You can ask any autism parent about what it’s like to raise a little person with a big diagnosis. You will get many answers about what it’s like. And that’s because there are no two autistic people that are the same. And on top of that, I think parents acknowledge and accept it in different ways. For me autism is frustrating. And exhausting. And heartbreaking. And dreadfully hopeful. And painful. And above all a process. A slow process that crawls along with glimpses of the future. Autism is expensive. And SO…
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Most days I don’t think about Autism. Not the word or the disorder or anything to do with it. Cooper is just Cooper and he is who he is. And that’s that. Dare I say I was getting cocky. I may even say I let my guard down. Since we did the move and put Coops in intensive therapy there are parts of him that seem almost healed. Or normal. Or whatever PC word I’m allowed to say. Zero meltdowns, good transitions, improved skills, etc. Still no words but great…
Read MoreSometimes I get so caught up in the appointments and therapies and sadness and emotions that I actually forget Cooper is a 4 year old boy. An extremely sensitive, precocious, naughty little boy who is obsessed with hugs and holding hands. Who squeals every single day to be tickled and chased and thrown in the air. And a little boy who just mastered waving hello and goodbye and believes that when he waves to a person the situation should be over immediately. Sigh, my sweet boy…if only that were true.…
Read MoreI got a letter in the mail yesterday telling me that Coopers insurance benefits are reinstated. I breathed a sigh of relief that could have been heard cross country. And I instantly felt like a weight had been lifted. And then promptly drank a bottle of wine and watched The Girlfriends Guide to Divorce…my favorite show. And zoned the F out. I literally shut down for the whole night. I thought autism was heavy but it nowhere nears the stress of not being able to pay for the help he…
Read MoreI got a call yesterday afternoon from Cooper’s school. It was a man asking me about our experience with Fraser. He said he didn’t have any specific questions and would like if I just spoke freely about our experiences. I told him an overview of our story and that we loved Fraser. It has changed our lives. He was the sweetest man and said he was at a loss for words at the love we have Cooper. He then went onto tell me that his autistic nephew is 11 and…
Read MoreI went to a seminar last week on navigating the Medical Assistance waters. It was pretty intense. Typically, those types of events make me sad. I hate that I need to be there. I am resentful. I am tired. Blah, blah, blah. But, I am glad I went. I am in a battle with the county over Cooper’s benefits. We moved our whole lives here so Cooper could attend a school that has the price tag of Yale. And we need help paying for it. Here is how the county…
Read MoreI brought Super Cooper to school today because the bus system can’t seem to get their shit together. Which is just awesome. But, the positive, I got an extra few minutes with Cooper. And something extraordinary happened. We were driving to school and I was rushed and going a million miles a minutes. The usual. I started to tell Cooper all about his day. Just like we had been doing since 6:30 am. I’m not sure if telling him about his day helps but we do it anyways. So, I…
Read MoreCooper has a pooping problem. Or more specifically, a constipation problem. I’ve always felt that it has to do with his diet being so restricted. The kid eats right around 10 founds plus any carb type snack. I don’t believe he has eaten a vegetable since he was 9 months old. And as for fruit it’s only fresh strawberries. And trust me, I thank God that he at least eats those. I can actually remember the last time he ate a vegetable. I remember he was 11 months or so and eating peas because…
Read MoreI was chatting with a friend today and she said to me….“I have never met a more resilient family. It’s like change doesn’t scare you.” I just smiled and nodded. It must appear that way to the outside world. Oddly enough I usually feel like I am standing in a room screaming and people are rushing by me. But, apparently from the outside, I appear to have my shit together. Score one for me and bring on more changes. Cooper is starting an autism preschool at the local elementary school on…
Read MoreCooper had a long couple weeks off from school. Rather, Cooper had a break from school and mom lost her mind. And so did dad. I think we were both actually excited to go back to work. And I see it more and more how much Cooper needs structure. I also need structure. Cooper would watch movies ALL DAY if we let him. And oddly enough there is an emotional strain on me when he does that. I feel like such a failure. I was looking through pictures getting ready for this…
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