Posts Tagged ‘autism and nonverbal’
Seeing Autism Through Your Eyes
I don’t think about autism really. Not anymore. Or about my son being different than his peers. He doesn’t have a label at home. Or even a diagnosis. We don’t speak in clinical talk or point out how he is different from other 11 year old kids. He is Cooper. He is not autistic Cooper. He is not nonverbal Cooper. He is himself. Perfectly made and one of my four kids. I think that’s the beautiful part that comes with settling into a lifelong diagnosis. In the beginning, the differences…
Read MoreThe Gift of Sight
When I used to think about autism, back when it was a word used to describe someone else’s child, and eventually when our son was first diagnosed, I used to think about the differences. Autism meant he would be different. And that made me so scared for him. Because I knew the world could be unkind. I would hyper focus at 3 am or while in the shower on all the ‘nevers.’ The differences. The challenges. The worries that would drop me to my knees. He may never talk. He…
Read MoreIs He Happy?
‘Everyone has a different idea of what happiness looks like.’ Is my son happy? I think about that a lot. As do many parents of children who struggle to communicate. Who can’t show us. For a lot of years I honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. At age 5 my son didn’t laugh or smile much. He didn’t enjoy leaving our house. At home, he isolated himself a lot. He didn’t play or interact really. He was full of anxiety, only we didn’t know because anytime we asked…
Read MoreThe Air was Filled With Sounds
I just got home from a car ride with my son Cooper. A rare time where it was just the two of us. The ride, taking 30 minutes, was joyful. He showed me an excavator. An airplane. And more than a dozen semi trucks. He moo’d at cows. Showed me a fire truck on his Kindle screen. And then tapped his chest, letting me know that he wants to ride a fire truck. He danced. And waved. He giggled at penguins on his screen before showing me how they waddle.…
Read MoreWe Have to Fight
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the paths that each of my children will take as they grow up. Three sons and a daughter. Ranging from 11 to 9 months. Cooper, my oldest, well, it’s been complicated. So many daycare’s until we finally couldn’t find one to take him anymore. Then starting in the school district at age 3, multiple day programs, IEP meetings, transportation to and from, trusting the world with my tiny, yet mighty, nonspeaking, spirited, child who could hardly hold up his backpack. I waved goodbye…
Read MoreA Letter to My Little Brother
A letter to my little brother… Hey brother, I’m hoping that someday I can say this all to you. But there is a chance that I might never be able too…I’m hoping that when you are older you will read this and understand. I know I confuse you. I’m so loud. I flap my arms. I don’t notice toys. Or play sports. Or like to leave our house. I don’t play like you. I have never ridden a bike and I don’t care at all about hockey. And I know…
Read MoreNow I Want Strong and Happy
I just spent two whole days in a swim suit at a water park. At 38 years old. As a mother of four. And I found myself remembering back when. Back when I rocked a bikini and had no insecurities. I saw fit people and bigger people and thin people and athletic people. Some were covered in tattoos and some with piercings. Some were in one piece swimsuits and some in bikinis. Some were covered up and some were not. Some were confident and owned it and some were not.…
Read More“Disabled Orphans Fleeing Kyviv”
The article about Ukraine read: “Disabled orphans fleeing Kyiv received by Poles, Hungarians.” I was scrolling Facebook, two of my three kids snuggled up on the couch next to me. My baby was at my feet playing blocks. And my oldest, sleeping. He had a long day. A tiring one. “While many of those fleeing are able-bodied adults, choosing to brave long and sometimes dangerous journeys to bring themselves and their families to safety, other Ukrainians are at the mercy of their caregivers to deliver them out of danger.” I…
Read MoreWe Will Figure it out Together
My son, Today was one of those days. One where you seemed confused by the world. One where I didn’t know how to help. Or fix it. Autism. Woven into everything you do. Into the way you think and see and react. Only I can’t see what you see. Or hear what you hear. Or feel what you feel. Today I felt confused. Much like any parent does I suppose. I know your brothers confuse me daily too. But with you, the stakes feel a bit higher. The rules a…
Read MoreFive Things I Want You to Know About My Autistic Son
Hi there, my name is Kate. You found your way to my page. Well, Cooper’s page. The yellow haired boy from Minnesota who loves trains and smells like the wind. I am not autistic. But my son is. I don’t understand everything about him. But I’m learning. And here are the five things I want you to know about my son if you were to meet him at the grocery store or in line at Target. 1. He is a person. There is this interesting thing that happens when a…
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