Posts Tagged ‘delayed speech’
Say ‘Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma’
Last night I was snuggling with Harbor and I found myself subconsciously saying…’say ma-ma-ma-ma.’ And as I looked at him I saw Cooper. I immediately flashed back to seven years ago and all the times I encouraged him to start making sounds. I waited for so long. Calmly at first. But eventually desperate. Here we go again. https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/862215027463626/ Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you…
Read MoreWhat I am Missing….
I spend a lot of time thinking about all the things I’ve missed with Cooper. I know…he doesn’t know…he’s happy…he’s not missing out…blah, blah, blah. Those three things top my list of ‘What not to say to an Autism mom.’ But I know. I see it everyday in Sawyer. I know what I am missing. It’s a whole life. It’s language and emotion and socialization and laughter and interaction. I am missing it all. It comes in waves. Sawyer and I were looking through his baby book last night. We…
Read MoreLoving Ourselves Through The Process
I’ve been getting to know a lot of other autism mama’s and as we share our stories there are always some common threads. One is the weight of autism. Wherever you are in the journey you can still feel the weight of having a special needs kiddo. And the weight of the unknown. Sometimes I can’t breathe because I am so scared. Another is the loneliness. And I don’t mean loneliness in the sense of physically being alone because I am never alone. Hell, I haven’t pooped alone in 4 years.…
Read MoreThe Frantic Sweat
It happened again this weekend. The frantic sweating. And I know every single mom out there with a kiddo like Cooper can relate. Cooper and I spent a lot of time at the beach this past weekend. When we first got there I noticed another mom who looked a lot like me. My age, blonde, 3 young boys, camping. She was me. If I had to guess I would say her boys were probably ages 7, 4 and 2. I am a super observant person and I watched this mom a lot. First,…
Read MoreI Love You. I Always Have. Even The Things I Don't Like, I Love.
Yesterday morning I was running around getting ready for work. Running late as usual with a million things to do. Cooper was watching Thomas and my husband and Sawyer were still in bed. The house was quiet and dark…one of my favorite times of the day. I ran through the living room and Cooper saw me, pointed to the TV and smiled. He grabbed my hand and led me to the couch. He patted where he wanted me to sit and then snuggled in next to me. He then covered us…
Read MoreThe Right Side of Age 4
Lately, I have been getting involved with a lot with other Apraxia moms both through Facebook and blogs. I have seen an increase in questions having to do with kids being nonverbal for their whole lives. I know I’ve mentioned on here before that one of the hardest moments of my life was when I realized that some kids don’t talk. Click HERE to read that post. Cooper has always been so vocal and so loud it never crossed my mind that he wouldn’t talk. When I learned that nonverbal was a…
Read MoreJust A Little Ole Choo-Choo Sound
The good days are continuing. I could sure get used to this! Last night I had amazingly special moments with each of my boys. I was sitting on the floor playing with Sawyer and we were feeding his baby from toy bottle. He was hugging and kissing the baby and laughing. I saw love and a HUGE imagination. I wrapped the baby up and sang a lullaby and Sawyer thought that was the most amazing thing ever. I didn’t get these moments with Cooper and I may never get them. Pure…
Read MoreThe Funny Things People Say.
I had a conversation over the phone with someone this morning who is very close to our situation. (This picture shows my face during the conversation.) They know the ins and the outs. And I don’t feel comfortable saying who at this point. And really, that isn’t important. What is important is the odd things people say to me. I wouldn’t say that I am secretive about Cooper (I have a very public blog!) but I also don’t advertise it or look for advice from people outside my inner circle. I bet…
Read MoreCooper showed his 'Calm.'
There are many times throughout the day when I will look at Cooper and think ‘what the heck is going on in that little brain of yours?’ Last night was not one of those nights. This kid let his smarts show. A little backstory. Everything Cooper does is AMPED up. If he wants something he shrieks and whines and points and jumps up and down. He goes from zero to one million plus one in under a second. If his train falls off the track he takes the freaking house down. If I…
Read MoreLowering my Expectations
I am sitting here trying to decide what to write about. I could write about the event I went to this weekend and how seeing hundreds of ‘normal’ happy children takes a lot out of me. How I had to text Jamie a few times for support and yet again realized how alone I am in my feelings about Cooper’s future. He will never feel how I feel about our situation. And I will never feel how he feels. Maybe its a man/woman thing. Or an outlook on life thing. I guess…
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