Posts Tagged ‘autism parenting’
An Apology to My Children
To my children – my little marvels, I am writing you this letter to tell you how sorry I am. But first and foremost I want you to know that I love you. You may already know by the time you read this that I am not the best communicator. I am generally quite articulate, I use long words and I can talk about complex issues. However, I am not good at making general conversation and I do not find it easy to talk about my feelings. Both of these…
Read MoreLook For the Silver Lining
So many things could be said about the lack of “sunshine” surrounding a diagnosis such as Autism Spectrum Disorder. It’s labeled as rigid. And scary. And lonely. And most people (including us early on) are uneducated about ASD. Simply because it is thought to be almost “taboo”. In our case, we went through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining… all of them). Then you do yourself a favor, and you arm yourself with knowledge. Suddenly, the sky clears up, and you come around to the “acceptance” stage. I…
Read MoreSomewhere in the Middle Of Hope
Most days you can find me somewhere in the middle of hope at the intersection of not knowing what I’m doing nor where I’m going. This is the life I’ve grown accustomed to-the autism life. Covid-19 isn’t my first “new normal” receiving an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis for my son three years ago was. In an instant our priorities and responsibilities changed, our entire world was rocked as we knew it by autism. My son Stalen was diagnosed on the spectrum at twenty-one months. He is considered non-verbal. Today, he is a…
Read More“Looks Like You Had A Great Time”
Today our family went for a boat ride. When we finally docked after being on the water for a few hours, a sweet older gentleman walked by, saw our three adorable kids and said…’looks like you had a great time?!’ Jamie and I both looked at him and said unanimously…’oh no! It was awful.’ But we said it with a smile and a laugh and the man couldn’t help but laugh with us. See, it was 57 degrees, windy, cloudy and cold. I had thought it would be a beautiful…
Read MoreTo Any Special Needs Parent Who’s Having One Of Those Days
Dear Special Needs Parent, I know some days are tough. You are beaten down. Your child is having a meltdown. Your teenager is having challenges at school and your young adult is desperately trying to be placed in a job or find somewhere to live. No matter what the obstacle is, we’ve all been there, special need parent or not. We want to run away at times because we wonder to ourselves “Will it get better? CAN it get better?” Your son can’t be bathed because of the texture of…
Read MoreSix More Years
On this day, six years ago we were so confident in our adoption journey, we shared that we had been chosen. As I look at us and who we were, I see so much more than two rested soon to be parents. I remember the tears, the years and the struggle to become parents. I remember the decade of living with an empty crib as various agencies told us we were ready and waiting. The dreams of what it would be like. Mostly, I remember the joy that filled my…
Read MoreI Forgot About Autism
Hey autism. We forgot about you for a minute. Here we were just living life. Going about our days like “normal” people. Til’ this morning. I had a need for a good coffee and the girls wanted a milkshake so because things have been so “zen” around here, my silly guard was down and we went to the dome. As if we could just do the”get in the car” and “go sit in a restaurant” thing. I forgot. We got out of the car and immediately Rory bolted. I ran…
Read MoreEvery Part of You
I stand in the darkAt the side of your bedBeckoning your anxiety away Reassuring you I’m here-You’re safeYou’re lovedYou’re not alone Midnight hours tick away The morning will soon greet us I askAre you feeling sickHurtAre you afraid My questions are met with your silenceLeft suspended in the air You fall asleepBut not for longSleep never visits long I’m at the front line Fighting your silent warA war-Locked somewhere deep inside of you Sometimes its not so silent Its loud screamsHiding in small, dark spacesHysteriaHead bangingDangerous Self harmingEloping Isolation Sometimes there is no warIt’s Thomas the…
Read MoreSometimes, We Argue
Hey buddy, I am sorry you heard Daddy and I argue tonight. I know it’s scary. But sometimes, people disagree. No, no one is getting a divorce. I promise. I have known your father since I was nineteen years old. Yes, that’s right, back in 1994. We went to the same college, but we actually met in a restaurant, where we both worked. It was the end of August, right before classes started. No, I don’t remember what I had for lunch that afternoon. No, I can’t remember what day…
Read MoreFor Every Autism Mama
For the mama who has just heard the very words that split her heart in half. He has autism. For the woman is lost amid a tidal wave of appointments, and meetings, and therapy sessions—who thinks longingly back to the days of high heels, and boardrooms, and a paycheck. I get it. The mama who longs for a crystal ball to know the unknowable. Will he learn to talk, or read, or drive, or work? Will he graduate, or have a career, or get married? Who will take care of…
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