I Am That Mom

I am that mom. The one you see running around at the park, covered in sweat, and continuously redoing her pony tail. The one climbing to the top of the jungle gym and sliding down with a kiddo between her legs. I See You I can see you out of the corner of my eye sitting with a group of women leisurely drinking your coffee. I see you watching me. We’ve bumped into each other a few times.  I know you are a lovely person. You smile and wave. I…

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8 Ways to Prepare Now for Your Autistic Child’s Future

A few months ago my autistic, but otherwise extremely healthy child was denied life insurance. I was shocked and confused. When Cooper was born, in preparation for college, Jamie and I started a savings plan for the him that could be converted into dollars for college tuition. Smart right?! Recently, I received a letter in the mail that notified us that Cooper was denied coverage. I was irate. Autism is not a death sentence. My son is healthy. He has no medical conditions. An At-Risk Life After following up I…

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My Worry as an Autism Mom and Why It Never Rests

Parenting a child with special needs is so much more than helicopter parenting. It is never taking your shoes off, being ready to run, casing every room, knowing every exit and danger, being drenched in sweat, never sitting, searching your child’s body for marks or bruises, up all night worrying, parenting. It consumes me at times. And deep down I worry that it is destroying me. It’s not like it happened overnight. It was an evolution. I am a pretty chill person. My kids fall and I wait for the…

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Ramblings of an Autism Mom Around Acceptance

My favorite topic to blog about! I’ve been noticing a trend. Every morning for the past few weeks I wake up to dozens of emails from parents looking for hope, help and guidance. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. I did the exact same thing when Cooper was younger. I would stay up late…usually after some sort of meltdown or a particularity hard day. And I would search for a blog where the child reminded me of Cooper. And  I would reach out. And in a really weird way I would feel guilty…

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Dear Mom, I Read Your Letter Today

A few days ago I shared a letter I wrote for my son Sawyer. You can read it HERE.  It was a toughie to share. It was brutally honest. It was real. And I really put myself out there. I purged every ounce of worry and self-doubt that I have about raising an autistic child alongside a typical child. Let’s get something straight. Cooper is an amazing little boy. He is funny and sweet and brings more joy than I can put into words. But…it’s different for me. I am…

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A Letter To My Other Son…The Sibling To A Special Needs Child

My little peanut, Today is your fourth birthday bud. How can that be? I look at you running and jumping with your friends and it’s hard for me not to cry. You are amazing. I am so proud to be your mom. I need you to know that. I want to tell you a few things. I know you won’t understand them now. And that’s OK. But someday, when mom is old and grey, I want you to read this letter. I want you to know I am sorry. And…

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I Can’t Fix My Son

I shared a video last night on Facebook and I can’t believe the overwhelming support I’ve received.Thank you to every single person that messaged me or left me a comment. Just reading the words, ‘I understand,’ is more therapy than I can describe. Knowing that people out there understand is amazing. It makes me feel less alone. So, what was the event that caused my crash? Well, we had an evaluation for Cooper yesterday at an autism center. I am looking for options that will replace public education. I am…

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Diaper Options for a 6 Year Old

Hey all, One question I am continuously asked is what kind of diapers we use for Cooper. He is a big boy weighing in at 60 lbs. He currently wears a size 7 diaper. Cooper’s diapers are covered by his Medical Assistance. As far as I understand, and this may vary by state, a child with an autism diagnosis who is covered under medical assistance gets free diapers after the age of four. That’s what I was told. We had to figure this out for ourselves. Meaning a fellow parent…

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Why I Gave Up Hope

I just changed my six year old’s diaper. It was messy. There was poop dripping down his leg. It was on his jeans. His socks. The poop got on my hand, couch and carpet. As I was changing him he gave me a swift kick to the groin that took my breath away. This is the side of autism that no one talks about. I almost started to cry. I’ve been awake since 3:30 am. I haven’t slept through the night in months. I’m exhausted. And I let myself think,…

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A Day In Cooper’s Life: Autism in Pictures

I am very vocal about the stress that goes hand and hand with being an autism parent. It’s a topic that isn’t always talked about. I want to change that. Autism is hard. Unbelievably hard. I have post-traumatic stress from it. For one it’s often extremely loud. For me it’s Cooper’s screeches mixed in with the constant sounds coming from his devices. And my little guy loves it LOUD. Really LOUD. I’ve tried covering the speakers with tape. He rips it off. I’ve tried headphones. He refuses to wear them.…

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