Autism
Putting on Our Brave Hats
Wish us luck! We are headed on our first big outing as a family to six! We are headed to Wisconsin to celebrate my nephew’s graduation. Cooper has never been to a graduation party before and is very excited. He’s been ready to go since 8 am and keeps playing a Barney episode on his iPad about visiting Grandma. It’s pretty sweet. Just a short time ago we would have never been able to go to a party like this but Cooper is doing so great and wants to go…
Read MoreThe Witching Hour
Unpopular opinion. I hate grilling. I mean, I love all the food that comes off of said grill, but I hate that at our families most stressful time my husband gets to stand in the garage cooking glorious food while I manage a fight club in our living room. He’s waving to the neighbors and dead heading flowers and nursing a beer while I’m nursing our youngest and chasing our toddler who has somehow gotten into the pantry and opened up a mac and cheese cup. ‘Mama! Yellow snow!’ My…
Read MorePast Denial and Into Acceptance
There I am. Still in denial if you ask me. Still hopeful that Sophie will blend in to this loud and crowded party with a bunch of busy, loud excited 5-year-olds. Hopeful she’ll strike up a conversation with one of these kids. Hopeful she will smile and laugh and run around interacting with these kids. Hopeful she’ll appreciate the hand sewn dress that was made for her special day. Hopeful she won’t yell at anyone. Hopeful she won’t hide in her room. Hopeful she won’t run out of the house,…
Read MoreBeyond Measure
Like so many special needs parents, I’ve spent countless hours filling out paperwork and rating scales about my child. I know all too well what it feels like to anxiously wait in doctor offices, therapy lobbies, and conference rooms…to go over the results of various assessments, listening to the numbers that describe my son. I’ve left meetings, only to replay the conversations in my head, trying to stay positive and put the scores behind me. The numbers and scores for my son, Charlie, are always associated with significant delays and…
Read MoreDear Moms Who are Trying to Keep it Together
One of the hardest things about being a mom is holding it together when all you want to do is breakdown and cry. I see you out in public fighting back the tears. Tears that have been building up all day because you’re just exhausted. You have been up for hours with no sleep because your child is going through a sleep regression. I see the frustration in your face that you’re tired of being judged. Judged that you’re doing everything wrong. I can see it in your eyes, that…
Read MoreA Letter to Parents on Diagnosis Day
Maybe you’re just hearing the news that your child is on the autism spectrum. Or that they might be. Maybe you’re in the process of having your child evaluated. Or maybe you’re holding back from seeking a diagnosis because you’re scared. Scared of the label. Scared of hearing it out loud. Scared of the idea of forever. I understand. Every single emotion you’re feeling. But I want to show you something…. You see the photo below? This was never “supposed” to happen. My child has a friend. A friend in…
Read MoreA Boy Who is Doing His Best
This beautiful boy is nonverbal. He has severe autism and a handful of other diagnoses as well. He jumps, flaps and twirls when he’s excited. He lays down on the floor and rolls when he’s upset. He lives for dinosaurs, jumping on the trampoline, baseball and popsicles. He knows exactly what he wants and when he wants it. He just doesn’t always have the tools to express his wants and needs. Zeke hears and understands every single thing that is said to him and about him. He understands when his…
Read MoreBetter Full Than Empty
We are slowly, gingerly, timidly, starting to venture out as a family of six. We are cautious though. See, our oldest needs two of us to help him be successful. He likes to run and sit and touch and can often be quite sneaky and fast. Our two year old needs one of us because he’s two and so does our baby. Typically me because I have dinner. And Sawyer can help but he often gets distracted by sticks and candy and forgets to hold hands. Because he’s only 8…
Read MoreJust See Him
People ask me all the time how they can help. Kind people. Loving people. Strangers. Friends. Family. People on this page. I speak about that out of control feeling that happens when my son starts struggling. When his big feelings about waiting or sitting overwhelm him. Or when the noise is too much and the lights are too bright or he smells something in the air that you and I can’t make out. Maybe we are in line at the grocery store. Or at a park. Or in the paper…
Read MorePictures in My Mind
When you become a parent, and probably even before, you imagine your child’s life. You imagine your own. You have this picture in your head of what it will look like. Scenarios. Highs. Successes. Wins. The beautiful moments. That’s normal. As humans we do that. We daydream. We imagine. When something challenges those images it can be hard. Like really hard. What you thought would be is not. I’m here to tell you that once you step off the path of what you pictured and into the unknown, your life…
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