Posts Tagged ‘autism’
A Normal Breath
I was finally sitting on the couch with a cup of tea when my oldest daughter came downstairs. “Um, Mom, I just walked in on Ellie in the bathroom and she was holding poop in her hand.” Shit. Literally. So this is it, this is going to be the “next thing”. Our new challenge. A new behavior. A new reason to hold my breath. It is the day after Christmas and I feel as though I haven’t exhaled in the last 72 hours. I thought I could finally breathe normally.…
Read MoreDid You Know?
Right now, someone is playing charades, A child, wide-eyed, his voice upward inflected, A voice, but not words, His every desire affected. Did you know every word, Out of every girl and boy, Is not a given, it’s a gift, It’s a little piece of joy? Have you heard the screams ringing in your ears? A longing, disguised in sound. The weight of his need to be known, Bringing his whole body to the ground. Have you felt your frustration tremor just under your love, And wondered when the ground…
Read MoreWhy did this happen to us?
My husband and I often ask ourselves, “Why did this happen to us?” Is there a lesson that the universe is trying to teach us by giving us two children on the autism spectrum? Tonight, I think I figured it out after I attended two holiday parties. At the first party, I finally got closure about losing a friend after she made explicit comments. She thinks my child doesn’t have autism because she is not intellectually delayed and makes eye contact. My child has behavior issues (not autism) and needs…
Read MoreOur Holiday Break in Photos
Taking photos of my beautiful boys and crazy, wild life is one of my favorite things to do. Part of me wishes I would have became a photographer. Photos show our life in a way that my written words never could. When Cooper was 3, I was asked on a questionnaire if he had any behaviors. Does he stim or flap? Does he line objects up? Does he hum? At that time, he didn’t do any of those things besides flap his arms. I remember thinking, we must be really…
Read MoreMy Transformation as a Mother
My “best” moment in regards to my daughter’s autism actually came on the heels of my worst. It had been a stressful week. My mother was in town visiting. I was kinda-sorta halfheartedly still trying to potty train. Kira was sitting on the toilet. I knew she had to pee but she was holding it. She started to fuss and threw her head back, hitting it on the toilet lid. When she self-injures, which is rarely, it triggers something in me—immense frustration; almost rage. I snatched her off the toilet and…
Read MoreLooking Back, Looking Forward (VIDEO)
Hey everyone! Happy New Year! As promised, here is a video with Jamie, my partner in crime, and an appearance by Cooper. This video would have been up earlier but Sawyer needed an apple cut a certain way, the baby needed to eat and Cooper needed to dance. Essentially, life happened. In this video we discuss why we share our lives, how it impacts us and the kiddos, our 2018 accomplishments and goals for Cooper in 2019. I want to thank every single one of our supporters for being with…
Read MoreUntil All the Pieces Fit
Holy moly. Another year has come and gone. While I long to make goals for myself as a person, you know, fitness goals, financial goals, faith based goals, etc, all I can seem to focus on, as usual, is autism. How far my sweet son has come in the past year. But what can’t put my mind at ease is how far we still have to go. Sometimes after a really great day, Jackson’s smiles, high fives and quirks seem to bring so much joy to so many people, and…
Read MoreA New Year’s Resolution
Recently my friend texted me, “I’m so happy our boys are out having fun together”. Just a normal text any friend would send when Dads take their boys to a basketball game together. Then I looked over at my sweet Finley who has Autism and thought I’m not happy because one of my boys is here with me and not out with everyone else enjoying a basketball game and that is because he has Autism. Then for the first time I started to realize that this kind of night would…
Read MoreDo you think that Elf knew that Brayden has Autism?
I heard excited footsteps on the stairs. Zachary was standing in the living room. His little body jumping up and down. “Santa came, Santa came.” His enthusiasm radiated through the house. I watched as my older kids excitedly watched him. Despite the fact that they are “too old” to be excited the joy that exuded from Zachary was contagious. I look to the corner of the room. Brayden is sitting on the kitchen table. He is rocking back and forth. His hands covering his ears and a sad cry escapes…
Read MoreRealizing this is Forever
I always knew Max was going to be different. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I had this feeling I can’t describe. I had an amazing pregnancy, I loved being pregnant so much. It really is such a miracle and I didn’t take one minute of it for granted. Then he was born, my labor was tough with him but everything still “seemed fine” and we went home two days later. He was an incredible baby, I’m not exaggerating. He was a great sleeper, he nursed with…
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