Posts Tagged ‘apraxia’
I am Jealous of My Own Son
Life has been crazy lately. And again, in a way, I love it because I don’t dwell on the little things. I ran a half marathon yesterday and I’ll tell you that one thought crossed my mind a dozen times. ‘One more step and maybe Cooper will talk.’ So silly, right? I can’t help it though. It’s the way my mom brain works. I am his voice. I am strong for him. When the running gets tough I always think of him. Like maybe in God’s spare time he is…
Read MoreThe Lesser Evil
When Cooper was (mis)diagnosed with a moderate hearing loss in both ears at age 2 I thought the world was ending. Dramatic…YES. But, I am an honest person and that is how I felt. I kept picturing him getting teased. He had just turned 2 and it was the beginning of the bad. (although I didn’t know that at the time.) I had a new baby and I was fighting the baby blues and nursing and I was told that my 2 year old would never hear birds chirp or…
Read MoreTough Conversations
Today the school psychologist came to our house to do the final in-person evaluation. Our IEP meeting is set for the day after Memorial Day. We are so damn close. The phsycologist recently observed Cooper at daycare and was shocked at how he acted like a different kid in different settings. I totally get this and could said it until I was blue in the face. I actually gave up trying to tell people becaue I started to sound like a broken record. At the school evaluations Cooper resembles Lucifer. And…
Read MoreCooper Ate A What?
I am a different person lately. I can’t help but think that this is how it should be. I picked the boys up from daycare yesterday and was told that Cooper had am amazing day. He initiated play with the blocks all on his own. And he ate a tuna melt. Um…I can’t get Cooper to eat anything and he eats a whole tuna melt at daycare. And also tried an apple for her. I was walking on air when I left. And no screaming on the way home. Score. And…
Read MoreHolding my Breath During the Good Days
We are having good days. As usual, I am so nervous to type it because I feel like it will jinx it. Cooper is learning, laughing and even improving. I would say around age 2 I started to notice that Cooper either had good days or bad days. I would try to explain it to people but I don’t think they believed me. But now, after creating this circle of other moms like me, I know it is common. Where Sawyer learns something new every single day, Cooper may not…
Read MoreThe Inability to Just Try
There is such a huge difference between ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t.’ Basically trying and failing or refusing to try at all. Cooper refuses to try and it makes me freaking insane. As a parent it is heartbreaking to see your child try and fail. And trust me, I know this firsthand. It seems like every week we are doing one or two evaluations and I watch as cooper fails it all. And then add in the fact that his 15 month old brother is toddling along side him doing it all.…
Read MoreRunning From Your Problems
I can think of a dozen times throughout this journey where I have considered taking my family and moving away. I fantasized that we would buy a cabin on a lake somewhere. Jamie and I would both work from home and we would raise the kids the way we wanted too. I would even homeschool the boys. Doing this seemed so right. Probably because the parent of a special needs child lives in constant Fight or Flight mode. I guess what I am really trying to say is that I fantasize about…
Read MoreI Don't Want To Be Super Mom Today
I was told at the beginning of this process (or maybe it was the middle) that I wasn’t taking the help that was available to me for Cooper. This was said to me by someone pretty close in our lives. She went onto tell me that I was living in denial and I wasn’t get Cooper the help that he needed. When she said this to me it was like one of those slow motion moments where time stops. I could practically see the words hanging in the air. I remember looking at her…
Read MoreWay To Go Cooper, You Broke Mom.
Ever since Cooper was 1 or so I realized that he doesn’t understand holidays. Or presents. And he doesn’t care about food so that part is out. He’s afraid of seeing Santa or the Easter Bunny so that is out too. And he hates activities so there is no dying Easter eggs or carving pumpkins. I can get him dressed up in a cute outfit but he won’t sit still for a picture. Yesterday was awful for me. It was the worst holiday I have ever had. Honestly, I am…
Read MoreThe Right Side of Age 4
Lately, I have been getting involved with a lot with other Apraxia moms both through Facebook and blogs. I have seen an increase in questions having to do with kids being nonverbal for their whole lives. I know I’ve mentioned on here before that one of the hardest moments of my life was when I realized that some kids don’t talk. Click HERE to read that post. Cooper has always been so vocal and so loud it never crossed my mind that he wouldn’t talk. When I learned that nonverbal was a…
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