Posts Tagged ‘autism blog’
It’s the Little Things that Matter
You think the big things are the most important. The ones that will make the most impact. Saying words. Making a friend. Joining a team. Going to school. Graduating. Those are the milestones we work towards. Right? And yes, of course they are important. But as I grow into being the best mom for my son, and watch him grow into himself, I realize it’s the little things that make the biggest difference in our world. That make the most impact on our every day life and sanity. A smile.…
Read MoreHello 3 AM, We Meet Again
Hello 3 am. We meet again. I can’t remember the last time I slept fully and peacefully without seeing you and getting stuck here in these lonely early hours, while the rest of the world sleeps. I’m not sure what wakes me, maybe it’s a dream. Or maybe my brain is just more active at this time of the morning, when everyone else is still sleeping and the quiet space gives me time for the anxieties and worries to creep in. I am blessed with a good sleeper. My almost…
Read MoreKids who Hurt and the Parents who Love Them
I noticed the little girl right away. 7 or 8 maybe. She was sitting in a chair, on an iPad. Quietly. She had curls. Blonde ones. She was stunning really. I was waiting for my son and impatient. I had a million things to do and lately it felt like I was spending a lot of time in waiting rooms. I heard it before I saw it. The sounds. Like an animal. The iPad hit the table. The girl sprung out of her seat, ran and dived onto the little…
Read MoreHis Secret World
This has always been our special place. It’s the one place I could bring both boys from an early age. It’s the one place that my nonstop moving boy would sit. He would be still. Sifting sand. And my younger son could play too, finding friends within seconds. And I could stop holding my breath. Even just for a minute. Cooper would look at the beach and choose a spot as far away from the kids as possible. He’d hunch over. And enter his happy place. Sawyer would look at…
Read MoreYou Have a Really Nice Family
My step-mom died recently. Of cancer. The really bad one. Although I know there are no good versions of cancer. Pancreatic. The survival rate is almost zero. I learned that after I googled. No one would say it out loud. It ate her alive right before our eyes. She went from a larger-than-life, loud, happy, busy woman to a shell. To a 67 year old woman in a nursing home bed. 14 months is all it took. 14 months to eat someone alive. Sawyer recently asked me why it did…
Read MoreLooking into the Future
We chatted today. I was the mom next to you in the neurologists office with the two redheaded girls. Even if my girls weren’t loud and imposing in small spaces, I’m sure you would still remember us. I saw you watching them as you nervously waited for your appointment. And after seeing your beautiful little girl, I’m pretty sure we share more than a love of Wawa frozen cappuccinos. As your little lady sat on the floor with her kindle, I’m guessing I saw more than most moms would in this…
Read MoreTake the Picture
To the mama whose baby isn’t starting school today. To the parent who is wondering if they should take the picture. And wondering if they should celebrate just another day. To the dad whose sending some kids back to school but not the others. To the parent feeling a twinge of sadness today. Or a lot. I understand Your child doesn’t go to a typical school. They go to therapy. There are no grade levels. Just continuous time. Or maybe they do but they aren’t really in a grade. On…
Read MoreTo my Fellow Target Shopper
“You are a little too big to be sitting in there don’t you think?” So said the elderly woman at Target, with a chuckle and a wink, to my Isla as she sat with her knees grazing her chest in the shopping cart. I was tired. My body, my spirit, tired. The summer has been so long. I had zero make-up on but I had brushed my teeth, put a cap on to hide my unkept hair and managed sufficient deodorant swipes so I was totally winning the day in…
Read MoreNo Autism, Just Love
“Today has been tough. Aubrey has told me all day long, “I don’t want a brother.” Multiple times, and always very serious and sad. I asked her why she felt that way and she said, “Because he just cries too much.” I froze. Aside from wanting to tell her that she does the same and yet we still keep her around, I decided to give her grace instead. I tried to explain to her why her brother gets upset sometimes, and has a hard time staying calm, and that it’s…
Read MoreYou are Enough Moms and Dads
As a mom to a little boy with severe, nonverbal autism, I spend more time than I would like to admit wondering if this is all going to be okay. Will my son be okay and safe and thrive in a world that isn’t designed for him? I wonder if I am doing enough for him? Heck, I wonder if I am enough for him? And I’ve learned one thing. At our darkest, lowest points in life, something beautiful will happen. Something unbelievable. Something that will rejuvenate you. Give you…
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