is easy. If we challenge him all hell ‘can’ break loose.…
Read MoreHe Sat Still Folks!
I have to share this! Cooper had a cold yesterday. I am kind of worried that he might have an ear infection which would mean that his tube most likely fell out. Ugh. I can’t even think about it. It seems to be gone today though. Anyhow, I picked him up from daycare and for the first time in 2 years we rode home in silence. Usually, he ‘chats’ the whole ride. It borders whining with a bit of pointing and shrieking. Oh, to know what is in that kid’s…
Read MoreEek…I Overshared! And Now You Know The Real Me!
I am totally having mommy guilt about oversharing yesterday. Think of it as drinking too much and being embarrassed the next day about what you said and did. We’ve all been there. At least I know I have! (One too many times) Except yesterday I wasn’t drinking. I was just plain, old sad. And worn down. And needed help. A good night’s sleep reminded me that life could be a lot worse. If I was to sum up Cooper’s behaviors I can link every single one to lack of communication. He…
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