A new thing is happening at our house. Sawyer wants Cooper to ‘help’ him with his antics. Fort building, trying to convince mom and dad to go to a pool, late night ice cream runs. It’s pretty cute. ‘Cooper!! Wanna help me build a fort? Yes or no? Yes? Come on Cooper. Come on. Mom said it’s ok!’ And off they run. Cooper has no idea what he’s agreeing too either. But he doesn’t care. My heart melts. Just the sound of Sawyer saying Cooper’s name in a sentence. It’s…
We just got back from a 3-day trip to Washington, DC. To say that I was dreading this trip would be an understatement. Plane rides, security checks, hotels, crosswalks, crowds, the unknown – all of this is so overwhelming for our family. You see, we have three amazing kids, but Drew, our 13-year-old son, has severe autism. He is non-verbal and really doesn’t like to venture very far outside of his routine and typical home/school/therapy environments. Or does he? This trip literally started off with a disaster of the epic…
As autism awareness month continues, I’m flooded with so many thoughts and emotions. Our son was diagnosed almost three years ago and this journey has been life changing. I love my beautiful son Maddux. He is the center of our world. But, I hate autism a lot of days and what it steals from our family. I grieve the life our son would be living when I see other young boys his age. It kills me inside and is something I will always struggle with. Most days I’m brave and…
This morning Jamie, Sawyer and I went to church to celebrate Easter. Typically, it’s just Sawyer and I because someone has to stay home with Cooper. But since it’s a special day, I wanted Jamie to join us. As usual I felt the sting of leaving Cooper behind with his aunt as we left for church. Today, he even halfheartedly grabbed his shoes to come with us. What I wouldn’t give to do something as a family of four. Just once. I’m pretty sure that most people think we only…
On November of 2014, the most beautiful baby boy came into our lives. As most new parents, we were completely overjoyed and thought he was absolutely perfect. Jackson was such a happy baby, and I remember how people used to comment on how expressive he was. As Jackson grew, he continued to hit all the milestones of a typical growing infant and soon, toddler. Rolling over? Check. Crawling? Check. Walking? Check. First words? Nothing. I recall around age two when I started to get a little suspicious about why my…
It’s almost April, and the world will be lighting up blue for autism awareness. I saw posts about autism before I had Austin. I saw friends changing their porch lights. I saw it, but I really couldn’t relate. I hadn’t experienced autism. Autism was something other people’s kids had. Fast forward a few years, and our lives revolve around autism. I read and research about it.I analyze and obsess over whether we’re doing enough for Austin, or whether we’re doing too much. Autism has taken over our lives in many…
A video has been showing up in my news feed lately. It was produced by a group called Born Different. As I scrolled the video began to auto play. The caption caught my eye. ‘These twins with severe autism were forced to stay in a prison-like home surrounded by chicken wire fence. Rather than give up, their parents persevered to improve their behavior.’ I paused for a moment. A video about severe autism. A video about my world. A video that shows behaviors and our realities. The realities I lovingly…
I often wonder how many people actually care about these awareness campaigns. I don’t mean that pessimistically. There are many wonderful people that try to educate others on many topics. However, as realists, most people don’t care unless they are somehow connected to the illness or disability, and there are so many of them. October is breast cancer awareness month. February is wear red for heart disease in women. June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month. Literally, every time I’m driving I see a bumper sticker for some kind of…
Two months ago I knew that my son knew all of his letters. I knew he loved the alphabet with a passion. But I didn’t know what else to do with it. He struggled to pay attention. To focus. To sit and learn. He showed no desire to read or write. But, and there is always a but in our world, I started imagining a world where he could type to me and have a conversation through text. What would he say to me if he could? And before I…
For years I longed for kisses and hugs from my autistic son. But, it never came. He’d gladly receive affection and even ate it up and yes, I was thankful for that. But before autism I just assumed affection came naturally. I had no idea that teaching a child to ‘give’ affection could be a challenge. Or even a skill that needed to be taught. On top of not willingly showing affection, Cooper simply didn’t know how to actually kiss or hug. Due to his Apraxia, his lips are unable…
