I Stopped Talking To Cooper A Long Time Ago

Yesterday Cooper’s Crisis Intervention Social Worker came over for our weekly visit. I have so much to write about that and will at some point. He has given me more valuable advice than any single person, blog, doctor, etc., throughout this journey. He has helped me and my family. And in turn I want to share that with you peeps. But, per the usual, I am days behind at work and working from home in a disgusting house with dirty dishes, dog hair and a pile of laundry that would…

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Most Of All, I Teach You Giving

This. Always this. I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated. If you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life. I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you. I teach you giving. Most of all, I teach you hope and faith.

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I See You…Perfect For Today

I am so glad I saw this today. On the way to work this morning I was thinking about how hard it is to raise babies. It’s exhausting and challenging and tiring and wonderful and amazing. For any of you that know me you probably saw on Facebook that Sawyer put sand in my lawn mower gas tank last night. And then stripped down naked and ran around my front yard destroying plants. As I chased him around  my yard screaming I had a silent chuckle at the neighbors watching…

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Being Thankful For What Autism Has Given Me

Yesterday I spent the whole day with my boys. Alone. Stuck in the house. It was glorious and exactly what I needed to recharge my life. I chose to clean and paint and play and organize and do laundry and unpack. So, a very typical Sunday at my house. As I did each of my manic tasks my little Sawyerbean tagged along. Where ever I went…he went. He offered to help with every single chore I was doing. He made messes. He asked questions. He spent a good majority of…

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A Super Cooper Update

I haven’t given an old fashioned Cooper update in a long time. I remember reading updates when I used to follow a lot of autism blogs and comparing my kiddo to theirs. I would be like, Cooper can do that but wait, oh, shit, he can’t do that. It was good and bad. So, don’t do that. No comparing. Each kiddo is different. Language: No words at all. He doesn’t even have a sound for a word. Nothing consistent at all. That’s hard. I always wanted him to make a…

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A Good Reminder

When Cooper wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to my bed he touches my face. He usually rubs my forehead and lays his hand on my cheek. It is so gentle that sometimes it takes me a second to register he is even there. Although he struggles with social cues, emotions, showing love, controlling his anger, etc., he is hands down the sweetest child I have ever met. I can’t even summarize his innocence with words. I don’t know how people could give up. It’s just…

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Joining the Club

I received an email from a fellow autism parent. It was so raw I actually cried when I read it. I wanted to crawl through the computer and hug this person. It resonated with me so deeply. This person reads my blog so I know they will see that I used their email. I just can’t stop thinking about it. I could have written this myself. I so get it friend. I read it this morning. I actually stumbled across it in my junk mail folder. I almost missed it.…

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Deciding to Be Brave

I had a friend ask me yesterday what made me decide to be brave. I love that question. I don’t feel brave. Ever. I feel afraid. And unheard. And lost. And completely unprepared and unequipped to handle what autism is throwing my way. But this sweet friend of mine saw it as bravery. And I loved her for it. I was filling her in on the whirlwind of the last week. I had my mini meltdown at Cooper’s pediatrician. I demanded that he helped me. I was a cross between…

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Not Artistic…AUTISTIC!

Cooper’s stomach issues are returning in full force. Although his demeanor is as sunny as usual he still isn’t pooping. Sigh. I am doing my part. I am being diligent with increasing his water intake, removing junk from his diet, introducing new foods, etc. When I choose a battle I stick with it. And it’s working. So great. But as of yesterday he hadn’t pooped in 5 five days and even started waking up in the middle of the night again. So, that tells me that although diet is important,…

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I Am Not Above Bribery

Over the weekend I made a plan. I prioritized my mountains and I decided to put personal things on the back burner for a bit. I don’t need to exercise right now. I don’t need to paint Sawyer’s pink room. I don’t need to unpack every single box in this new house. All of that can wait. PS. How cute is that room!?!? What I need to do is figure out Cooper’s diet. I decided that he is going to join us at the dinner table for all meals when…

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