Autism
The Shore
Being a special needs parent sometimes feels like being dropped in the middle of a turbulent ocean while a storm rages on. My family and I have been thrown in and are desperately trying to make it to shore. The shore is the promised land. It’s what we’ve always dreamed of. We should have never fallen into the ocean, we weren’t prepared for this. I don’t even know how to swim. Surely this must be some sort of mistake. But I keep telling myself that once we get to the…
Read MoreWishing On Stars
I’m trying not to obsess over signs that my daughter, Evie, is on the way to finding her own words. Not scripting, echoing or repeating; I mean her own feelings, her own thoughts, expressed in her own words. She’ll be five in November, and despite being a chatter box of sorts, she’s considered nonverbal. She isn’t able to communicate verbally outside of our home, with people who don’t know her like we do. Evie told me she loved me the month before last. Can you imagine my shock? Part of…
Read MoreA Gift I Will Never Take For Granted
I will never get over the gift of communication. Something so many take for granted. My newly two year old just told me he had an owie on his foot. He sat down. Took his sock off. And pointed to his injury. To so many outside the world of autism, this may sound so simple. His older brother is 9, nearly 10, and we work nonstop on communication of pain. For years, my sweet boy had ear infections that we didn’t know about. We didn’t know if his shoe was…
Read MoreVery Nice Boy
Yesterday my son rode the bus for the first time to school. I was nervous. I thought about getting in my car and following but didn’t because I knew it would be great. When the bus pulled in the driveway after his school day I was waiting as the big doors opened. My first question…’how did he do?’ As a mom of a kid who has struggled in the past, and still does at times, I was ready. I’ve built up this armor you could say. Waiting for the negative.…
Read MoreThe First Ride
Two weeks ago, this kid asked me to ride the bus. Sorta out of the blue. He verbalized it…’H-U-SSS.’ (B’s are hard for him.) He showed me busses on YouTube. He showed me busses in books. He pointed them out in the community. And me, being the mom I am, smiled, cheered, and thought…no way. I’m too scared. He’s too vulnerable. I can’t do it. Nope. But his dad, well he reminded me how I preach about independence. Nonstop. I want my son to make his own choices. I want…
Read MoreVictories At The Orchard
Today was a big day for this kid and our family. We went to the Afton Apple Orchard. You know the kind with lots of noise and people and waiting and walking. And we went as a family. We invited our friends to come along as well. See in our world, we need help. We know that now. We know our strengths and our weaknesses. And our Cooper, he requires both mom and dad sometimes. We had a lot of wins today. Cooper petted his first llama, sheep, donkey and goat!…
Read MoreTo My Special Son as You Approach Adulthood
I cannot believe how quickly the last seventeen years has flown by. When I glance over at you, intently focused on the television screen with unshaven stubble presently on your face, I can vividly picture my adorable, chubby cheeked toddler. I remember every minute of each therapy session you tolerated multiple days a week like it was yesterday – always working extremely hard to overcome significant motor delays, never giving up on hitting those many milestones, at your own pace. Your ability to invent creative solutions for…
Read MoreWinter
Hi. My name is Carrie. I am a wife, a yogi, a writer, a book-reader, and a mother of five. I am also Special Needs Mama with a Special Needs Kiddo. His name is Jack. He is sixteen years old. When you have a Special Needs Kiddo, the weekend can feel very, very long. I know, I’m not supposed to admit this. I’m supposed to tell you all the fun things I create for my son and I to do together—interesting outings with built-in lessons, long hikes through the autumn…
Read MoreBoth of My Children Are Normal
“Is your daughter normal?” the nurse asked. “So far she’s developing typically,” I replied, The conversation moved on but I couldn’t shake the word “normal.” The word swirled around my head and gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Normal. Compared to what? I looked down at Everett, my autistic two year old, watching Daniel Tiger on his kindle , wondering if he’d heard and then wondering if he understood. If he did, how did it make him feel? As a physician assistant, and medically speaking,…
Read MoreWe Are More
You must be sad… I’ve heard that phrase a few times over the past couple weeks. You must be sad your son rides the shorter bus… You must be sad he’s not in the gen ed room at school… And the zinger, the one I felt like a shot was fired and received, you must be sad you will never have a normal life… These statements, they don’t necessarily come from a place of hate or anger. They come from a place of misunderstanding. They simply don’t understand. I am…
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