My son, I want to tell you about the beginning. The beginning of autism. And a bit of the middle I suppose. I used to get so upset when people stared at you. You’d be flapping. Or making happy noises. Screeches. Grunts. High pitched screams. One second you’d be on the floor and the next running only to drop to the ground, roll, laugh and pat the ground. Or you’d be melting down. Screaming. Either way it almost sounds the same. Loud. I’d look around. Make eye contact. Sometimes I’d…
A few days ago I was driving myself and my four kids home from my mom’s house in Wisconsin. We had just celebrated Christmas and my SUV was packed to the brim with toys, leftovers, and love. The sky was dark as I navigated the backroads I’ve driven home for 30-some years. I remember being a little girl and dozing as my parent’s car bounced over the same bumpy roads. Only this time I was the parent, and I had three sleeping kids in the seat behind me, and one…
As we age, our interests change. They evolve. They grow with us. But what if they don’t? What if they stay the same year after year? In the real world, they call it age appropriate. It means teenagers shouldn’t be watching Barney or adults shouldn’t be believing in Santa. Someone once told me to turn off the cartoons and put on the National Geographic channel. I still laugh about that. They thought parents like me should be forcing interests. My son is 12. He’s amazing. And he loves Peppa, Barney,…
Why isn’t therapy talked about more? Why is it that therapy looks like a bad thing? Because it isn’t. Therapy is for people who can’t just figure it out, right? Who can’t just get over things. Who can’t handle life. Right? Absolutely wrong. In my opinion, I think everyone could benefit from at least one therapy session. Why? Therapists aren’t just there to hear you talk about your life (although that is so healing), they are there to give you tools to succeed! To process your emotions! To remind you…
These two had a brotherly scuffle last night. Very typical in a ‘not-so-always’ typical life. The older one is 12. The younger one is 9 for a few more weeks. I could hear them wrestling upstairs. It honestly sounded like the ceiling was going to cave in. I heard laughter. Squeals. Stomping. Running. Words. ‘Come and get me!’ And the nonverbal responses that Cooper gives. Sounds. Happy pitches. Clapping hands. So much joy. And then a scream. Yelling. Running. Tattling. A near tears explanation that Cooper ripped the fuzzy ball…
It was a typical Saturday. We were invited to a picnic at my husband, Jeremy’s, Uncle’s house. It was a small affair of just immediate family and us. We were excited to see everyone. Since the pandemic had had us at home for sometime only going out for basics and to Whit’s therapies and school. We smoked queso and made a pasta salad. Loaded everyone in the car triple checked to make sure we had everything and off we went. We got there unloaded, said our hello’s, grabbed food and…
One morning last winter, around 6:00 a.m., my husband woke me as he hurried up the steps toward our bedroom. It’s as though I could feel his fear arrive before he got to the doorway. Our daughter, Seeley, will be eight soon. She is autistic, endured significant prenatal alcohol exposure, has ADHD, is riddled with anxiety, and she has been diagnosed with BiPolar2 with Rapid Cycling. As soon as he reached the door, I met his eyes and knew my hunch was right. When he shouted, “I need you, she…
My 19-year-old son, Skyler, has severe, nonverbal autism. Throughout his lifetime, I have spent every waking moment deciphering his body language and nonverbal cues to make the decisions that I felt were in his best interest. Is he hungry and if so, will the meal selection I make be something he’ll be interested in eating? Is he tired and if so, should I let him go to bed early even at the risk of him waking up (and forcing us up) in the wee hours of the morning? Is he…
I have a beautiful moment to share with you… This morning, when I came out of my bedroom, far earlier than I would have liked, I knew my Cooper was waiting on the stairs for me. For one I could hear train whistles and happy music. And secondly, lately, he’s been waiting for me more. Near, but far. Not close enough to touch, but easily heard and seen if I peek around a corner or under a table. He gasped as he usually does when it’s been a period of…
I always wondered what kind of relationship my kids would have when we discovered that Nixon would have a little sister. His life changed when we brought his sister Nora home from the hospital. They are two and a half years apart, and I wondered if they would have a close relationship as my siblings and I do. I had so many additional thoughts after both of our children’s autism diagnoses. Would they connect in the way brothers and sisters do? Their connection with each other was immediate. I would…
