Posts Tagged ‘autism blog’
What Autism Stole From Me As a Mother
I will openly admit that the hardest part of the Autism mom journey for me was missing out on milestones, typical parts of childhood development and overall special moments with my son. I dreamt of first words and teaching him to ride a bike and our first camping trip. I didn’t get most of them and if I did they were usually really upsetting for all of us. And at my lowest, saddest times, typically after an event like the first day of kindergarten or his birthday, I even felt…
Read MoreTo the Friend who Stood by Me
I called you today, friend. You knew today was the day. The day of the appointment. You told me that whatever the outcome I should call right away, or at least text. You said you would be right over. Like the true friend that you are you said I could cry and drink wine and we could either talk about my stress and fear or just sit and do nothing. Either way you would listen. I want to thank you for that. I needed it. Just knowing that you care…
Read MoreDear Mom, I Read Your Letter Today
A few days ago I shared a letter I wrote for my son Sawyer. You can read it HERE. It was a toughie to share. It was brutally honest. It was real. And I really put myself out there. I purged every ounce of worry and self-doubt that I have about raising an autistic child alongside a typical child. Let’s get something straight. Cooper is an amazing little boy. He is funny and sweet and brings more joy than I can put into words. But…it’s different for me. I am…
Read MoreAutistic Kids Grow Up To Be Autistic Adults. And It Can Be Wonderful.
Before my son was diagnosed with ASD I would frantically search out stories, blogs and articles of hope. Stories where it turned out NOT to be autism. Stories where instead of autism the child was actually deaf. Or allergic to gluten. Or whatever. These stories had happy outcomes. I did this because the stories of autism-to-life scared me to no end. I wasn’t ready yet. Then he was diagnosed and even more ferociously I searched for stories were the child was cured. The child had autism and the parents started…
Read MoreI Can’t Fix My Son
I shared a video last night on Facebook and I can’t believe the overwhelming support I’ve received.Thank you to every single person that messaged me or left me a comment. Just reading the words, ‘I understand,’ is more therapy than I can describe. Knowing that people out there understand is amazing. It makes me feel less alone. So, what was the event that caused my crash? Well, we had an evaluation for Cooper yesterday at an autism center. I am looking for options that will replace public education. I am…
Read MoreAcceptance: A Video Blog
Sharing on a tough topic this morning. I’ve been scared to share this video blog because it’s very real and raw but I know that other parents need to hear these words. It’s OK to be sad. It’s OK to admit that it’s hard. And it’s OK to grieve all the things you won’t do as a special needs parent. You are human. https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/792431380899325/
Read MoreAn Autism Christmas
Christmas is supposed to be a joyful time. Pre-autism it was my favorite. I love the decorations and the food and the family. The snow. The coziness. The children opening presents. The list goes on. Christmas was my favorite. It’s different now. Just like everything post autism. There are too many expectations. I used to get sick to my stomach just thinking about it approaching. Except now I have a wild and rambunctious 3 year old who LOVES Christmas. He talks about Santa non-stop and how he is going to…
Read MoreThe Uphill Battle of Being a Caregiver
I cried on my way to work this morning. Not because I was sad. I cried because being Cooper’s mom turns me into someone I don’t like. I feel trapped. And alone. And so utterly overwhelmed. And like I need to make threats to make his life easier. I don’t ever feel like I’m doing enough. Or the right thing. The special education system is a constant uphill fight with a 200 lb pack on your back and no food or water. Nothing comes easy. Not one part of it.…
Read MoreI Do It For Me
Well, he’s off to his first day of school. The bus driver and aide were amazing. They pulled up, opened the door, and shouted out….’is there a Cooper here that needs a ride to school?‘ Cooper of course turned and ran the other way laughing and giggling. So, in true Swenson fashion, I brought him flailing and kicking to the bus. He was in good spirits though. I hugged him goodbye this morning and whispered in his ear….‘Be brave sweet boy. You got this.’ And he laughed and laughed and…
Read MoreI Am So Proud Of Cooper…
As someone affiliated with Autism I have noticed if I browse through Pinterest or Facebook or any of the dozen support groups I am part of there is often a common theme….having a special needs child changes your life. Or defines you as a parent. Or teaches you lessons and makes you a better person. I’ll be honest. I don’t feel that way yet. I haven’t ever actually. Every day is more like an episode of Ground Hogs day. He typically wakes up before 5 am. My anxiety about him…
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