As Autism Awareness Month Comes to a Close

As we come to the end of Autism Awareness Month, I feel inclined to write this.  I have read opinions from both sides of the fence on this topic that are in abundance lately (probably something to do with Autism Awareness Month, ya think?), so I feel the need to offer up my two cents.  I know you can hardly contain yourself! I, like many other autism parents, follow a lot of Facebook support pages and other social media pages for parents who have children on the spectrum, as well as various other bloggers.  I have seen several…

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What Is Versus What Should Have Been

There is an emotion that lives inside me now that I can’t really describe. It’s a mix of heartache, anxiety, helplessness and a feeling of being overwhelmed. There is actually a term for it. It’s called “Chronic Sorrow”. I feel sometimes like I live a double life. One with my older girls and friends being myself and another in this adaptive world we have created for our daughter Isla. Even when I am away from autism…I still feel like I live it. There is no escape and I have changed. I…

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After Thoughts…

As a parent, we have hopes and dreams for our children. I would lay in bed, watching my daughter sleep and smile just picturing the woman she would one day become. I saw an independent career woman, an amazing mother, a loving wife—I saw her living life to the fullest—enjoying every moment. Autism changed those dreams overnight. When Kya received her autism diagnosis, a flood of emotions washed over me that my mind and body could simply not handle. As the fog slowly began to clear, I was tasked to understand…

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When You’re Afraid to Say the Words Aloud

I like to think that after 14 years of living with autism, I’ve learned a few things. I read, and still read, everything I come across about the subject. When my oldest daughter was diagnosed in 2005, I spent a good year doing every possible intervention or “cure” there was.  Mind you this was the time before social media and Jenny McCarthy’s book was one of the few books offering recovery. Defeat Autism Now (DAN) doctors provided the needed medical intervention including hyperbaric chambers, yeast detox, allergy testing, diet changes…

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Autism is Not My Friend Today

Truthfully, autism is never my friend, but today was one of those days where I wanted to punch autism in the face. Triggers have always been a part of our autism world. As much as we try to avoid them, they rear their ugly little heads often, and all too often when we least expect it. Our eleven-year-old daughter Lilly was diagnosed just before she turned three, and over the last eleven years, we have seen triggers come and go. Most of her early triggers stemmed from her OCD. She…

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Diagnosing Autism in Girls…Not So Easy

I’ve learned that girls with autism are better at masking their symptoms than boys. They are able to watch social situations between people, and then copy what is being done. So, when they have their own situation arise, they are often just using what they have learned from seeing other people interact. Also, girls with autism usually have special interests but they are more in line with typical girls their age. But when you look closely, they are much more intense about them than typical girls. Before my daughter Lillian…

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The Isolation of an Autism Parent

Being an autism parent is extremely isolating. I can say that I don’t have a tribe. I don’t have a group of mom friends to hang out with, who will be there when I need to vent or to even vent about their struggles. I don’t like to just wallow in our struggles. It is what it is, but it’s nice to hear what’s going on in other people’s lives, happy or sad. I want to give advice and listen to someone and celebrate their victories. I have a couple…

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A Letter to my Daughter, You’ve Come So Far

Dear Emma, my beautiful daughter. You just turned three and a half and I still wait to hear a word…any word… from your sweet little mouth. You will be four soon and I can’t help but think back to that day. The day I was told you were autistic and ‘that you might never learn to speak.’ I have heard that sentence so many times now you’d think I would be able to just brush it off. Be over it. But every time I hear it, it flaws me. I…

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The Diagnosis: My Daughter has Autism

Sadie has autism. She doesn’t make eye contact. She is in her own world and doesn’t notice anyone around her. She doesn’t speak. She’s not potty trained. She doesn’t know how to play “appropriately” with toys. She’s regressed. She may never be independent. She can’t sit still. She has sensory issues. Sadie has autism. The words coming from Sadie’s pediatric specialist that day made my stomach turn. She diagnosed her within minutes of meeting her. It was so obvious to her that Sadie has autism and it was something I…

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