Posts Tagged ‘apraxia’
Loving Ourselves Through The Process
I’ve been getting to know a lot of other autism mama’s and as we share our stories there are always some common threads. One is the weight of autism. Wherever you are in the journey you can still feel the weight of having a special needs kiddo. And the weight of the unknown. Sometimes I can’t breathe because I am so scared. Another is the loneliness. And I don’t mean loneliness in the sense of physically being alone because I am never alone. Hell, I haven’t pooped alone in 4 years.…
Read MoreMostly, Autism Is Just Lonely….
You can ask any autism parent about what it’s like to raise a little person with a big diagnosis. You will get many answers about what it’s like. And that’s because there are no two autistic people that are the same. And on top of that, I think parents acknowledge and accept it in different ways. For me autism is frustrating. And exhausting. And heartbreaking. And dreadfully hopeful. And painful. And above all a process. A slow process that crawls along with glimpses of the future. Autism is expensive. And SO…
Read MoreSounds Like Hi To Me
I am pretty sure Cooper says hi in this video. And it also shows Coopers inability to sit still and focus. It ain’t happening folks. He’s all over the place. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqIyYbcJV9o&sns=em
Read More2 Month Update
Cooper has been at Fraser for 2 months. That is absolutely crazy to me. When we considered moving 3 hours away, with the main reason being for his care, I secretly thought it would never work. Not the us part but the school part. Traditional therapy has been a nightmare for Cooper. We started with having the school district in our home, then went to traditional speech and OT at the hospital and then tried ECFE and lastly speech at a specialty clinic for kids with language disorders. ALL FAILURES. That sounds…
Read MoreI'm Sick of Autism Now
I spend a lot of time trying to decipher between what’s normal boy behavior, what’s normal 3 year old behavior and what’s autism. I sorta have this need to know that their are different parts. Trust me, I get that it all runs together but for my own mental state, I tell myself that he isn’t just autistic. There are other parts. But as he gets closer to 4 it’s getting harder to decipher. I am so sick of everything being so dang hard. I just want to be carefree…
Read MoreSubtle Improvements
I’ve noticed that when I get sad about something Cooper related I will miss things. Subtle improvements. I feel like my Cooper emotions are on a cycle. Something will make me sad, I’ll be down for a few days and then one of the boys will remind me how great they are and I’ll dig out. It’s a god damn roller coaster. And yes, my sads are less sad than they used to be. That sounds funny but it’s true. I’m getting stronger and life is going on and it…
Read MoreThe Frantic Sweat
It happened again this weekend. The frantic sweating. And I know every single mom out there with a kiddo like Cooper can relate. Cooper and I spent a lot of time at the beach this past weekend. When we first got there I noticed another mom who looked a lot like me. My age, blonde, 3 young boys, camping. She was me. If I had to guess I would say her boys were probably ages 7, 4 and 2. I am a super observant person and I watched this mom a lot. First,…
Read MoreAn Unlikely Critic
I got really mad at a little girl this weekend. As I write that sentence I realize that you will probably think I’m crazy. And I even made fun of myself after. But, it is what it is. Cooper and I spent the weekend at the lake. (I have more to write about that later.) It was a great weekend. Lots of sun and beach time. My favorite. As we arrived at the beach on Friday afternoon, Cooper let me know that he wanted to swing. There were two bigger…
Read MoreCooper Updates at Age 3 1/2
I realized that I haven’t done an actual Cooper update in a long time. I tend to get very caught up in how I feel about all of this and often my posts take on a sad feel. And I don’t want it to be like that ALL the time. Cooper has come a long way. I know that in my heart and need to remind myself of it daily. He is adorable and so sweet and so loving. He gives and gets a million kisses a day. He enjoys…
Read MoreThere Is No More Hiding
Coopers quirks are showing more every day. There is no more hiding behind age. He is the size of a 4-5 year old. He’s also so loud that blending in isn’t an option either. He is ALWAYS making noise and it’s loud. I am sitting here observing him as he watches his trains. He borders between pure joy and stress. He’s flapping and jumping and making nonstop noise. Think shrieking. Every change to the track or train brings very obvious stress to him. To me, there is zero FUN in…
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