Autism From a Grandparent’s Perspective

My youngest granddaughter is visiting this weekend. I have six of these treasures ranging from ages 10 to 18. I adore them. I drive 3 ½ hours one way to go to a 30-minute concert, only to turn right around and drive back to be at work the next day. I probably have ten thousand pictures on my computer of zoo trips and vacations and holidays and amusement parks and ordinary days. I LOVE being their “Grangie”. However, a visit from my youngest, Grandgirl #4, (GG 4) requires strategic planning.…

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Sibling Guilt

On our summer vacation, I had an epiphany. Well, actually, I had a meltdown, then I had the epiphany. First the meltdown: In July, our family of four took the risk and went on a family vacation. It was so needed. Our past spring had been our toughest season yet since beginning the autism journey ten years ago. We were all worn out. To our relief our vacation was off to a great start. We had seen more peace, less meltdowns, than in the past five months. We were unpacking…

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I Thought I Knew About Autism

I was heartbroken when my son was diagnosed with autism. You want to know why? Because of what I thought I knew about it. I had an idea in my head of what autism was. And boy was I wrong. There were a lot of things I didn’t know. The main thing was, I thought that people with autism couldn’t show affection. Or didn’t want to. I thought it was hard for everyone on the spectrum to make connections with others. The minute that the doctor told me that Carter…

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Residential Treatment Made us Stronger

In May, Margaret shared the agonizing decision her family made to place their son William in residential treatment. He was admitted on March 13th. Two hours away from their home. They knew he may be there for six months or more. Margaret gave us a glimpse inside her world. A world that many parents don’t understand. “It was unfathomable just a mere year or so ago that I would ever consider “sending my son away” for treatment. He’d be with people we didn’t know. We wouldn’t know what was happening…

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My Son, His Sister’s Protector

As my children grow, I have watched their sibling relationship start to evolve and take shape. Some days I sit back and observe them, in awe, amazed at what a perfect match they are. Other days I am playing referee and constantly breaking up arguments. I know arguments are a part of any relationship in life and siblings are no different. My children are complete opposites, and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. My son Daniel, who is 22 months old, is your typical almost two-year-old boy. He…

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Becoming Brothers

We have two boys – just 15 months apart. Usually when I tell someone this, I get comments like how lucky – they will be BEST friends. Do they get along? Do they fight a lot? I bet they keep you busy. Well, the last of these statements is certainly true but the others – I never thought it was possible but I think maybe we’re getting there. They are now 12 and 10. Our younger son has pretty severe/ nonverbal autism and his big brother is as “typical” as…

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The Resilience of a Sibling

I’ve always wanted to be a mom. For as long as I could remember, I’ve dreamt of having kids of my own and having a big family. When my husband and I got pregnant not too long after getting married, we were ecstatic. We found out we were having a boy! My husband, being the sports enthusiast that he is, was thrilled as well. We dreamed of everything we would do with him, all the things typical boys would love. Dawson was born and he was perfect. When he was…

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Living With Self-Injurious Behaviors

One thing I’ve learned as the mother to an autistic child, is that when your child has self-injurious behaviors, you’ll never be able to describe the feeling accurately. I’ve also learned that if a person doesn’t know what you’re going through, you’ll never be heard accurately. Any time that I have thought I might open up and share the fear, frustration, sorrow and deep gut wrenching pain, I’ve learned that unless a person has lived it as a parent or caregiver, they can never understand. Sometimes you get even worse,…

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I Am A Cerebral Palsy Dad

Some of my favorite stories involve the relationships between fathers and sons. I lost my own father when I was 15 to lung cancer. My dad was my best friend. Don’t get me wrong, he could be a very difficult man. He was very old school. I would not be surprised to learn that he was probably bi-polar. He did not have the greatest upbringing. But it is funny. Although he was old school, unlike a lot of father’s from the baby boomer generation, he was very affectionate. Not a…

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I Want You To Make Me Go Away Mommy

Today, I picked up my five year old son with autism from preschool, screaming, hyperventilating, and distraught. His one and only best friend decided he didn’t want to play with Jackson today. He’d found other friends he’d rather play legos with. That amazing friend is so wonderfully typical. Jackson didn’t understand the simplicity and normality of his sweet friend’s behavior. You see, my sweet, friendly, lover of life and all people in it, son, enjoys being around ALL children. But he will forever be the person to truly appreciate and…

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