This guy turns nine tomorrow. Which is a pretty big deal over here. We take birthdays very seriously in this household. And every time Sawyer mentions something about it, Cooper cheers and tries to convince me it’s his birthday. Nonverbally of course. I wish I could stop time sometimes. But I know I can’t. So instead I try to soak up every part of him I can. Even the part that yelled at me this morning about socks. I saw this memory on Facebook from 2 years ago today…. Sawyer…
I went to an event a while back, before COVID-19, to honor and celebrate special needs moms. It was one of the first times I realized how lucky I was that my son just had ‘autism.’ He isn’t medically complex. He isn’t terminal. He can run and eat, and we don’t live a chunk of our lives at Children’s Hospital. We are the lucky ones because he is happy and healthy. Story after story was told. Mother after mother. All unique. All important. One of the moms spoke about the…
A while back we visited an arcade. It was a big adventure for our little family. Our middle son loves all things game. The baby loves tagging after his older brother. And Cooper, our eldest son, he is just starting to take in the world outside of our home. He loves exploring and experiencing the world on his own terms. He is eleven years old. He loves trains and postcards with animals on them. He also has autism. He is autistic. And according to some, nonspeaking. But he has so…
When it’s just Cooper and his dad and I, the house is pretty quiet. No brothers fighting for attention. No talk of monster trucks in mud or hockey practice. No little sisters babbling and cooing. Well, I mean, Blue Mountain Mystery is usually singing from an iPad and I’m constantly saying, ‘turn it down Cooper.’ But besides that, it’s pretty quiet. You will hear an occasional laugh and giggle. A gasp. A question from me. But chatter back and forth…nope. Cooper is eleven years old. On paper his diagnosis is…
Cooper has always communicated by touch. I like to believe it’s a nonverbal thing. His autism thing. And a Cooper thing. In my mind it’s a way to feel and show someone emotion when it’s hard to understand the words. Or facial expressions. It’s a way to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I am mad’ when the words can’t come out. It’s a way to get someone’s attention too. Listen to me. Look at me. Notice me. If Cooper really likes you, he will touch your face ever so gently.…
Angela, my precious wife, friend, partner, and soulmate, I sit here, looking back over our life, together, having known you for literally half of my own lifetime. I am in awe. I remember your head poking out of the window of that van, and your goofy, funny, amazing, beautiful smile, the day we met. You waved to me, as your ride was parking. I felt a kind of burst, in that moment. I knew I could do this. I knew I could meet you and your companion, and I would…
A few days ago, our family returned from our first ever Spring Break vacation. Because we are unable to fly right now (it’s a huge goal for Cooper but he’s not there ‘yet) we decided to visit the Wisconsin Dells. A destination about 3 hours away from us that has the best waterparks. All three of our boy’s love swimming and it’s an activity that we can all do together. And our absolutely hands down favorite place to stay and swim in the Dell is The Wilderness Resort. For many…
This Saturday, on the 15th, Lifetime will be premiering Safe Room, a thriller that centers on recently widowed Lila Jackson (Nicole Ari Parker) and her 14-year-old autistic son Ian (Nik Sanchez). Since the death of her husband, Lila is grateful for their kind neighbor Neil (Boris Kodjoe), who looks out for them. After Ian accidentally witnesses a break-in in the house across the street and records the horrific murder of the homeowner, Lila becomes embroiled in a deadly struggle to protect her son from intruders Dominic (Mackenzie Astin) and Rocco…
My son, Your birthday is in 8 days. You have been counting down since mid December. You love your birthday. And you love being older. So much so that you are already telling people you are 9 years old. I lovingly correct you every time, reminding you that you are still my 8 year old. I also threaten you with a potion that will keep you little forever. But you have no time for that nonsense. You want to grow up. I want time to stop. Last night you snuggled…
To people who live outside of our world: I have a favor to ask you. When you see that child screaming uncontrollably on the floor of the supermarket. Stop. Pause. And… Before you blame the parents, Before you shake your head in disgust, Before you make snide comments about lack of discipline, And most importantly, before you judge the child, Stop. And know that… You may be seeing autism at its most challenging. It’s most confusing. A child who may simply have seen, heard, or smelled something new and not…
