Posts Tagged ‘autism sibling’
Just the Way You Are
She looked like a typical little girl, bright curious eyes, adorable curls, a laugh that made you instantly smile. She loved water, spinning in circles and all things Barney. She loved dirt and rocks and playing with bubbles. She would swing on her belly for long periods of time. All these things didn’t seem that out of the ordinary for a two year old. Although when you looked closer; You could see she wasn’t talking or even saying words. Her food choices were extremely limited. Her understanding was inconsistent and…
Read MoreReady for Forever
This morning I thought about forever, as we woke up before the sun, and hurried to get ready to go find trains. This is what we do. When you first find out you’re going to become a parent you think about raising a child, sending them off to college, and watching them get married and start a family of their own. I’m not saying he won’t ever do any of these things, but I’m also saying we aren’t promised he will either. The day you find out you’re not just…
Read MoreOur Kids Intuitively Know the Value of Following Their Own Path
Intrinsic value means something is valuable or interesting because of its basic nature or character and not because of its connection with other things. All people are inherently valuable without their connection to other things. Our uniqueness, individual qualities, and mark on this world rely on our individuality. No two people carry the same characteristics as any other person in this world. Because of this, we all carry a special kind of value and currency. Our autistic kids, Nixon, age six, and Nora, age three, shine a special magnifying glass…
Read MoreShe Has A Friend
When my daughter began her new school, I was hopeful. I knew there would be some learning and life skills but if I am being honest what I really wanted most for her was a friend. Of course, I wanted her to learn and to become more independent and all those things are happening, but a friend was something I wanted for her. My daughter does not have sleepovers or go to the mall with a friend. She does not talk on the phone (is that still a thing?) but…
Read MoreThe First Time I Heard Autism
Hot, sweaty, and out of breath in the middle of winter I sat in a full doctor’s office lobby. Due to construction, the area we were in held patients waiting for the pediatricians as well as those waiting for gynecologists. It was packed. My newly two year-old son would not hold still while we waited. I chased him around the room and brought him back to his chair over and over. The waiting area wasn’t enclosed and there were stairs nearby. Not ideal. Names were being called one by one…
Read MoreLittle Big Things
When I share my son’s autism, my favorite parts to share are the little big things. The moments that happen that are so huge, yet so subtle, that sometimes I don’t realize they happened until hours later. Like this morning. At 3 am. When I was awake with a toddler who refuses to develop a love for sleep like her mama. My son Cooper is 11 years old. A tween. A soon to be sixth grader. He loves bullet trains, his grandparents, and episodes of Family Feud. He wants to…
Read MoreHis Brother’s Safe Space
A few days ago we took a boat ride. Sawyer brought two friends. A brother and sister who are very much a part of our family. The big kids, Cooper included, all wanted to sit in front and screamed at Jamie to go faster. They were also supposed to watch for logs but that part didn’t happen. As we boated along we hit some rough water. It only lasted a minute or so. Pretty common on a Friday on the St. Croix River. Anyhow, Cooper squealed as a bit of…
Read MoreI Wish Time Would Slow Down
This one and I needed some time together. At 9 years old he’s in that in between space where he will hold my hand but can run to the concession and grab his own soda. He needs me but doesn’t fully. He lays his head on me when he’s tired and uses his own hand to cover my eyes during the scary parts. He’s not embarrassed of me. But also thinks I’m super old. He loves his siblings fiercely. But asked today if we could go to the movies just…
Read MoreWild Ones
Some kids are just mischievous. Wild. Busy. Exasperating. Curious. Spirited. All words we choose instead of naughty. They see a puddle and have to jump in it. A glass of water and have to dump it. A counter and have to climb it. They see a toy and immediately want to know how it works. How it’s wired. Taking it apart becomes vital. What’s it made of they think. They see mail and need to know what’s inside. A package becomes a possibility. It could be a Nerf gun or…
Read MoreTwo Brothers
Back in the beginning, when the folder was slid across the table, and the words ‘severe nonverbal autism’ were said out loud… I remember wishing for a crystal ball. I wanted to know what the future held for my boy. His brother. Our family. I begged. I pleaded. I bargained. I prayed. For a glimpse. This is the one I wish I could have seen. Right here. A moment in time. In the peace from the chaos. Two brothers. Two years apart. One verbal. One not. One on track. One…
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