Posts Tagged ‘autism parenting’
I Blamed Myself For My Son’s Autism
When I found out I was going to be a father, I was beyond excited. My wife and I had been trying to conceive for years before she got pregnant. So when she told me I was going to be a father, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! I made sure to call my wife everyday at work to make sure she ate lunch… I’m sure I annoyed the heck out of her. When we found out that we were having a boy, we started to plan everything.…
Read MoreI’m Ready For Forever
This morning I thought about forever…as we woke up before the sun and hurried to get ready to go find trains. This is what we do. When you first find out you’re going to become a parent you think about raising a child, sending them off to college and watching them get married to start a family of their own. I’m not saying he won’t ever do any of these things, but I’m also saying we aren’t promised he will either. The day you find out you’re not just a…
Read MoreMaybe I’m Doing This Right
Today was a bear of a day. A no good, really bad day as the kids say. But there were highs too. My baby said ‘love you mama’ when I left his room tonight. He’s never said that before. I thought my heart was going to burst. I even made him say it again. It was just so perfect. And then earlier today, while driving, my middle son asked me how babies are made. I froze. And because he’s so smart he said, ‘don’t worry mom, I already know. You…
Read MoreThe Autism Dad
I’d like to talk about The Autism Dad for a moment. You’ve probably come across him once or twice. It’s not always obvious at first. He’s the guy attempting a smile while his son screams. He is the man who holds his teenager’s hand as they walk down the street, oblivious to the stares. He is the father whose vision of coaching Little League and relaxing on Sunday afternoons sprawled in front of the football game have been replaced by sessions of Applied Behavior Analysis, and speech therapy. This…
Read MoreI Never Stopped Talking To Him
Yesterday I interviewed my dear friend Leasa of Cody Speaks. If you don’t follow her you should. Her son Cody is 20. He loves videos and the mail. His autism was discovered when he was 17 months old. And he started talking at 9 years old. When she said that on the live, comments immediately came in asking what she did. What is the magic thing that got him to start talking? I understand because when I found Leasa and Cody, I asked the same question. My son was 7…
Read MoreHey You
Psst, hey. Look at me, I’m over here. Come close. I want to tell you something. You won’t win today. To be honest, I haven’t really noticed you in a while. I almost forgot about you. It seemed like the medicine was working and my son Jack was calmer and a little less agitated. Then, just last month, you returned with a vengeance—all ragged cuticles and sleepless nights. Anxiety. You would think I’d be used to you by now—that I could anticipate your next move, and figure out a solution,…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to the Bullies of the World:
Dear Bullies, I wish I could say there is probably a reason for the hate in your heart but I won’t be able to do that. Your tough childhood or the excuse that hurt people in return hurt people are reasons wasted on me. You see there comes a time in our lives where we need to stop blaming others for the way we are and start learning from the difficulties of our past. YOU though are in a class of bullies all by themselves. The kind that would target…
Read MoreThe Dark Side
As a mother of a child with special needs, there are some things you just don’t say out loud. Because these things… these thoughts that occasionally loop on repeat over and over again in your head, well, they’re dark. They’re depressing. Sometimes, they’re downright scary. But these forbidden thoughts, these heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing thoughts that you’re often made to feel bad for having, they’re part of your reality. Part of your life. Part of the life that you didn’t choose. And if you dare speak of these dark, depressing, scary…
Read MoreThe Stories We Share
We are just a few weeks away from celebrating the 6th anniversary Henry’s autism diagnosis. We celebrate now, but back then it was a different story. Six years ago, I was nervous and confused. I can admit it now, but I knew nothing about autism before his diagnosis. It’s hard to believe because autism is now my life and my work. But yes, at that point, I knew nothing more about it besides a few characters in TV and movies. Henry had a lot of the textbook signs back then:…
Read MoreEvery Autism Mama
I’d like to take a moment, and introduce you to an autism mama. You’ve seen her before, pushing a cart in the grocery store, or holding hands with a teenager in the parking lot. She usually looks tired. Maybe her mouth is pressed into a thin line, her skin a papery white. This autism mama, she might come across as impatient, or abrupt at times. Try not to take it personally. She has formed a kind of shell, you see—a layer to protect herself against well-meaning comments about behavior and…
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