Autism
A Brave Day
Let me tell you about a boy. A boy who at eleven years old shows more bravery than most adults I know. But his bravery looks different so most overlook it. He has very few words. Not much for conversation. But his eyes…they tell a story. If you listen to him. Patiently. If you don’t rush him. And wait. He will tell you. If you don’t talk over him. Or speak for him. He will tell you how he hears things louder than you. And smells the faintest smells. And…
Read MoreI Wish Time Would Slow Down
This one and I needed some time together. At 9 years old he’s in that in between space where he will hold my hand but can run to the concession and grab his own soda. He needs me but doesn’t fully. He lays his head on me when he’s tired and uses his own hand to cover my eyes during the scary parts. He’s not embarrassed of me. But also thinks I’m super old. He loves his siblings fiercely. But asked today if we could go to the movies just…
Read MoreWild Ones
Some kids are just mischievous. Wild. Busy. Exasperating. Curious. Spirited. All words we choose instead of naughty. They see a puddle and have to jump in it. A glass of water and have to dump it. A counter and have to climb it. They see a toy and immediately want to know how it works. How it’s wired. Taking it apart becomes vital. What’s it made of they think. They see mail and need to know what’s inside. A package becomes a possibility. It could be a Nerf gun or…
Read MoreChloe
Yesterday morning our sweet girl Chloe passed away. She has been with our family as long as we have been one. She’s grown with us as we added four babies, seen 8 houses, and aged 15 years. She’s our Chloe girl. She’s a permanent fixture in our life. For 15 years she’s patiently waited at the door for us to come home. She’s lost her hearing and her sight, so we had to gently wake her up when we would get home. We don’t want to startle her. She went…
Read MoreIt’s Our Normal
My 11 year old son and I just passed a group of boys his age. Some older. Son younger. One was on a cell phone. One was doing tricks on his bike. A few were shooting hoops. I noticed them right away. Older boys. Almost teens. But then I realized the boy holding my hand is almost the same age. It was one of the slow moving realizations. They were smarting off to each other. Being silly. Pushing the limits. Not being bad. Doing what kids do at that age.…
Read MoreTouch
This little boy traced my face while I was sleeping this morning. I knew it was him before I opened my eyes. Once I did, he giggled and ran away. I’m sure he was confused why I was still in bed at 7 am. I’ve been sick and yesterday I tried to explain to him that mommy wasn’t feeling well. After I told him he tapped on his chest, showing me his teal striped shirt. He must have dressed himself. He was proud. We both clapped and then he pointed…
Read MoreWe can Change the World
The other day I was chatting with a friend and she was telling me about when her son was diagnosed with autism. And she said… ‘I knew I couldn’t change autism, so I decided I had to change the world.’ I’ve been thinking about it nonstop. Because, see friends, in the beginning, I didn’t have a lot of support. Or resources. Or knowledge of my son’s mysterious disorder and…I thought my purpose was to change it. I didn’t understand. Now I do. And this amazing mama, she knew what I…
Read MoreFather’s Day
Facebook memories are so lovely some times. Father’s Day. Five years ago… This is how Cooper slept last night. He was so proud of the Father’s Day card he helped make for daddy. He will carry it around until it’s just a shred of paper. I always say Cooper loves object until there is nothing left of them. My heart melted when I checked on him and saw the card laid out. He is all heart that kid. A huge misconception about children with autism is that they don’t make…
Read MoreTwo Brothers
Back in the beginning, when the folder was slid across the table, and the words ‘severe nonverbal autism’ were said out loud… I remember wishing for a crystal ball. I wanted to know what the future held for my boy. His brother. Our family. I begged. I pleaded. I bargained. I prayed. For a glimpse. This is the one I wish I could have seen. Right here. A moment in time. In the peace from the chaos. Two brothers. Two years apart. One verbal. One not. One on track. One…
Read MoreHe Talks in His own Special Way
Tonight my son Cooper was listening to a song on his iPad. The tune was familiar. In fact, I bet I’ve been hearing the same song on and off for eight plus years. I was doing something in the kitchen when he came in. My three year old was hungry. My baby wanted to nurse. My kitchen was dirty. And here comes my son, dancing. He touched my arm for a second. Then a second longer. He forced my attention. He smiled. A smirk really. And he touched my ear.…
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