Posts Tagged ‘autism family’
If Only My Parents Knew This
My mom and dad raised three children. My sister, Lauren, was the first-born, and then came my brother, Aaron, and lastly, me. My sister has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is a high functioning form of autism, diagnosed at the age of four. Like any daughter, there are things I wished my parents did differently. I wished they never got a divorce, I wished they worked together instead of spent their days fighting, and I wished they were able to take a step back from autism so that they could evaluate our…
Read MoreAt Almost Thirty, it Suddenly Feels Different.
This week is my birthday. I will be 27 years old. Almost 30 as my best friend keeps jokingly reminding me. I’ve always loved birthdays. I used to celebrate for the whole entire month. This year though, the thought of my birthday can bring me to tears. I find myself wondering, where has all of the time gone? When I got divorced, at 22, I was just a kid. I remember thinking, I have all the time in the world. I don’t need a man, anyway. I can do it all…
Read MoreThere is so Much Beauty
I think about the beginning sometimes. When I first heard the word autism. It was in a lunch-and-learn at the nonprofit I worked at. I was eating a sandwich, minimally paying attention, when the woman started describing signs of autism in toddlers. As she ticked off a list of traits, I did everything I could to keep my cool. The only sign of my internal panic being the flush that turned my cheeks and neck a deep red. I could feel the heat radiating from my face. She was describing…
Read MoreA Friday Smile
All three of my boys have fallen in love with random objects throughout their life. And also, slept with them. Cooper used to sleep with 8×10 photos of our family. And puzzles. And 12 blankets. Sawyer used to sleep with you swords and nerf guns. He also wore a swimsuit every day for over a year. His reasoning, he wanted to be ready to go swimming if someone asked. And Harbor? Well, he has been known to sleep with monster trucks, Nerf Guns, a hockey stick, shovels, bey blades, and…
Read MoreWhy Special Needs Mom’s Need to Find Their Tribe
I remember being in college and hanging out with friends all the time. You had your education friends, the friends you made during Freshman orientation. If someone was walking down the hall talking about Skyline Chili or LaRosa’s Pizza you’d hop in the car with them and go. Those were the good old days. The fun days. Then you get married and have kids and all of sudden your life is so unrecognizable and somehow during labor you forget how to make friends. It becomes this awkward thing. Where you…
Read MoreThe “R” Word
Okay guys let’s talk about something…. The ‘R’ word. You all know the word I’m talking about. I want to ask you a favor…will you please erase this word from your vocabulary? For me. For my darling Oaklan. For every other special needs family in our neurodiverse world. So many people use the ‘R’ word as an off the cuff comment without a single thought to the long term effects it can have on someone. But I’m here to tell you, every single time a special needs family member hears…
Read MoreA Letter to the Struggling Autism Mama
I see you, and I feel your heartache. I understand that every single day is a back and forth balance of finding the joy and grieving the life you thought your child would have. Your days are now filled with therapy appointments, IEP meetings, arguments with insurance and sleep deprivation. You are now leading a team of educators and therapists that you didn’t sign up for, or ask to be a part of. But you know it has to be done. Own your seat at that table, you are important.…
Read MoreOnly in My Dreams
Sometimes it hits me when I least expect it. I was sitting in front of my computer reading my son’s high school athletic Facebook group post. “Any parent of a boy or girl in grades 3-6 interested in volunteering as a water boy/girl for the varsity football team, please respond.” So I went to that imaginary place in my mind. I pictured my daughter on the sidelines holding the rack of water bottles proudly watching her brother and his teammates play football. She smiled excitedly as the whistle blew and…
Read MoreMy Husband, We are Perfectly Imperfect
My Husband. I love him with all my heart. Every fiber of my being. I have loved him since I was 16 years old. I don’t really know anything else. And to be honest, sometimes I don’t even like him. We don’t see eye to eye on many things. We fight a lot. He doesn’t think the the things I think are important matter. At all. And frankly, it irritates me. Can’t he pretend to go along? He will humor me, but still, not happily. We have never had a…
Read MoreWaiting For Sister
Our fourth baby is due in 93 days. Not that I’m counting or anything. Although pregnancy in your late 30’s during a pandemic and a Minnesota winter with three wild boys is no joke. I’m trying to enjoy it. And I am. But tick tock over here. Yesterday, as I was attempting to sneak a few minutes of alone time midday, my two older boys made their way into my room. They always find me. Sawyer pulled up a pillow and a blanket next to me and began watching a…
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