Guest Post
You Can Feel Sad and Love Simultaneously
You can feel sad about your child’s diagnosis and still love them with every fiber of your being. If you do, I want you to know that you’re not alone in your feelings. It doesn’t make you a bad parent. You may feel powerless, frustrated, and depressed. I know I’ve felt all this and more. I’d kept these feelings to myself for a while because I was ashamed. I was afraid to admit them. I love my son Charlie, so the sadness that engulfed me was confusing. For a long…
Read MoreThe Seventh Year
In church we sing, Let the King of my heart Be the wind inside my sailsThe anchor in my waves…‘Cause You are good You are good, oh oh Oh, He is my song…You’re never gonna letYou’re never gonna let me down – Bethel Music My son, tonight I held you as you stood on a chair in our church. I sang this song to you and you smiled at me. I wondered if you understood that I was worshiping and thanking God for trusting me to be your mom. This song resonates with me…
Read MoreThe Handwriting on the Wall…
I walked into the playroom and realized James found the ONE marker that wasn’t tucked away in the closet with the other messy villains like glitter and Play-Doh that are only allowed supervised play dates. He had written his name in large purple letters underneath his big sister’s artwork. When he realized I was standing there, he proudly announced, “Tahdah!” with his charming little smile. While my initial reaction was frustration and to grab my magic eraser, it was quickly replaced with the reminder that not very long ago I…
Read MoreBeing A Special Needs Parent Isn’t Something to Fear
I overheard two expectant mamas talking in a Chick-fil-A play area. They sat together on one bench, while their 3-4 year old boys played together, and they each were expecting a boy. I watched my own two boys play with these soon to be big brothers. These mamas chatted about pregnancy woes and pediatricians. And then the conversation took an unexpected turn. One of the mamas confessed that she’s constantly having fears that something will go wrong with the baby. It even keeps her up at night. What if her…
Read MoreThe Role of a Big Brother
I know being his big brother is different than you imagined… You were 4 when I was pregnant with our rainbow baby. You knew mommy was pregnant before this but the baby didn’t make it and we would try again. You were beyond excited. You told me you secretly wished it would be a sister but you were totally ok if it turns out to be a brother. After we found out for sure it was a boy you exclaimed “oh, I change my mind mommy I’m so excited to…
Read MoreA Letter to the Siblings of Kids with Special Needs
My son said to me today, “ I want home to be fun”. So, I wrote both of my boys a letter. It’s long, but my heart was heavy. A letter to my boys ( and other siblings) of newly diagnosed kids with special needs: No one told you your path in this world would take a sudden turn. It would get bumpy and rocky and sometimes you’d be hanging on for dear life to the edge of mom’s last ounce of patience before it would straighten out for a…
Read MoreHello 3 AM, We Meet Again
Hello 3 am. We meet again. I can’t remember the last time I slept fully and peacefully without seeing you and getting stuck here in these lonely early hours, while the rest of the world sleeps. I’m not sure what wakes me, maybe it’s a dream. Or maybe my brain is just more active at this time of the morning, when everyone else is still sleeping and the quiet space gives me time for the anxieties and worries to creep in. I am blessed with a good sleeper. My almost…
Read MoreIs HE Going to be in our Class?
Today we had “Back to School Night” and I was nervous all week thinking about it. Every year when my oldest has a new teacher, I hope and pray that they are kind, understanding, and teach the other students about inclusion and things that make us different…and that its okay. We walked up to the list for 2nd grade, I ran my finger down the list to find his name, and we proceeded down the hall to her room. Max was making loud noises, he held my hand, he has…
Read MoreAutism has no Cure…But Luckily, Ignorance Does
I’ve been on this journey with my boys for 18 years now and after a while, you just get sick of hearing yourself complain. I’m sick of being the Debbie Downer when someone asks how our weekend was. No one wants to hang with “doom and gloom chick”. Much like Autism doesn’t just “go away” at 10, the misunderstandings and judgment doesn’t either. I am a mother of two young men on the spectrum. One of which is 17 years old, with Severe Autism. He is somewhat verbal but unable…
Read MoreLooking into the Future
We chatted today. I was the mom next to you in the neurologists office with the two redheaded girls. Even if my girls weren’t loud and imposing in small spaces, I’m sure you would still remember us. I saw you watching them as you nervously waited for your appointment. And after seeing your beautiful little girl, I’m pretty sure we share more than a love of Wawa frozen cappuccinos. As your little lady sat on the floor with her kindle, I’m guessing I saw more than most moms would in this…
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