Videos
When Your Child’s Disability Consumes You
A reader asked me yesterday…’My son has autism and I’m not depressed. I know that. But I feel like his disability is consuming me. Help me please. Why is this happening? I don’t even recognize myself anymore.’ I reread her message over and over again. I related to her with every fiber of my being. At 34 I have been on the Autism journey for almost five years now. I work. I have two kids. I have friends and family. I have a full, busy life as most would say.…
Read MoreAutism and Regression
Hey all. Yesterday we had a heartbreaking day and it hit our family pretty hard. And to make it worse it seems that something is super ‘off’ with Cooper. We can’t seem to get him regulated and as we sat and analyzed his behaviors last night we realized he’s been off for over a week. And for the life of us we can’t figure out what’s changed in his world. This regression is dramatic. And a huge shock. This is one of the hardest parts of raising a nonverbal kid.…
Read MoreI Never Lost My Son…In A Way, It Felt Like I Never Had Him.
I want to talk about the first three years of Cooper’s life because they were the saddest of mine. I had dreamt of becoming a mother for years. It was the thing I wanted most in my life. And then in the blink of an eye I was a mama to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Except from day one something wasn’t right. Only, I couldn’t describe it and to make it worse it was like no one believed me. My son didn’t need me for anything besides a bottle…
Read MoreWhen Does Parenting An Autistic Child Get Easier?
Have you ever wondered that? I used to all the time. I would be at a particularly low point in our Autism journey and I would ask that question to my mom or a friend or a doctor. And no one would tell me the truth. I just needed to hear if it was going to get easier or get harder. I needed an honest answer. The problem was I was asking the wrong people. I’m not surprised I get asked this question every day by parents of newly diagnosed…
Read MoreGut Health and Autism
I shared a video on Facebook today about our first visit to a Naturopath. There was quit the response and 99% of it was positive. That’s a pretty great feeling. I am bringing my son to a Naturopath solely to work on his stomach complications. We have reach a dead end with traditional GI doctors. My son has not had an in-medicated poop in over 4 years. My kid is 6. That is messed up. I am hoping this Naturopath can work with us on diet modifications. I am hoping he…
Read MoreMy Journey As An Autism Mom-Video
There were two huge things I needed in the beginning of my Autism mom journey. I needed someone to tell me what to do and I needed someone to validate me. I kept seeking out a friend or a mom or a doctor that could understand what I was going through, validate how hard it was and tell me what direction to take. I never found it. There were times when I’d joke that I wasn’t qualified to make these huge, life changing decisions for another person. I wasn’t an…
Read MoreWhat Autism Stole From Me As a Mother
I will openly admit that the hardest part of the Autism mom journey for me was missing out on milestones, typical parts of childhood development and overall special moments with my son. I dreamt of first words and teaching him to ride a bike and our first camping trip. I didn’t get most of them and if I did they were usually really upsetting for all of us. And at my lowest, saddest times, typically after an event like the first day of kindergarten or his birthday, I even felt…
Read MoreTalking About Special Needs Parenting Guilt
I want to talk about Mommy Guilt. It’s a real thing. And on top of that I want to layer on Special Needs Parenting Guilt. The stakes are way higher. Every decision or lack of decision is huge. Should I try one more therapy? Should I visit one more doctor? How much is enough? I feel it every single day. And I want to let you in on a little secret…No one is harder on me than me. I love my kid more than anything and the worry that I’m…
Read MoreMy Worry as an Autism Mom and Why It Never Rests
Parenting a child with special needs is so much more than helicopter parenting. It is never taking your shoes off, being ready to run, casing every room, knowing every exit and danger, being drenched in sweat, never sitting, searching your child’s body for marks or bruises, up all night worrying, parenting. It consumes me at times. And deep down I worry that it is destroying me. It’s not like it happened overnight. It was an evolution. I am a pretty chill person. My kids fall and I wait for the…
Read MoreRamblings of an Autism Mom Around Acceptance
My favorite topic to blog about! I’ve been noticing a trend. Every morning for the past few weeks I wake up to dozens of emails from parents looking for hope, help and guidance. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. I did the exact same thing when Cooper was younger. I would stay up late…usually after some sort of meltdown or a particularity hard day. And I would search for a blog where the child reminded me of Cooper. And I would reach out. And in a really weird way I would feel guilty…
Read More