Autism
We’re On An Adventure
I can’t tell you the last spontaneous thing we have done as a family. I reckon it’s been eight years. Trips and outings are planned meticulously to help our kiddo be successful. But, well, when you realize you forgot his favorite paper to stim on, and you need to get out of the house so you don’t all lose your minds…you take a trip to town. (That’s what you say when you live in the country…you go to town!) You risk it. We are doing it. We couldn’t have even dared…
Read MoreAge is Just a Number
Yesterday I was scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, as I usually do, when I saw a picture that stopped my finger mid-motion. It was a little girl I knew well. Her mom, a friend of mine. We were pregnant at the same time. We have slipped apart over the years, as we so often do. The photo was precious. The caption read, the last day of third grade. Third grade. Wow. For a second I thought, that can’t be right. I did the math. It was right. If my son was…
Read MoreFamily Safety In The Car
We used to not be able to safely ride in the car as a family. Let that sink in for a moment. We had to take two cars, Jamie and I separating the boys, or one of us had to ride in the back with the kids and even then it wasn’t all that safe. At one point we had to have a safety plan. We couldn’t turn left. Or stop at stoplights. Road construction was the worst. Slowing down wasn’t allowed. I’d tell friends that we couldn’t go through…
Read MoreYears Of Practice Will Bring Success
We practice. I remember in the beginning feeling overwhelmed about all of the things my son needed to learn. Things that came seemingly easy for most children. Walking safely, using silverware, speaking, playing, self-care, I could go on and on. When I thought about all of it I almost couldn’t breathe at times. I didn’t know how to do it all. So, I did what any logical person would do…I made a list. I ranked them. I picked what was most important and what could wait. For our family, it…
Read MoreThe Beauty Of A Complicated Path
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the paths that each of my boys will take as they grow up. Three sons. 9, 7 and 1. Cooper, my oldest, well, it’s been complicated. So many daycares until we finally couldn’t find one to take him anymore. Then starting in the school district at age three, multiple day programs, IEP meetings, transportation to and from, trusting the world with my tiny, yet mighty, nonverbal, unaware child who could hardly hold up his backpack. I waved goodbye to a child who didn’t know…
Read MoreHow Do I Protect My Son From His Skin?
The world is fighting CovID-19 and black people are fighting to stay alive. Black men in particular are being murdered and threatened for no reason at all, other than being black. Black families are having hard necessary conversations with their children, even if you don’t want to or feel as though they’re too young it’s being forced on us due to the daily news reports. We are literally getting no days off from the trauma. My son Caleb had a speech evaluation yesterday and he scored below average on the…
Read MoreTeaching Kids Kindness
Before I had babies, and even when they were younger, I had preconceived notions of what I would teach them throughout their lives. I assumed how to walk. And talk. Throw a ball. Read and write. I assumed we’d practice riding a bike and hitting a baseball. Later on I’d teach them to drive a car and how to dress for an interview and tip at a restaurant. Tangible things. It’s funny now because yes, those things matter. A’s on tests matter. Making the team matters. But kindness matters too.…
Read MoreA Letter to My Little Brother
Hey brother, I’m hoping that someday I can say this all to you. But there is a chance that I might never be able to…I’m hoping that when you are older you will read this and understand. I know I confuse you. I’m so loud. I flap my arms. I don’t notice toys. Or play sports. Or like to leave our house. I don’t have any friends. Or really pay any attention to you either. I just like mom and dad. I don’t play like you. I have never ridden…
Read MoreWhat We Won’t Do For Our Kids
When I have kids they will never… Remember those thoughts? From before you had children of your own? I had them for sure. My two favorites were…I will never have dirty car seats because my babies will never eat in my car. And my kids will never have snotty noses. Of course I didn’t have one kid, let alone three at that time. I laugh at that now as I hand food back to a screaming child and clean goldfish pieces from my floor mats. And as I use my…
Read MoreFathers and First-Borns
Jamie is often asked by dads of newly diagnosed boys…’was it hard not having the typical experiences with your first born?’ Jamie is so honest about it. So matter of fact with his answer. He doesn’t sugar coat it. Or dance around with his answers. He’ll talk about pitching baseballs with his own father. For hours and hours. Day after day. He will tell stories of jumping his bike, catching fish and camping. He will go on and on about his old man being his best friend for so many…
Read More