Hey you… Mom, Dad, parent, or caregiver of a child with a disability, I have something to tell you. And it’s not a secret. Not in the slightest. It may not even surprise you. You’re carrying too much weight. I see you. I see all that you are doing. You are worn down. You are stressed out by it, and you’re missing some of the best parts of not only your life but your child’s life because if it. Your life is unique. It’s one that demands more from us…
My second born son Sawyer is at the age where he asks a lot of questions. The questions are pure and innocent and often make me smile or giggle. Or cringe. He asks me a lot of questions about other children. He will tell me stories from school and ask me why a child was mean or why they acted a certain way. Or he will loudly ask why the cashier at Target is in a wheelchair or why the man in line next to us has purple hair. Or…
Do any of you feel a constant push and pull as a mother? Because I do. I have four beautiful children ages 11 to 11 months. Every second of my life is full. It’s messy and loud and so full of love and joy and lack of sleep that some days I just want to cry. I miss reading. And sitting. And thinking. It’s amazing too though. The best really. But the push and pull. I’m feeling it a lot lately. I spent the last couple of days with my…
‘Brother doesn’t talk mama……’ That’s what he said to me a few months after he turned three. He was downstairs with his older brother. Eight years between them. The conversation one sided when I peeked in. The older brother dancing to the songs on his iPad. The younger brother playing dinosaurs. The moved around the room together. Clumsily. Interacting at times. But more often not. ‘Why doesn’t he talk mama?’ I did my best to explain autism to the tiny human who I know without a doubt will grow up…
Last night when I opened my son Cooper’s backpack I found a gift that he had made me. I cried. Which may sound silly. I’m sure most mother’s are used to getting these types of gifts from their child’s daycare and then preschool and eventually school. I’m not though. Crafts clumsily put together with love, glue, glitter and color. This one was perfection. When I showed it to him he clapped and gasped. He knew. He can’t say Happy Mother’a Day…but he knows. As I sipped my coffee I let…
Yesterday was my dad’s birthday. 80 years young I told him on the phone. ‘I’m old Katie Marie. I’m old.’ When he said it we both laughed. Like we always do. As we chatted about the weather and my brothers and kids and how he misses driving, I felt the shift in time. I am old. He is older. Neither of us young anymore. We laughed a lot. Which felt like putting on an old lived-in sweatshirt that you’ve had for years. Each of his laughs brought me a sense…
This morning, right as he was heading out the door for school, my son Cooper said a word for the first time. Umprompted. The word was boots. He said it so casually, so matter of factly, that when I heard it, I didn’t catch it at first. I was playing legos with my other kids and yelling goodbye and I love you while thinking about my day. I was busy. Mom busy. But after he said it, he paused, just for a moment. He was looking right at me from…
This motherhood stuff is tough sometimes. Like cry at 3 am tough when your sweet baby refuses to sleep. But a friend of mine, Carrie Cariello, told me the most beautiful thing this weekend. And I can’t stop thinking about it. We were on a panel. Me, her, and our friend Jackie. We were asked what advice we would give to parents of newly diagnosed kids. It a pretty common question. I spoke of pausing. Not rushing through. Taking time to process and feel the big feelings and sit in…
Are you a glass half full or half empty kind of person? I like to think I’m glass half full. I strive for optimism. Mostly. Lately I’ve been a bit down. The season of life getting to me a bit. My three year…he is pure joy. I call him my too much kid. Too much noise. Too much mess. Joy. Love. Energy. All of it. He reminds me to look at this life with happy eyes. Like this exchange… “How was your day buddy? Good. Who did you play with?…
My sweet boy, I’m just sitting here watching you sleep. I often do this, just so you know. I sneak in your room and quietly sit on the bed near you. Someday I’m sure you’ll tell me I’m creepy with your speech device. Or maybe even say it. Secretly, I can’t wait. I can’t wait for that simple normalcy. But until then, this mama ain’t stopping because I like to watch you sleep and imagine what you are dreaming about. I like to rub your hair and snuggle you really…
