Posts Tagged ‘autism blog’
Every Part of You
I stand in the darkAt the side of your bedBeckoning your anxiety away Reassuring you I’m here-You’re safeYou’re lovedYou’re not alone Midnight hours tick away The morning will soon greet us I askAre you feeling sickHurtAre you afraid My questions are met with your silenceLeft suspended in the air You fall asleepBut not for longSleep never visits long I’m at the front line Fighting your silent warA war-Locked somewhere deep inside of you Sometimes its not so silent Its loud screamsHiding in small, dark spacesHysteriaHead bangingDangerous Self harmingEloping Isolation Sometimes there is no warIt’s Thomas the…
Read MoreConversations with a 4-year-old About her Brother’s Autism
A few months ago, Charlie, my 4-year-old daughter, yelled from across the room, “Mommy, look!” Her older brother, who doesn’t tend to pay her much attention, was hugging her. She said, “Does this mean he loves me now?” My heart broke. Confession: I am a bit of a hypocrite. I advocate for autism awareness and everyone talking to their children about autism and I really hadn’t done it myself with my neurotypical child. We talk about differences and kindness and why everyone we meet is special, but we hadn’t had…
Read MoreMy Sweet Boy, Mama is Happy
My Sweet Boy, Last night we went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was supposed to be me, you, your two brothers and Dad. A family walk. But, well, it didn’t go as planned. But what does these days I guess. If autism and a global pandemic has taught us one thing it’s…’hold on.’ I wouldn’t say it’s been all bad though. I would even dare to say that our family has gotten stronger through all of this. Spending 24 hours a day together for eternity will do that.…
Read MoreThe Corner of the Waiting Room
Let me tell you all about how a corner in a waiting room became my home today. I took my son Gianni to therapy for a 1:45 appointment. We arrived at 1:30. When we arrived they said it wasn’t until 2. We are in the lobby. Gianni is acting insane. His body won’t stay in one place. He’s screaming the most highest pitched scream he can manage. It’s a very small waiting room. EVERYONE, and I mean everyone, is staring at us. I tell him to use his inside voice.…
Read MoreOur Dream Home
We moved this past spring. My husband and I found the perfect place. Five acres, off the road, down a long winding lane lined with trees, no neighbors, surrounded by nothing but farm fields. The property boasts a three car garage with a spare room on top. A barn that’s been gutted and restored, as well as a fish pond that is spring fed. The previous owners planted fruit trees- apples, pears, peaches, and cherries. Grapes hang from the vine, begging to be picked. It only gets better. The inside…
Read MoreWhat Autism Has Taught Me
I never planned on having a child with a disability. I planned my education and career around helping others through things like this, never dreaming in my wildest dreams it would personally affect me. But…. I wouldn’t trade Jackson or his diagnosis for anything in this world. When you hear people who have children with disabilities say their child is their greatest teacher in life, believe them. They have this beautiful way of helping us see life for what it should be. Simple. Purposeful. Full of wonder and of lots…
Read MoreWhat a Wonderful World
What a Wonderful World, by Louis Armstrong. A beautiful song. I danced to it with my father at my wedding. Recently, I watched a friend dance with his mother to that exact song at his wedding. Her face beamed with pride. He had the biggest grin the entire time they danced together. I bet in that moment she was remembering that same boyish grin she watched transform from a toothless smile as a baby, to a snaggle toothed little boy, to braces as a teen and now this handsome son…
Read MoreA Promposal 15 Years in the Making
A single act of kindness may seem isolated in the moment, but kindness often paves the way for beautiful things to happen for years to come. Sometimes this beauty may not be revealed until over a decade later. At least this was the case with my daughter, Lizzie, a boy named Sam, and kindness shown to me by his mom, Angie. I was introduced to Angie in a state of desperation. I had just been told some unsettling news by a speech pathologist family friend. “Your daughter is showing all the…
Read MoreToo Familiar
Doesn’t all of this feel oddly familiar to you? So terrified of the future. Haven’t you felt that before? The fear of the unknown? Continual anxiety caused by the ultimate invisible boogey man we call… time. When will this change? How long will this last? When will this get better? Almost too familiar. So many questions but no one has concrete answers. Actually, let me rephrase. No one has answers that make sense to my non-expert brain. Information is flooding in fast but it is all so confusing and contradictory…
Read MoreThe Autism Merry-Go-Round
Some days, it feels like we are climbing onto the exact same merry-go-round that we were on yesterday, and the day before that and the one before that. The same music, same speed, same smells, and my son would undoubtedly choose the same horse to ride every single time. We continue, round and round, stuck on a loop. Sounds peaceful, right? Until the song changes, an undesirable sound or image comes into the loop. Or the lights are too bright or too dim. Something familiar is missing, out of place…
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