You see the posts, you hear the stories, but you don’t always know how to help….. You don’t have a child with special needs, but your friend or a family member does. You want to do something, but are unsure of where to start. Here are five ideas that have been life-changing for me. Remind her that she’s doing a great job. When she’s in the toughest times she’s doubting herself, she’s wondering if it’s her fault, if she will ever make it through. Reach out, remind her how amazing…
Dear friend, (whose child has just been diagnosed with autism.) Your child has just been diagnosed with autism. Maybe it came as a shock. Maybe not. Maybe like me you already had an idea that something was going on. But you still felt the sting when the words were said out loud. There are so many things I want to tell you. So many important things that I feel you should know. But right now, if you were anything like I was 9 years ago, your head is spinning. You…
What I want the world to know about being a mom of a child with autism is that it is coupled with grief. I love my daughter. With every ounce of my being. She brings me joy and hope every single day. She teaches me patience, perspective, and that there is more than one way to do EVERYTHING. But I was not unprepared for the grief. When you hear that you are going to have a baby your brain starts dreaming of the life that will soon be. So many…
Our son was diagnosed with autism at age 6. Although it has only been 3 years since diagnosis, there are many things I wished I knew then that I know now. I remember we felt like we were navigating the journey blind. We felt so alone and isolated, and it was a lot of trial and error. There wasn’t a guidebook on how to navigate the world of autism. So here are 24 things I wished I knew in hopes that it helps someone who is newly diagnosed: 1. Contact…
I have two beautiful kids, a 7 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. My son is autistic. This adds a different dynamic to their relationship, but really it’s their normal. I remember the day they first met. We were so nervous about how he would react to her. We’d practiced with baby dolls and talked about her all the time. A reminder she was coming. He had baby cousins around before, so he knew what babies were like. I was nervous about a baby that never leaves…
Progress. That is what this photo shows. Night and day progress. Years ago, taking this photo would not have been possible. Instead, I would be standing right next to Lucas and his Dad on the other side. I couldn’t take him alone. That would be a disaster. His hair would be so long it would become unmanageable. Washing it was too hard, so we’d have to make the dreaded appointment. I’d wear the least amount of clothing possible. Why? Because my body temperature would rise in an instant. My face…
We sat in this room the night before you arrived. We were scared, terrified, really. I got a call that morning saying the state of Louisiana had a little 3-year-old boy who was nonverbal in the foster care system. Do you want this placement, Mrs. Marler? She asked! I instantly said YES!! I called my husband immediately, telling him the good news. He was so excited until the moment I said this little three-year-old boy is nonverbal and might have autism. The phone went silent. My husband and I both…
To the mom of the toddler that won’t sit still at mom and me music class. To the mom of the toddler that won’t interact with other kids at Gymboree. To the mom that is chasing her toddler around Gymboree while the other moms are standing chatting pushing their kids on the swings. I just want to say I see you. I was you. I was the mom that sat in her car after buckling her boy in his car seat, wearing sunglasses trying not to let her boy see…
Someone asked me the other day when I accepted autism. The mom asking was early into her autism journey and honestly wondering when the moment comes. I could not answer. There was not a defining moment. It took me years to come to terms with the direction our lives took and every day I figure it out a little more, but I don’t think I will ever fully accept it. I will always wonder. I am human. That does not mean I do not accept my daughter for who she…
I have a story to share with you. A little long possibly, but worth the read. My son Cooper is 12 years old. He has a diagnosis of nonverbal/nonspeaking autism. He loves trains and swimming and asks me every single day to go to outer space with his friends, the Little Einsteins. He is in 6th grade. He uses an iPad called a ‘talker’ to communicate. He’s never quiet. He loves to take photographs. His hair is blonde. He has a mole on his right foot next to his big…
