To My Daughter, One Day I Hope You Understand

I watch you so often struggling, and I see you getting the short end of the stick far too often. But I hope that one day you will understand that your Mom loves you and that I tried the best that I could. I had so many dreams of being your Mom. I was going to read fabulous literature to you. I was going to champion your every effort. I was going to have home cooked delicious meals for you every night. I was going to ensure that you had…

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Sometimes, Numbers Do Lie

Dear Holden, Your mama is a numbers person. As are you! I have “data” in my work title and I thrive on knowing things through their relationship to others. So when I heard that you were “on the spectrum” I did not find that explanation to be terribly satisfactory. Where, exactly, on the spectrum were you? I had this new information about you and yet it seemed to tell me absolutely nothing. So, I went looking for numbers and, honey, what I found was not good. An estimated 75-85 percent…

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Autism and Waiting On Those First Words

Autism. That word describes so many people. So many…different people. Have you heard the saying, “If you have met one person with autism, you have met that one person with autism?” How true is that? If you live on this roller coaster ride, that is autism, you know this to be true. You can’t talk to someone else about their journey, and expect yours to go the exact same way. You just take YOUR journey, one day at a time. I had to learn this, the hard way. “When did…

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On Realizing Your Child Doesn’t Enjoy What Other Kids Enjoy

“Did you pack the toothbrushes?” When we met each other’s eyes we realized neither of us had. This sentence means something different for our in family. Our toothbrushes were in fact tucked away neatly into a side pocket of my bag. But we have a separate grouping of toothbrushes. A special one, just for our son Cormac. It started small. When Cormac was first diagnosed at 18 months he exhibited many sensory seeking behaviors and had not yet delved in the graces of therapy or Early Intervention. He was chewing…

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The Isolation of an Autism Parent

Being an autism parent is extremely isolating. I can say that I don’t have a tribe. I don’t have a group of mom friends to hang out with, who will be there when I need to vent or to even vent about their struggles. I don’t like to just wallow in our struggles. It is what it is, but it’s nice to hear what’s going on in other people’s lives, happy or sad. I want to give advice and listen to someone and celebrate their victories. I have a couple…

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A Letter to my Daughter, You’ve Come So Far

Dear Emma, my beautiful daughter. You just turned three and a half and I still wait to hear a word…any word… from your sweet little mouth. You will be four soon and I can’t help but think back to that day. The day I was told you were autistic and ‘that you might never learn to speak.’ I have heard that sentence so many times now you’d think I would be able to just brush it off. Be over it. But every time I hear it, it flaws me. I…

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Adopting Autism: The Ups and Downs

I have two kids; a two-year-old little girl and a 14-year-old stepson. My Stepson has autism. His name is Corey. Corey is on the moderate side of the spectrum. Corey’s mother passed away two years ago; I’m the closest thing to a mother he’ll ever have. Adopting Autism I guess I’m kind of jealous of his mom. From everything I know, she was an amazing, one-of-a-kind woman. I could never fill her size-11 shoes. But I try every day. I try to memorize the acronyms for all his different doctors…

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My Son Is Not Broken, My Son Has Autism

My son has Autism. Whew, boy does that feel good to put it out there! I’ve had an internal battle with myself whether that was something that I wanted to put out there for everyone to know, but I’ve finally asked myself why?? Am I ashamed? Absolutely not. Am I seeking sympathy? That is the last thing I want. So why? Why put it out there so vulnerably? My Son has Autism The answer is simple….for my son. It is all just for him. I’m doing it in hopes that…

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A Letter to my Three Year Old Son

Dear Charlie, My son. What I would give to hear you call me Mum, but something stops you. There is a disconnect and those invisible walls go up around you. And just like that you are lost in your own world again and my heart breaks. Charlie you are such a happy kid, your giggle is infectious and you make everyone you meet smile. You would spend hours jumping on your bed if you could, you energy seems at times endless. I have never had a conversation with you but…

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Finding Comfort with Two on the Spectrum

To my amazing little boys, Oh my beautiful boys. Where do I even begin? You both are loving, sweet, crazy, energetic, sensitive, hardworking, and special. I know you live a life that is harder than it should be. Every day when you wake up, you face challenges that I can’t even begin to understand. I’m sure if I understood everything you face between your sensory issues, lack of communication options, and constant need for routine, I would be impressed that you even make it out of bed some days to…

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